I will never get an erection again.

January 24th, 2010 // 265 Comments

Here’s a topless Donatella Versace in St. Barth’s yesterday and I don’t know how the hell the paparazzi knew this was her let alone a live human being. Seriously, it looks like someone pulled Pamela Anderson out of the sun’s core then told her sunscreen would help. “No, really, it doesn’t look that bad. Coppertone?”

Pics link to NSFW versions.

UPDATE: Turns out this isn’t Donatella Versace, but an Italian countess often mistaken for her by the paparazzi, according to Gawker. I don’t want to alarm anybody, but this means there’s now TWO Bacon Monster with Implants out there. I’ll be under my bed.

Photos: Flynet

  1. bob


    for once, you’ve got me. and i really wish you did not.

  2. maxcovill

    its meltinggggggggggg

  3. datroof

    Why even bother with the sunblock at this point…

  4. jim eh

    Did anyone say CANCER?

  5. shankyouverymuch

    I’d really be very interested to see a picture of her as a teenager or in her 20′s, 30′s. I’d like to see what see looked like before the “mutation” took place….

  6. datroof

    lulz @ 13, was thinking about the gollum lookalike potential too

    Too bad Peter Jackson didn’t see these pics before spending all that money on that expensive cgi for Gollum. Could of probably just camcordered her stumbling around the beach and spliced in the footage, with no one the wiser.

  7. Lisa

    Yummy! Roast chicken and spuds.

  8. Slim Jim

    Great, now I have a craving for beef jerky.

  9. sharon H

    She was always a seriously ugly woman, but the fake boobs on the skeleton, baked skeleton body are just the worst. Now, in clothes, her body looks fine which just goes to prove that stick skinny does not mean healthy or sexy. Holy shit baking in a sandwich! Just WOW.

  10. Slim Jim

    Great, now I have a craving for beef jerky.

  11. havoc

    I’m pretty sure her vagina blows dust every hour on the hour….like Old Faithful.


  12. This person is emaciated. You can see her ribs. Very sad. My Mum was that thin before she passed from PAN creat ic CA.

  13. ritaa

    LOLOLOLOL looks like a fake barbie.

    ps thats nasty as fuck!

  14. Boo you

    That’s disgusting! The sun=bad. She is sooo damn gross.

  15. opposite day!

    she’s too white and too fat!

  16. Tony Tool

    Sucks to get old. Don’t it.

    Remember that will be all of us someday. ” Less the inplants I hope”

    That is if your lucky !. or if you call that luck ?

    It’s better then being death !?!

    I would stay dressed if i was her. I am sure she could afford a backyard with a pool.Oh and people she can pay to watch her naked.

    Ok I defended her enough.


  17. Would Donatella really wear a bikini? Whoever this is, well, they have some mental illness.

  18. Chris from Maine

    I will never be able to un-see this.

    They should show this picture to guys who have an erection for more then 4 hours on viagra.. it will cure that problem in about 5 seconds.

    She looks like that mummy that they found after like 5,000 years frozen in the arctic.

  19. Jenny

    Bless her, I guess it is true what they say, “You can never be too rich or too thin.”

  20. jessica

    that looks so painful

  21. Bacon Wrapped


  22. unbeliever

    Reminds me of Kramer when he buttered himself up and got a crispy tan – except less sexy and less funny.

  23. legosaurus

    there’s a little kid there! terrorism!

  24. Supascoopa

    Please take this down from the front page, i just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

  25. theT

    Ok…was I the only one that thought this was Rachel Zoe at first?

  26. Dank24

    This would confuse the shit out of those PETA douchebags.

    “I’d rather go naked than….”

    “HOLY SHT! Is that Leather? Animal killer!”

  27. suzi

    heidi montag in 40 years, ladies and gentlemen…

  28. CCQ

    Anyone remember that a while back some reaserchers found “Otzi the Iceman”? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%96tzi_the_Iceman).
    Well now, Otzi love, we may have just found you a wife !

  29. Kitty Furry

    not donatella…just google her and see the pics side by side

  30. shellibelli

    #21 you are right! it is not Donetella
    I remember they photoed some 70 year leather faced hack then as well.
    You can tell its not her, she is missing that greek bump in her nose,and well,
    she isnt THAT bad yet………

  31. Looks like a Jersey Shore reunion show.

  32. DirkMcGirk

    do the words “chocolate mudslide” come to anyone else’s mind too ?

  33. sdfsdfds

    Lindsay Lohan will look like this in a couple years,.

  34. jrski

    Just because you have these pictures does not mean you HAVE to post them. Because you know I am going to look. I hate my eyes.

  35. pizazzidazzle

    Thanks, that imagine is forever burned in my retina, where’s the blowtorch when you need it

  36. missydong

    It’s gollum.

  37. Superfish FTW!!

    these photos are going to bring sooo much traffic to your site…I salute you superfish!!

  38. That’s beyond creepy.

  39. Modwild

    Holy shit – she’s only 54 years old. She looks like she’s about 85. What on earth is she thinking? First, gain some weight. Second, wear appropriate clothing. Third, get checked for melanoma. Wow.

  40. ing

    paparazzi dude still taking pics of this woman in st barths and claiming its donatella.
    dont anyone tell him.

  41. juaquin ingles

    I accidentally opened the NSFW at work… I’m pretty sure my co-workers thought I was looking at home furnishings though.

  42. redsonja1313

    she has tons of money… why wouldn’t she at least fix the horrible bolt on boob job which is rippling on the top besides being placed too far apart. and really does she look in the mirror and say hmmmm I think I need a little more color WTF !!

  43. light_cocoa

    it’s NOT DonaT bunch of losers!

  44. LALALA

    THIS IS NOT DONATELLA VERSACE! This site has done this b4 too…. like do you honestly think that Ms.Versace would be caught dead on a public beach LOL??? She may not have made the greatest decisions with her appearance but the woman still has class! She’d NEVER be seen topless like this COME ON! Verify these pics b4 you post them!

  45. soahc

    100 bucks and I’d fuck her. 100 thousand to lick her clit.

  46. sahara

    she makes me feel so sexy :D

    best superficial post ever

  47. JFLIP

    I’d hit that….but no kissing

  48. bell

    WHAT!!Seriously!??Is that real???

    I literally want to cry right now.

    My skin hurts just looking at it..

  49. MEl

    How much do you want to bet shes just a walking skin cancer cell?

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