Doug Reinhardt basically takes Paris back

June 12th, 2009 // 58 Comments

Despite issuing a statement calling her a slut after a very public hookup with Cristiano Ronaldo, Doug Reinhardt took Paris Hilton back last night after she came crawling to his house. TMZ reports:

But our spies say last night Paris begged Doug to take her back. She told him she loved him and had made a mistake by breaking up with him.
We’re told she was texting him all night and then showed up at his house at 4 AM this morning, banging on his door. Apparently Doug succumbed to her charm.

According to Page Six, this whole debacle is the result of Paris flipping out Tuesday night because Doug was hanging out with Texas beauty queen Kendhal Beal and Brody Jenner:

“Kendhal knows Brody and Doug, and so they were talking and catching up. They all took a shot and were watching the Lakers game,” said the rep. “But Paris got word that Doug was at the bar, and she showed up and started going at it.”
Beal’s rep told Page Six, “Paris was picking up ice and fruit and throwing it at Kendhal — she was the victim. Kendhal did nothing offensive or aggressive. Paris was throwing accusations, calling her names. It was the same thing you always hear about Paris and her tirades.”

So let me get this straight: Paris flips out on Doug in public, dumps him, bangs a soccer player in front of half of LA the next night, and 24 hours later Doug takes her back? I’m no doctor, but this has to be grounds to declare Doug Reinhardt legally brain dead. Someone notify the next of kin.

Thanks to Miss Zanna who’s further convinced thousand dollar bills fall out of Paris’ vagina. Along with the occasional snapping turtle.

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Comments (58)

  1. Paris again? | June 12, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    *Yawwnn*

    Reply
  2. missguydead | June 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Oh good! I was sooo upset by the news that Paris is a slut , now she is Doug’s slut again. His parents must be proud!

    Reply
  3. Sandy | June 12, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    “Thanks to Miss Zanna”

    Well well well…it seems the student has become the teacher…’s assistant.

    Reply
  4. Zanna | June 12, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    Back like a Herpes flareup…

    BOO-YAH!

    Reply
  5. Cher | June 12, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    Are those bruises on her legs?

    Reply
  6. Sheena | June 12, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    How old is Paris Hilton? WHAT? She’s 28?!? Could’ve sworn she was 15, back in high school throwing temper tantrums because her Ken doll looked at someone else.

    Please God, if you are at all merciful, PLEASE kill Paris Hilton. In a really graphic & gruesome manner. (One last fling for the paps, don’tcha know.)

    Reply
  7. sexybitch | June 12, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    ZANNA! YAAAAY! YOU ROCK, you little news scooper, you! (Tho in this case, you actually pooper scooped!)

    Reply
  8. Zanna | June 12, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    Sexxy Bitch! Where you been?

    Reply
  9. KKK | June 12, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    white people are dumb

    Reply
  10. sexybitch | June 12, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    #8 I been away, baby. Carrie Prejean hired me to protect her from zombie attacks, and I had the damndest time convincing her that since she didn’t have a brain, she was safe. Then she stiffed me and wouldn’t pay my bill. Enjoy opposite employment, Carrie!

    How the hell are ya? I miss you guys!

    Reply
  11. Ananana | June 12, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Jesus Fucking Christ on a fucking skateboard… is she for real??? I wonder how he feels after seeing this online:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDM9LTsHMTQ

    (it’s Paris toasting with her friend after CR left her house. i posted this before, but it’s relevant, so yea…)

    Reply
  12. Andie | June 12, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Nothing says integrity like spreading your legs with a short dress on to get dry-humped by your douche of a boyfriend (who looks drunk enough to vomit, by the way) in front of a room full of people! When you’re almost 30! Smile, Paris, the world is watching!

    Reply
  13. the grapes of ROUGH | June 12, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Awww! she passed the Cristiano pube exam, good for Doug i was pulling for you buddy!

    Reply
  14. Zanna | June 12, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    @10 – Yea, I hear you. I was busy too but now Craigslist doesn’t let you sell “adult services” on there anymore so I’ve had more free time.

    Reply
  15. It's Me Fuckers | June 12, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    it’s not charm she has. It’s free, easy, rich, (infected) pussy. Can you imagine how fuckin pretty some guy is going to be sitting if he knocks her up?

    Reply
  16. Bitch | June 12, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    The only saving grace in this mess is that these two clowns will keep the STD’s to themselves (for now). I just DON’T understand why people think this slut is attractive. Wonky eye…head the size of a 40-pound smartie…canoe’s for shoes…blech! All the money in the world can’t buy class and Horseshit Hilton is a perfect example…

    Reply
  17. Venom | June 12, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Of course he took her back.
    No one is going to want to bang him now that he slept with Paris and he is infested.
    Herpes, your friend forever.

    Reply
  18. Lee | June 12, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Doug’s face in this picture is priceless. It looks like he just caught a glimpse of whatever mutated reminents of genitals are under Paris’ skirt and he’s about to vom.

