Donna D’Errico Fell Off A Mountain Trying To Find Noah’s Ark. No, Really.

August 14th, 2012 // 129 Comments
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Full Disclosure: I’ve been waiting all day to write this post because it involves my two favorite things: Breasts and making fun of people who think events in The Bible actually happened.

When I was about five or six, my uncle was staying at my grandparents’ house while on leave from the Marines and liked to play such hilarious jokes as telling me He-Man stopped by and gave him things like a digital clock for his car or some odd, random trinket which I, of course, believed the shit out of. One day, he told me he saw He-Man coming out of the woods near my grandfather’s shed, so naturally I sat outside all afternoon with my little brother waiting for a chance to see a naked man in fur underwear emerge from the trees brandishing gifts (Nothing odd there.) while my uncle got to watch baseball without my grandmother making him put cartoons on. This TMZ story is a lot like that except it ends with former Baywatch star Donna D’Errico falling off a mountain and breaking her face:

Former “Baywatch” babe Donna D’Errico is recovering from some painful face injuries she suffered during an expedition to find Noah’s Ark in Turkey.
D’Errico just released some photos … in which the actress appears to be sporting multiple cuts and bruises around her mouth and cheek … and a laceration on her leg.

All jokes aside and ignoring the fact, which most Christians don’t know/bother to research, biblical-based archaeology has historically been a massive money-making fraud that has done nothing to prove the events of The Bible (Ironically, it’s mostly done the contrary) and any evidence that has been found has consistently turned out to be a hoax, I’m actually going to give Donna D’Errico a pass on thinking highly-trained scholars didn’t look hard enough for centuries, and here’s why: Have you ever had a woman ask you to find something only to walk past it 27 times until she eventually comes into the room and spots it in two seconds? This could’ve been one of those times. “Jesus Christ, you guys, it’s right here in this cave! Were you even looking?!”

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Chief Wiggum

    One of the Baywatch actresses turned out to be a complete dumbass in reality? Say it ain’t so!

    • BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

      How do you know she wasn’t there as a scientist? Well, ok, she’d need hair under her arms, a polo neck and a thick pair of glasses, but how can you be sure?

  2. TheArtimus

    I’d offer to screw her brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.

  3. USDA Prime McBeef

    Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5PtSJEfajw

    LMFAO

  4. EricLr

    Hey girl, I’ve got a piece of the true cross. But it can only be seen by a follower with a strong enough faith to put their mouth on my penis. You do have faith in Jesus, right?

    • Che Fong

      You need to show her the tool of eternal salvation

    • Stuart Goldbloom

      I would like to fall off of her mountains after a mutually satisfying sexual experience that both of us would remember . Or at least I would get off and get to brag about it to all of my friends , complete with cell phone pictures and videos.

  5. Exit Only Out the Rear

    This is how this bitch is spending Nikki’s alimony money??!!!

  6. Noah’s Ark. LOL.

    What a maroon.

    • kelly

      I remember hearing the story of Noah’s Ark in pre-school, and thinking “what a bunch of b.s.”. I’d been to the zoo, and realized it took 10 acres to hold a small collection of mammals and reptiles, much less the entire animal kingdom.

      Kelly

  7. your mom

    we don’t get to see pics of the damage? jerk.

  8. Her nostrils are so narrow she must use a Buck knife to pick her nose.

  9. Zambonie

    If you believe anything in the fucking bible actually happened, you’re a dipshit.
    It’s Harry Potter for adults.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      Sadly, Harry Potter is also for adults as 8th grade reading level is the apex for most.

      • lori

        Exactly. When a grown adult tells me they love Harry Potter books and how good they are, I immediately think to myself, “I wonder if they finished high school…” Seriously, that’s some boring, shallow shit.

      • Burt

        I know what you mean. I’m convinced my IQ dropped a few points because I read the DaVinci Code. I’m still tempted to send a bill to Dan Brown’s publisher asking they reimburse me all the money I spent in tuition at university.

