Donnie Wahlberg Wants Jenny McCarthy’s Fingers In His Booty Ass

“Show us on your wife where the end of civilization as we know it might begin.”

It’s one thing to be a celebrity and get called out on Twitter by an ex about your preference for anal penetration, but it’s a another thing entirely when the event becomes so culturally ubiquitous that other, shittier celebrities feel comfortable going on daytime TV and punking you for it. That’s the literal definition of being washed up, and it happened to the genius rapper/fashionista/second coming of Martin Luther Christ, Kanye West, by one of the dudes from NKOTB and the MTV tits from 20 years ago who might get your kid killed by antique diseases. Via Page Six:

“She says that she did it so she can see it on my face, but she was hoping that it could lead to some Amber Rose, Kanye business,” the “Blue Bloods” star quipped. “She wanted to see that finger go in just a little.”

While I admit it’s fucking hilarious that Kanye is now and forever will be a joke about anal fingering, what’s not hilarious is that Jenny McCarthy might be pregnant again. This is the woman who threw so much gasoline on the anti-vax movement that eventually Disneyland turned into a goddamn measles ward. But no, please keep shitting out little Typhoid Marys made of half Southie dipshit DNA. And now, as a parent of all of three weeks who is putting words on the Internet, I’d like to explain my child rearing choices in a way that will passively assert my superiority and shame anyone whose kid doesn’t behave exactly how Baby 411 said they woul– *gets chloroformed by Fish*

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