Doug Reinhardt spent $2 mil to make his penis itch

Doug Reinhardt reportedly dropped over $2 million on Paris Hilton during their relationship, according to RadarOnline:

“Doug never used Paris. He spent 2 million dollars on her over the course of a year and a half,” a source revealed to “She never once paid for a single thing.”
Reinhardt, a former professional baseball player, had a lot to live up to in terms of keeping up with the heiress’ jet-setting lifestyle. During the course of their relationship they had been to Fiji, Hawaii, Aspen and Anguilla among other places.
“Between flying private, private islands, etc… in reality he paid for everything!

Setting aside the fact there’s no way Doug Reinhardt has $2 million, I’m going to fully accept this story because it enforces previously established stereotypes that I’ll never abandon:

1. Doug Reinhardt is a fucking idiot.
2. Paris Hilton is a cheap vapid whore who’ll do anything for jewelry.

No, really, all this story was missing is a part where they throw Faberge eggs at Old Navy shoppers. “Dougie, I hit a poor person buying $5 capri pants. Do me!”

Photos: Getty