      • miss no manners

        You guys are hilarious, being absolutely pretentious about your reading material while posting comments on the Superficial! Oh the irony.

    • Jake

      At least Harry Potter tells a coherent story line. God is all over the place in the Bible – nice guy, bad ass, all powerful, jealous and petty little punk, sexist, ignorant of basic principles of science, and pervy.

      • Of course, just like the Moral Majority!

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        The sexist, ignorant, and pervy stuff hold true thru most of it.

      • C de Burque

        Wow.. Fish, your comments and many others are just fucked up ignorant BS. Like kids talking shit in class before the teacher shows up. Science hasn’t proven anything, they are called theories. That’s why every generation the old ones are changed. But we humans know everything now thanks to science! STFU faithless bags of meat

      • cassandra o'troy

        A scientific theory is “a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world, based on a body of facts that have been repeatedly confirmed through observation and experiment.”

  10. Ding Dongs & Ho Ho's

    Go, Donna!

  11. Actually it looks like someone got tired of her cock-teasing and hauled off and smacked her!

  12. The Right

    The Superficial, bringing the tolerance and civility that the Huffington Post lacks.

  13. “All jokes aside and ignoring the fact,…”
    What “fact”? I see no “facts” here at all.
    ” which most Christians don’t know/bother to research” – should have been prefaced with “I purely speculate…”
    “biblical-based archaeology has historically been a massive money-making fraud that has done nothing to prove the events of The Bible (Ironically, it’s mostly done the contrary) and any evidence that has been found has consistently turned out to be a hoax.”
    Citations needed, seriously, for such an outlandish claim. How about a single example, or even some speculation about a non-existent rumor? How about anything at all other than a blanket statement of pure bullshit backed up by nothing at all?
    You really sound like a republican politician presenting things he dreamed up as facts and expecting people to believe it just because he said it.
    No cult proselytizes on the net more fervently or with less backing than the God-damned atheists.
    Atheists: bringing the word “asshole” to the HNL*.
    *HNL: “hole.nubba.level.”
    BTW. eventually, the streets really will run red with the blood of the nonbelievers.
    Bitch.

    • “BTW. eventually, the streets really will run red with the blood of the nonbelievers.
      Bitch.”

      Lemme guess – you’re a Muslim, right?

      • Not bloody likely. And since you’re (t)rolling under Harry Houdini’s real name, pretty tacky, too.

      • Holy crap I can’t believe you cracked my code. I truly never expected to be so quickly outed as a non-actual Buddhist with a pseudonym – on the internet, of all places – and so humbled by such a towering intellect, all in the same day. Touche!
        Though my last vestige of dignity teeters on the brink of annihilation, I feel my final recourse is to point out, with all – and I do mean ALL – due respect, that I think you mean “(t)act-y”, ‘cuz of all the tact I’ve shown.
        You are most welcome, good sir. Well played.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        real buddhists don’t call people bitch and post typographic middle fingers.

        just sayin’

        bitch.

      • Erik Weisz

        Thanks, Captain obvious.
        Now go kill someone else’s buzz, moron.

      • duder

        Also, one of the Buddhist precepts is to strive toward Right Speech, rather than being ruled by anger and hatred in our speech. Hence, we don’t talk about the streets running red with blood very often. Not too many ascii middle fingers, either.

      • Wow, I guess if I have to fucking explain the fucking joke….
        :facepalm:
        My whole “hands of an angry God” bit is not going to go over well here at all.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        oh didn’t see your post duder *high five*

        Erik is one of those trendy buddhists. like it’s cool. Trendy.

        “Hey brah, i’m gonna go meditate for a while, yeah, brah, I’m buddhist now”

      • Erik Weisz

        Just . . . . I don’t know . . . . fuck off or something.
        Some people are too fuck’n stoopid to live.
        You have been identified as one of those people.

