Donna D’Errico Fell Off A Mountain Trying To Find Noah’s Ark. No, Really.

Full Disclosure: I’ve been waiting all day to write this post because it involves my two favorite things: Breasts and making fun of people who think events in The Bible actually happened.

When I was about five or six, my uncle was staying at my grandparents’ house while on leave from the Marines and liked to play such hilarious jokes as telling me He-Man stopped by and gave him things like a digital clock for his car or some odd, random trinket which I, of course, believed the shit out of. One day, he told me he saw He-Man coming out of the woods near my grandfather’s shed, so naturally I sat outside all afternoon with my little brother waiting for a chance to see a naked man in fur underwear emerge from the trees brandishing gifts (Nothing odd there.) while my uncle got to watch baseball without my grandmother making him put cartoons on. This TMZ story is a lot like that except it ends with former Baywatch star Donna D’Errico falling off a mountain and breaking her face:

Former “Baywatch” babe Donna D’Errico is recovering from some painful face injuries she suffered during an expedition to find Noah’s Ark in Turkey.
D’Errico just released some photos … in which the actress appears to be sporting multiple cuts and bruises around her mouth and cheek … and a laceration on her leg.

All jokes aside and ignoring the fact, which most Christians don’t know/bother to research, biblical-based archaeology has historically been a massive money-making fraud that has done nothing to prove the events of The Bible (Ironically, it’s mostly done the contrary) and any evidence that has been found has consistently turned out to be a hoax, I’m actually going to give Donna D’Errico a pass on thinking highly-trained scholars didn’t look hard enough for centuries, and here’s why: Have you ever had a woman ask you to find something only to walk past it 27 times until she eventually comes into the room and spots it in two seconds? This could’ve been one of those times. “Jesus Christ, you guys, it’s right here in this cave! Were you even looking?!”

Photos: Getty