I will never get an erection again.

January 24th, 2010 // 265 Comments

Here’s a topless Donatella Versace in St. Barth’s yesterday and I don’t know how the hell the paparazzi knew this was her let alone a live human being. Seriously, it looks like someone pulled Pamela Anderson out of the sun’s core then told her sunscreen would help. “No, really, it doesn’t look that bad. Coppertone?”

Pics link to NSFW versions.

UPDATE: Turns out this isn’t Donatella Versace, but an Italian countess often mistaken for her by the paparazzi, according to Gawker. I don’t want to alarm anybody, but this means there’s now TWO Bacon Monster with Implants out there. I’ll be under my bed.

Photos: Flynet

  1. a bit hot outside for leather, isn’t it?

  2. jenipurrr

    I was trying to figure out why there were no comments on this photo spread and then I realized that I’m the only person didn’t kill themselves immediately after viewing the horrid stills. My eyeballs are beginning to bleed of their own accord.

  3. Ricky

    I actually feel sorry for her. She looks like skin cancer in human form. She should lay off the sun. Like forever.

  4. claudia


  5. I’m surprised her implants haven’t melted yet.

  6. JJ Daddy-O

    … and I would’ve thought that she was too young to have been sent to Auschwitz…

  7. sam


  8. Iceweazle

    I just ripped my eyes from my head and went outside and buried them!

  9. kingofbeer

    OMFG!!!! GET OUT OF THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    EAT SOME FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    COVER YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!11


  10. Frank

    Blast it with piss!!!

  11. amanda

    foul, just foul

  12. dawn

    And this is Fashion taste-maker?

  13. Bong

    She really looks like Gullum… if he lived in the Miami instead of a cave.

  14. whatever

    and you wonder why your daughter has an eating disorder…

    and fuck, woman, with all your money can’t you find a surgeon to fix your tits?

  15. ashleigh

    Lindsay? Is that you?

  16. Haywood Jablowmie

    I’d hit that. On a dare.

  17. Walter

    I suddenly have a desire for a baked potato.

  18. Bebe

    Ayayayayayayayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!! Heidi… this is your preview…..

  19. fonzeyfu

    Aren’t those implants fetching in old age.

  20. lol

    looks like lindsay stepped in her coke.

  21. Sandra


    This isn’t Donatella Versace. The same thing happened last year where everyone thought it was her, but it’s not.

    X17online had to correct themselves.


  22. Nameless

    Hell yeah!! Tara Reid is looking hot!

  23. J to the 3rd power

    That’s not her. The nose is wrong. But that woman looks like the things nightmares are made of.

  24. wildelk27

    OH…DEAR…GOD!!!! I always wondered what fake boobs would look like on an old lady. Now I know. Wish I didn’t.

  25. j

    I always wondered who played Pumpkin Head,,, I wish people could say this was Photoshoped but what demonic person would have such an imagination.


    I’d fuck that, and love it.

  27. Nicki C

    She looks like she belongs in the deli at Albertson’s grocery store. Think when her body is done decomposing her implants will still be perky?

  28. Digitalvampire

    It’s the Crypt Keeper on vacation.

  29. Goddess

    I guess that is photoshop because it is not possible that a 55 year old person looks like that, even a regular person looks much younger. This is the body of 75 year old woman.

  30. yea

    id fuck her

  31. awesomesauce

    It almost looks like she’s trying to mock burn victims with her face.

  32. I just gouged out my eyes, chopped off my penis, doused myself in bleach and then jumped off the roof of a 3-story building.

    This orange, leathery, plastic-titted, duck-lipped, chain-smoking sack of shit is the most hideous ogre walking the face of the planet.

    Don’t even get me started on her fucking freckles & her mottled forehead….

  33. DG

    I would hit it, and brag about it to my friends.

  34. dancy

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  35. dancy

    I am not sure about this. Recently, I came across a hot bbw dating cite.^^^^PlusFlirt____ CooM^^^^..nice and free place for BBWs and handsome men to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends. OO…….

  36. Rough's goodwill tour

    Id rather give it to Britney Murphy…

  37. Hetero Femme

    please stop posting such stunning nude women, a lot of females reading this site are going to get very insecure about themselves

  38. Help

    I thought Heidi said she was done for now?!? Did she put herself on broil?

  39. pixi kyll

    isnt this REALLY a pic of madonna in her early years?

  40. I’ve seen corpses at the funeral home like this. Old leather ladies with their fake titties sticking straight up. Actually, I take that back. Most of them look better than this.

  41. name


  42. me again


  43. magda

    this is not Donatella

  44. Ein

    Mr.Superficial Writer, tear down this picture!

  45. Jamey

    lindsay lohan in 20 years.

  46. thedevilbakesmecookies

    I don’t know if this is Donatella, but one of the first rules of having extra skin is you don’t show it. I have seen worse. LOL It’s no big deal to me (I don’t care if she shows it or not), but that’s not what people lust over, unless they are those weird people who like to f*ck grandmas.

  47. YUMMY!!!

    Am I the only one actually turned on by this?

  48. BEK

    Interestingly, she has nice hands.Shame bout the rest !

  49. Duke Steele

    How do you spell that sound you make when you puke???

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