Doug Reinhardt basically takes Paris back

June 12th, 2009 // 58 Comments

Despite issuing a statement calling her a slut after a very public hookup with Cristiano Ronaldo, Doug Reinhardt took Paris Hilton back last night after she came crawling to his house. TMZ reports:

But our spies say last night Paris begged Doug to take her back. She told him she loved him and had made a mistake by breaking up with him.
We’re told she was texting him all night and then showed up at his house at 4 AM this morning, banging on his door. Apparently Doug succumbed to her charm.

According to Page Six, this whole debacle is the result of Paris flipping out Tuesday night because Doug was hanging out with Texas beauty queen Kendhal Beal and Brody Jenner:

“Kendhal knows Brody and Doug, and so they were talking and catching up. They all took a shot and were watching the Lakers game,” said the rep. “But Paris got word that Doug was at the bar, and she showed up and started going at it.”
Beal’s rep told Page Six, “Paris was picking up ice and fruit and throwing it at Kendhal — she was the victim. Kendhal did nothing offensive or aggressive. Paris was throwing accusations, calling her names. It was the same thing you always hear about Paris and her tirades.”

So let me get this straight: Paris flips out on Doug in public, dumps him, bangs a soccer player in front of half of LA the next night, and 24 hours later Doug takes her back? I’m no doctor, but this has to be grounds to declare Doug Reinhardt legally brain dead. Someone notify the next of kin.

Thanks to Miss Zanna who’s further convinced thousand dollar bills fall out of Paris’ vagina. Along with the occasional snapping turtle.

superficial

  1. Paris again?

    *Yawwnn*

  2. missguydead

    Oh good! I was sooo upset by the news that Paris is a slut , now she is Doug’s slut again. His parents must be proud!

  3. Sandy

    “Thanks to Miss Zanna”

    Well well well…it seems the student has become the teacher…’s assistant.

  4. Zanna

    Back like a Herpes flareup…

    BOO-YAH!

  5. Cher

    Are those bruises on her legs?

  6. Sheena

    How old is Paris Hilton? WHAT? She’s 28?!? Could’ve sworn she was 15, back in high school throwing temper tantrums because her Ken doll looked at someone else.

    Please God, if you are at all merciful, PLEASE kill Paris Hilton. In a really graphic & gruesome manner. (One last fling for the paps, don’tcha know.)

  7. sexybitch

    ZANNA! YAAAAY! YOU ROCK, you little news scooper, you! (Tho in this case, you actually pooper scooped!)

  8. Zanna

    Sexxy Bitch! Where you been?

  9. KKK

    white people are dumb

  10. sexybitch

    #8 I been away, baby. Carrie Prejean hired me to protect her from zombie attacks, and I had the damndest time convincing her that since she didn’t have a brain, she was safe. Then she stiffed me and wouldn’t pay my bill. Enjoy opposite employment, Carrie!

    How the hell are ya? I miss you guys!

  11. Ananana

    Jesus Fucking Christ on a fucking skateboard… is she for real??? I wonder how he feels after seeing this online:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDM9LTsHMTQ

    (it’s Paris toasting with her friend after CR left her house. i posted this before, but it’s relevant, so yea…)

  12. Andie

    Nothing says integrity like spreading your legs with a short dress on to get dry-humped by your douche of a boyfriend (who looks drunk enough to vomit, by the way) in front of a room full of people! When you’re almost 30! Smile, Paris, the world is watching!

  13. Awww! she passed the Cristiano pube exam, good for Doug i was pulling for you buddy!

  14. Zanna

    @10 – Yea, I hear you. I was busy too but now Craigslist doesn’t let you sell “adult services” on there anymore so I’ve had more free time.

  15. It's Me Fuckers

    it’s not charm she has. It’s free, easy, rich, (infected) pussy. Can you imagine how fuckin pretty some guy is going to be sitting if he knocks her up?

  16. Bitch

    The only saving grace in this mess is that these two clowns will keep the STD’s to themselves (for now). I just DON’T understand why people think this slut is attractive. Wonky eye…head the size of a 40-pound smartie…canoe’s for shoes…blech! All the money in the world can’t buy class and Horseshit Hilton is a perfect example…

  17. Venom

    Of course he took her back.
    No one is going to want to bang him now that he slept with Paris and he is infested.
    Herpes, your friend forever.