      • It seems Eric very quickly forgot to use his words. Well, other than the deathless (but ultimately unimaginative) “your mother”. While he appears to think he’s dripping big-boy sarcasm and showed us, the fact is that Houdini didn’t waste his time depantsing bugs, so don’t waste yours, either.

      • Just to be as c.l.e.a.r. as fucking possible, I am not actually a Buddhist. That was what we call a (really, really obvious) joke that has now been explained three times – to people claiming to actually be BUDDHISTS!
        I realize this is a titty and dick-joke site, but ZOMGHOLYFUCKINGSHITWTFBBQ you people are fucking stupid.

      • “I think you mean “(t)act-y”, ‘cuz of all the tact I’ve shown” =
        1) Atheists: bringing the word “asshole” to the HNL*.
        *HNL: “hole.nubba.level.”
        2) BTW. eventually, the streets really will run red with the blood of the nonbelievers.
        3) Bitch.
        4) ZOMGHOLYFUCKINGSHITWTFBBQ you people are fucking stupid.

        See, Eric made a funny about how “tacky” sounds like “(t)act-y”. Wasn’t that cute? Even without the utter lack of any wordplay between “tacty” and “acty”, so that the mimicked (t) effect fell flat, it was about as effective as the sarcasm behind the Buddhist retort. But since Eric Is Always Right And The Rest Of The World Still Doesn’t Get It, the struggle for the rest of us to keep moving backward to catch up with him continues.

      • I didn’t say anything about the rest of the world keeping up, I’m pretty much specifically referring to you, asshat.
        I’m saying you’re slow. And you suck.
        Look those words up if you need to. I’ll wait.

      • Erik Weisz

        Hey Eric RU spartacuskhan and SPG? That eric?

      • Erik Weisz

        popcorn? or its 50 hitlers.
        ]–[

      • Erik Weisz

        Listen, “justifiable” –
        When someone told you you were clever or witty, that someone was your mom, and she was very, very wrong.

      • Erik Weisz

        @Harlock
        I know! This is effing hilarious. Eric put the smack-down on the OP to begin with, and now these children trying to come up on him – I’m laughin so hard I’m gonna lose my lunch. Its like watching babies get tossed around in a washing machine. (not like I’d know about that, but get what I mean). Anyway, Mucho lulz Eric!

      • Eric's Fourth Online Alias

        Am I too late to pile on?

      • Nope. We party all night round here.

      • Erik Weisz

        lol!
        awesome.

    • kls

      Hey Tim Tebow, get fucked and GTFO. You’re missing the whole premise of this page, and that’s ruining my good time. Asshole.

      • …………………./´¯/)
        ………………..,/¯../
        ………………./…./
        …………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸
        ………./’/…/…./……./¨¯\
        ……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
        ………\……………..’…../
        ……….”…\………. _.·´
        …………\…………..(
        …………..\………….\…
        The premise of this page is your mom.

    • duder

      Serious, unbiased scholars don’t take the bible seriously as a literal text. It’s just not. It has some historical elements that are very informative, much like The Iliad. It records various religious experiences that some find meaningful. But it was never meant to be a literal text, even by the authors. Some circles of scholars have known that for hundreds of years. I’m not going to bother to cite the libraries of books that demonstrate this, but a bare minimum of effort on your part will turn these things up. You can start with Karen Armstrong or Richard Elliott Friedman for a good blend of pop history and biblical scholarship: these are readable texts, yet reasonably reputable with good citations. I’m not arguing; just presenting facts dispassionately: what I say is true whether you want it to be or not. If you are afraid to admit that, then that’s on you. But if you’d like to get with the times, those authors will give you a very basic starting point.

