Don’t Be Such A Douche, Steve Harvey

Steve Harvey can get all whippity-dippity in the head if too many things are going on at once. That’s why he flubbed the Miss Universe winner in 2015- with tons of boobies bouncing about all duppity-dumbly, he got confused. That’s the only explanation I have as to why he had to put out an APB to his “Steve Harvey Show” staff acting like a kid who’s pissed at his parents because they snubbed him on Christmas.

I could have sworn this was written by my grumpy uncle Rob, who threatened to rip the face off of anyone who knocked on the bathroom door while he was taking a dump the morning after Thanksgiving.

Who knows, maybe the staff was mobbing Steve Harvey into submission on a daily basis with questions about what kind of facial expression he should give to the circus midget who can shove pingpong balls up his pee-hole (is that the kind of stuff that goes on on The Steve Harvey show? I’ve never seen it but I know daytime TV gets wild these days).

Just for fun, I bet it would look something like this:

steve harvey show