  18. Lee

    Doug’s face in this picture is priceless. It looks like he just caught a glimpse of whatever mutated reminents of genitals are under Paris’ skirt and he’s about to vom.

  19. Tad Bit Tipsy

    “It’s funny how a bitch will make you think she’s with you, while all the time she’s just another nigga’s gold digger” MJG

  20. sexybitch

    #14 Damn, that’s true. But they’re looking for Miss CA USA contestants on Craig’s List, Sacramento and San Francisco. They should knock out some of the competiton, huh? How’s that Coach bag working out for you?

    http://sacramento.craigslist.org/tfr/1165887788.html
    http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/tfr/1165925396.html

  21. Observer

    I love Jessica Simpson’s Dad in the background taking Perv Pics

  22. ewww

    #21 “This is what Daddy would like you to do with him, Jessica…”

  23. Parisssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    ROTFLMAO@18

  24. laurie

    Yay!!! Zanna you got a shout out.

  25. Jonny

    I don’t even know what exactly to think about this… He’s retarded? She’s retarded? I’m retarded for spending energy writing about two retarded retards?

  26. Superbiggerevil

    Well…at least they’re doing something to contain the disease.

  27. behold: the power of cheese?

    nope…. behold: the power of STD’s!

  28. water

    Isn’t this twit like thirty years old now? Jeesh. Do something with your life.

  29. titsonsnack

    Her body is weird and they are both staring into the top of her chest. He’s about to vom.

  30. caljenna66

    @ Paris Hilton: stop trying to make headbands come back, you look like an idiot…

  31. Do FreeBird

    Two drunken coke heads having random sex in front of doxens of people, some talking home movies on their cell phones.

    Stay classy bitch

  32. bigb

    old pictures,ho hum!

  33. Sam

    loooll wtf. she knew that Christiano Ronaldo is coming to the states so she did this plan to sleep with him and takes Doug back without saying that she “dumps” her boyfriend.
    slutt!!!

  34. Bigo

    ……____________________ , ,
    ……/ `—___________—-_____|]? ????D
    …../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
    …..), —.(_(__) /
    ….// (..) ), —-
    …//___//
    ..//___//
    .//___//
    Bang Bang!!!!!!!

  35. Jamie's Uterus

    Maybe he nailed her in between herpes outbreaks? Enough with this tired slut.

  36. Funeral Guy

    She’s hot enough that I’d still put on a couple of rubbers and fuck her.

  37. ishi-san

    @33 exactly what i was thinking!

  38. parisisugly

    So nasty..she’s the biggest skanky ho! Why oh why do men want to bang her?
    She looks like a tranny!

  39. parisisugly

    #36 – u better quadruple them up.. UGH.. Herpes sound fun to you or something?

  40. cookie

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  41. Very plausible #33, I dont put it pass PH. I know shes known as an airhead but her guilefulness is light years ahead of the competition when it comes to being a globetrotting slag. And i mean that with the sincerest flattery…

  42. So let me get this straight: Paris flips out on Doug in public, dumps him, bangs a soccer player in front of half of LA the next night, and 24 hours later Doug takes her back? —> Yes, that’s about right. That’s the new definition of LOVE.

  43. Darth

    A kind of confusing.She’s playing with him like a kid who got new marbles.

  44. Nero

    She loves to play,if you’re not playful enough then she’ll dump you.

  45. Reverend James

    WTF Superficial Writer? Couldn’t find a new picture so you use one that you prominently used for the Paris and Doug basically f-ing in public post? I know it’s Paris, but it’s no excuse to be lazy. I expected more from you. Shame. Shame upon you. You’re still great, though.

  46. Arroyo

    @42 … ditto THAT.

    If Doug had any self esteem he’d hook up with Cristiano in a “get even” date.

  47. who cares about paris nemore

  48. captain america

    THE MORE DRUNK THE “WISER”, folks?
    (maybe his PENIS talks?)

  49. Dantheman

    Is she suppose to be sexy…she looks like a fucking trans and He look like a teen geting drunk on his grad party…

  50. dude

    Doug!! that painful urination isn’t because you’ve been dancing so hard!

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