      • Dedeski
        No one said anything about unbiased scholars or literal text or anything at all relative to your TL/DR soapbox rant, I merely disputed the the original statement rather specifically and pointed out the obvious hypocrisy of such unattributed blanket statements for the republitard-like bullshit that they are.
        But hey, I can always counter with a list of accredited scholars who have written the multitude of articles for Biblical Archaeological Review over these many years to give YOU an even more basic starting point for the very first baby-steps of your long journey towards becoming someone much more like a knowledgeable person. You know, if you like.
        Good luck with that, anyway.

    • kimmykimkim

      Jesus fucking Christ, people. I bet this thread would be hilarious if I actually gave enough of a shit to read it.

      • I’ve read most of it, kimmy. You’re not missing much.

      • Hold on, kimmers – the best part is that “Erik Weisz” posted as three other entities, one of which was named “Harlock”, and used them to compliment himself for putting a “smackdown” out, and to ask himself probing questions about how he came to be so cool. And then each of those sockpuppets high-fived the others for their sagacity in recognizing Erik’s superior wit and mad posting skillz and told themselves how much they all loved his work.

        And then, lo and behold, all the fake IDs are now stripped away – and they are somehow revealed to be Eric Weisz! If you want a laugh, you can see Not-So Undercover Erik responding to “@ Harlock”, who isn’t there – since Harlock is, of course, himself.

        Looks like the Fish will out you if you dick around and persist in being a dickish dicksmack.

        Say “goodnight”, Erik – I think you’re pretty much done for this evening.

      • My favorite part was where Erik said “Eric [sic] put the smack-down on the OP”—and of course, the OP was Erik.

      • I think Erik thinks the “OP” is Fish.

        There are many, many things that Erik does not know.

      • kimmykimkim

        Hahaha! Ok, that shit IS pretty funny.

    • Burt

      The burden of proof lies on the one who claims something exists, not on the one who claims it doesn’t.

      So, what’s the evidence you have that the Bible isn’t an allegory with a few geographical and historical references thrown in to make it relevant to the intended audience (ancient people who knew less about the world and science than grade school kids today)?

    • “BTW. eventually, the streets really will run red with the blood of the nonbelievers.
      Bitch.”

      Well that’s just creepy and unfriendly! Wait, you’re a Juggalo aren’t you? Now I get it.

  14. James

    I am an avowed atheist, and even I know your comments on biblical archaeology are completely off base. I enjoy your comedy, but not when it is embarrassingly inaccurate.

    • kelly

      I’m an avowed atheist, and I agree that many of claims of biblical archaeology confirmation in fact has proven to be wildly flawed and , in some instance, intentionally misleading for purposes of driving Bible tourism.

    • kls

      Yes, because the guy who speculates that Gwen Stefani is preggers every other week is expected to be completely accurate and on-base with every statement. WTF is wrong with people today? Do you not understand where the fuck you are?

  15. Donna D'Errico
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. But at the same time, I just have this feeling that she doesn’t look like this anymore. Like, maybe, the complete opposite of this.

  16. You don’t know what you’re talking about! The Events and locations listed in the Bible are very real and many easily confirmed. You can’t use Celebrity stupidity as a platform for making the Bible look like a Thousands-of-years-old Scam!

    Maybe if people crack open their History books (and Bibles) and read them instead of hollowing them out to hide your Stash, you’d learn something…

    • kelly

      Nice try, troll. Reading the Bible doesn’t confirm the Bible, dummy. And unless your history book came from a homeschool publisher, who also teach that man partied with dinosaurs, you will realize the Bible is full of wild inaccuracies and a terrible understanding of world geography and history.

    • kls

      Hey Romney, go suck a dick.

    • duder

      I actually spent much of my undergraduate and graduate career cracking those books looking for the truth of it all, as you suggest, wanting desperately to prove my faith factually and historically. I could not do so. The evidence doesn’t support that reading of the text. So, thanks for the advice. It actually worked out really well for me.

    • I dunno, I particularly liked the part when Joshua’s prayers were answered and the sun stood still in the sky until he’d won his victory.