    Reply
  19. Tad Bit Tipsy | June 12, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    “It’s funny how a bitch will make you think she’s with you, while all the time she’s just another nigga’s gold digger” MJG

    Reply
  20. sexybitch | June 12, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    #14 Damn, that’s true. But they’re looking for Miss CA USA contestants on Craig’s List, Sacramento and San Francisco. They should knock out some of the competiton, huh? How’s that Coach bag working out for you?

    http://sacramento.craigslist.org/tfr/1165887788.html
    http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/tfr/1165925396.html

    Reply
  21. Observer | June 12, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    I love Jessica Simpson’s Dad in the background taking Perv Pics

    Reply
  22. ewww | June 12, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    #21 “This is what Daddy would like you to do with him, Jessica…”

    Reply
  23. Parisssssssssssssssssssssssssss | June 12, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    ROTFLMAO@18

    Reply
  24. laurie | June 12, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Yay!!! Zanna you got a shout out.

    Reply
  25. Jonny | June 12, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    I don’t even know what exactly to think about this… He’s retarded? She’s retarded? I’m retarded for spending energy writing about two retarded retards?

    Reply
  26. Superbiggerevil | June 12, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    Well…at least they’re doing something to contain the disease.

    Reply
  27. behold: the power of cheese? | June 12, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    nope…. behold: the power of STD’s!

    Reply
  28. water | June 12, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    Isn’t this twit like thirty years old now? Jeesh. Do something with your life.

    Reply
  29. titsonsnack | June 12, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    Her body is weird and they are both staring into the top of her chest. He’s about to vom.

    Reply
  30. caljenna66 | June 12, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    @ Paris Hilton: stop trying to make headbands come back, you look like an idiot…

    Reply
  31. Do FreeBird | June 12, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    Two drunken coke heads having random sex in front of doxens of people, some talking home movies on their cell phones.

    Stay classy bitch

    Reply
  32. bigb | June 12, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    old pictures,ho hum!

    Reply
  33. Sam | June 12, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    loooll wtf. she knew that Christiano Ronaldo is coming to the states so she did this plan to sleep with him and takes Doug back without saying that she “dumps” her boyfriend.
    slutt!!!

    Reply
  34. Bigo | June 12, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    ……____________________ , ,
    ……/ `—___________—-_____|]? ????D
    …../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
    …..), —.(_(__) /
    ….// (..) ), —-
    …//___//
    ..//___//
    .//___//
    Bang Bang!!!!!!!

    Reply
  35. Jamie's Uterus | June 12, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    Maybe he nailed her in between herpes outbreaks? Enough with this tired slut.

    Reply
  36. Funeral Guy | June 12, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    She’s hot enough that I’d still put on a couple of rubbers and fuck her.

    Reply
  37. ishi-san | June 12, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    @33 exactly what i was thinking!

    Reply
  38. parisisugly | June 13, 2009 at 3:18 am

    So nasty..she’s the biggest skanky ho! Why oh why do men want to bang her?
    She looks like a tranny!

    Reply
  39. parisisugly | June 13, 2009 at 3:20 am

    #36 – u better quadruple them up.. UGH.. Herpes sound fun to you or something?

    Reply
  40. cookie | June 13, 2009 at 7:52 am

    (?_?)(?_?)??__Sugarbabymeet.com__?? This is the best place for looking for sexy ladies(younge&rich) dating relationship or marriage. Now,Join us totally free!(?_?)(?_?)

    Reply
  41. the grapes of ROUGH | June 13, 2009 at 7:53 am

    Very plausible #33, I dont put it pass PH. I know shes known as an airhead but her guilefulness is light years ahead of the competition when it comes to being a globetrotting slag. And i mean that with the sincerest flattery…

    Reply
  42. Meream | June 13, 2009 at 8:01 am

    So let me get this straight: Paris flips out on Doug in public, dumps him, bangs a soccer player in front of half of LA the next night, and 24 hours later Doug takes her back? —> Yes, that’s about right. That’s the new definition of LOVE.

    Reply
  43. Darth | June 13, 2009 at 9:05 am

    A kind of confusing.She’s playing with him like a kid who got new marbles.

    Reply
  44. Nero | June 13, 2009 at 9:12 am

    She loves to play,if you’re not playful enough then she’ll dump you.

    Reply
  45. Reverend James | June 13, 2009 at 9:28 am

    WTF Superficial Writer? Couldn’t find a new picture so you use one that you prominently used for the Paris and Doug basically f-ing in public post? I know it’s Paris, but it’s no excuse to be lazy. I expected more from you. Shame. Shame upon you. You’re still great, though.

    Reply
  46. Arroyo | June 13, 2009 at 11:30 am

    @42 … ditto THAT.

    If Doug had any self esteem he’d hook up with Cristiano in a “get even” date.

    Reply
  47. Dave | June 13, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    who cares about paris nemore

    Reply
  48. captain america | June 13, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    THE MORE DRUNK THE “WISER”, folks?
    (maybe his PENIS talks?)

    Reply
  49. Dantheman | June 13, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    Is she suppose to be sexy…she looks like a fucking trans and He look like a teen geting drunk on his grad party…

    Reply
  50. dude | June 13, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Doug!! that painful urination isn’t because you’ve been dancing so hard!

    Reply

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