      Of course, since the ancient Judeans didn’t realize the solar system is heliocetric and the sun doesn’t move around the Earth, that effect could only be obtained by the Earth’s ceasing to rotate until all of Joshua’s enemies were vanquished. Of course, anything not anchored to bedrock, i.e rocks, soil, water, trees, buildings, people and animals would keep moving at approximately 1100 mph, taking a sideways trajectory off the face of the earth. The escape velocity of Earth is about 25,000 mph, so that isn’t enough to make everything off into space; but the oceans sloshing sideways at that speed would surely leave some evidence, amirite? The Earth’s magnetic field, a byproduct of rotation, would also cease to exist, so that solar flares would scorch the earth and boil the seas – whatever wasn’t flying around, that is.

      Of course, this is obviously very real and easily confirmed, right?

      FYI, f you’re going to accuse someone of smoking shit, consider going back to the Babylonian Captivity. If Genesis and a great deal more isn’t the result of some very primo Mesopotamian weed, I don’t know what the fuck is.

      • Justi, isn’t there something also about archaeologists discovering that many/most/all of the kingdoms Joshua was supposed to have conquered either didn’t exist in the Bible’s time frame, or show no archaeological evidence of having ever been besieged? You know more about this stuff than I do.

      • Yes, Tom, you’re right. Actually, it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for “the good land.” Bible minimalists have discovered that the kingdoms Joshua supposedly conquered did not exist during the old testament’s time frame.

      • I had to look up that joke. Wow, that movie was so completely forgettable.

      • We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!

        Fuck, that was perfect.

        Bible historians are always pointing to the fact that for centuries the only mention of the Hittite Empire was in the Bible, and when it was discovered in the mid-19th C to have actually existed, they used that kernel as a vindication that the rest of the scriptures must all be true, too. Shitty scholarship, IMHO, but their compelling need is, after all, to prove a lot of supernatural occurances so you grab what you can, I guess.

        I started out studying Egyptology, so I come at the history from a slightly different perspective. When Rameses III conquered Canaan around 1270 BC, bout 110 years after Joshua supposedly conquered it with his Israelites, nowhere in the list of the tribes Ramses vanquished was the “mighty nation” that the Bible tells us was there. Um. That’s because Jerusalem was not the glorious capital of an empire created by Biblical patriarchs. Sorry, but the Israelites were too insignificant to even get a mention for taxation purposes, and since the Egyptians were fucking fiends for tribute, that should tell you a great deal..

        To answer your question – no. Joshua’s supposed conquest of Canaan isn’t supported by any archaeological evidence. Jericho, where the Israelites launched their campaign of conquest after repentantly wandering in the desert for forty years, is a flat-out myth – and no one with any sort of professional reputation clings to it any more. By the 14thC BC, Jericho was mostly deserted; and there were no standing walls for Joshua to bring down. Other cities supposedly conquered by him in were destroyed long before he showed up. Arad and Ai were already ruins 1,000 years before he was was born.

        It doesn’t get any truer later on in the game, either. The Davidic Empire, which was once thought to be as historic and established as the Roman one, is now seen as a purely nationalistic PR myth created entirely by a sect of 8thC priests.

    • Burt

      Right, so you’re saying the scifi TV show Falling Skies isn’t fiction but actually a documentary because it’s set in Massachusetts, which exists. Run for your lives, the Skitters are gonna get you!

  17. Che Fong

    So big breasts don’t mean big brains ? Man , I have been really wrong all these years

  18. Inner Retard

    Why couldn’t she just do porn?! The world would have been a better place and she could have maintained her dignity.

  19. anticon

    Will Eric Weisz or James like to back up there claims, I for one would love to read some real archaeological evidence that proves the validity of biblical stories like noahs ark etc?

    • 00nil (a.k.a. Erik Weisz)

      Maybe you should read the post or, I dunno, wikipedia? Biblical Archaeology Review magazine ain’t that hard to find.
      Much of the Bible, like place-names, etc. is literal and provable history. Ever heard of, um Egypt? How about Jerusalem? Not ringin’ a bell? Babylon, maybe?

      • “Place names” are not “historical events”.

        I realize that this hard to accept – that the mention of Palmyra, NY in the salamander letter is proof positive that Joseph Smth really saw a magical newt, and that conflating “Egypt” with “Pillar of Fire” is a totes natural occurance and happens to everyone all the time. But if you make an effort you really can keep the anecdotal and supernatural events separate from the actual physical geography, and realize that the existence of one still doesn’t do anything to prove the other.

      • “No one” said “they were”.
        You haven’t realized fuck-all, so stop with the pathetic straw-man arguments and quit being an asshole. You’re accusing people of saying things they are not saying to make an argument against a statement that hasn’t been made. Go back to your street corner and scream nonsense at the people who don’t want to hear it either – at least they’re used to it and can knock you on your ass.

      • “Much of the Bible, like place-names, etc. is literal and provable history.” – Erik Weisz, Using Yet Another Not So Super-Secret Undercover Identity

        Since Eric clearly stated that “place names” were “literal and proven history”, bite me. Or else get change your tampon and find someone who can fucking reason to support your tenuous and hysterical hissy fit, but don’t blame me if the fact that Egypt’s on the map doesn’t automatically prove that Moses ever walked. Also, look up “straw man argument” – when Erik’s posting it seems no one needs to bring one. Just as it appears that you’re the one who doesn’t want to hear anything to the contrary.

        And in future, nimrod, if you use quotation marks, it helps if you actually use them to fucking quote something. “No one” said “they were” is just fucking pathetic.

      • Burt

        Just because the Bible refers to a few places doesn’t mean that it should be taken literally. Just look at any work of fiction. It’s called setting. Makes the story feel closer to the reader.

      • Did you have a point?
        Didn’t think so.
        Go kill someone else’s buzz.

      • “Go kill someone else’s buzz.” – Marcab Confederacy

        “Thanks, Captain obvious.
        Now go kill someone else’s buzz, moron” – Erik Weisz, posting as Harlock, prior to being outed.

        Ah, I do believe Erik has created yet another sockpuppet to help him hide himself, and to explain himself, and to support himself, and to high-five himself. Given the illogical and ignorant shit Erik comes out with, God knows he needs that PR team. Too bad the socks will be just as incoherent and unimaginative as he is, but watching him trip all over them is somewhat amusing.

  20. Dan Quayle

    Jesus silicon want lard

  21. I believe she was just looking for her career in Turkey, when she almost found it and a small orphan did “us” a favor and nudge her off a big hill.

  22. Billy Barty, Jr

    Stephen Hawking has been working on the hypothesis thta big breasts are indicative of large brains. I understand he is looking for volunteers for testing

  23. ssaawwr

    What a sexy mole on her armpit

  24. Donna D'Errico
    Big Rick
    Commented on this photo:

    She would look so much better without the big hard plastic looki n fake breasts, i think boob jobs are such a joke, and i love breasts, big ones, small ones medium ones are all great, as long as there real, just the fact that women feel they have to get fake boobs says so much about society and how messed up it is, for instance you have this girl up here whose clearly smoking hot and and has all the things that would make so many people sooo happy and yet she wakes up one mourning and looks in the mirror and thinks to herself, maybe they would hire me for more jobs and me would like me more if i had a doctor cut me open and stick some jelly sacks in my tits, i mean come on now, i say looking for the real Noahs Ark is probably the 2nd dumbest thing that i know of her doing, poor little shallow empty lonely rich girl.

  25. Donna D'Errico
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    I am just sad she does not look like this anymore.

  26. Archie Leach

    If murcan english was good enough for jesus, then dammit it’s good enough for everyone else!

  27. Ruth

    Ha. My family would pull the same junk on me. Except instead of sitting waiting for a cartoon hero give me gifts, I proudly proclaimed such happenings at school. Yup, I was real popular.

  28. Donna D'Errico
    Beaver Underground
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the arrogant bitch who would punch you in the face despite wearing a bikini that barely covers the top of her nipples.

  29. Donna D'Errico
    Beaver Underground
    Commented on this photo:

    Dry humping a dog?! Maybe it’s better she didn’t find Noah’s Ark.

  30. Donna D'Errico
    LegMan
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m all in with 2 pair.

  31. Donna D'Errico
    O'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    “So this is what cum tastes like. Ewwww!” -Donna

  32. Religious clowns are hilarious. You actually believe that one person was able to biuld a boat big enough to house every animal on the Earth and keep them from killing each other once they get on board.

    The Bible is a collection of folk tales and glorified war stories. Moraliity tales. a guide to tell the ignorant masses how they should live their lives. We’re not so ignorant anymore. We know a lot more than they ever did. Time to relegate the fairy tales to children’s imaginations and move on.

    • Lu

      I find it humorous that you do not even know that Noah was not the only one who worked on the ark. Atheists…my source of entertainment. And I’m rarely on this site so don’t expect a response to whatever horsehockey you respond with, if any at all.

      • Ridiculous. Noah’s three sons helped him! So of course, if that’s taken into account, an ark containing all the animals, bird and beast, that exist in world now (since God wouldn’t be creating more in future, hence the reason for the ark in the first place), as well as all the the ones who’ve become extinct in the interim (although how God could allow that to happen is odd, but I digress) – 7 of the clean ones, 2 of the unclean ones – the whole thing is totes possible. You have to take those extra hands into account, right along with the fact that Noah was 500 fucking years old. It should be noted that it took all four of them 100 years to construct it, since Noah was 600 when the flooding started. Since each of the boys were married, as was thier father, that’s 8 worker bees in total – although we don’t exactly know how much the wives slacked off during that century, if at all.

        Really, you’re quite right, we need to have the whole story before us before anyone should comment, otherwise any conclusion we come to is just going to be a silly one. OTOH, it’ll be really, really entertaining to the discerning believers like you who insist on the facts.

  33. So she gets up to the top of Ararat, works her way through some bushes untouched for millennia, and a little ways in the distance, there it is. Under a few branches, covered in moss, a bit moldy but really none the worse for wear: Noah’s Ark. John Williams music wells in the background. She falls to her knees in joy and reverence, her Faith given substance.

    Does she ever, even at this point, stop and think: how in the hell did all those animals fit inside something so small?

  34. Schmidtler

    Sure, Leonard Nimoy goes looking for Noah’s Ark, and he’s every nerd boy’s hero – This broad goes looking for it, and all you do is mock her. I think y’all are just jelly of her hot jugs!

  35. Pat C.

    Didn’t Heinrich Schliemann prove that Apollo, Aphrodite, Ares and Zeus were real? We’ve neglected them for far too long – they’re getting pissed and the streets will run red with blood.

  36. Donna D'Errico
    Tati
    Commented on this photo:

    omg, his clip-on cell phone really dates this picture. Amongst other things…

  37. NoOneCaresWhatYouBelieveWriter

    Stick to crass article writing and keep your anti-religious views to yourself.

    • Shouldn’t you go flagellate yourself and repent for having read this crass website? Hypocrites don’t go to heaven. Nyah.

      • “Stick to crass article writing and keep your anti-religious views to yourself” = I’m here for the tits and ass but I claim to be devout, so when I’m being hypocritical and tell myself I’m here reading the “crass articles”, don’t you dare make me think about God watching me jerk off to the tits and ass.

        Also, I have no free will, so rather than change a channel or stay away from a site that offends or annoys me, I will insist that every TV show and site tailor its programming and content to only show what I, personally, appove of. That’s because I’m not anti-religious, so I’m in the best position to know what God wants everyone to see and read.

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