Donatella Versace in a bikini = Adios, future erections!

December 30th, 2008 // 156 Comments

Here’s renowned fashion designer Donatella Versace on the beach at St. Barts and doing a damn fine job of trying to make me bleed from the eyes. On that note, someone needs to tell Donatella Schindler’s List is a movie, not a fashion statement because, no joke, this woman’s only 53. Until I looked it up, I would’ve sworn her age was beef jerky.

Photos: Flynet

  1. LindaLou

    Im looking at pics of Donatella in another window, including bikini pictures. Every picture shows her with curves. Unless she lost considerable weight in the last few months this woman is not her.

  2. Guest

    Yes it’s her.
    Get over it.


    #88 or 74…. you do realize that Donatella is Italian right??? Land of the olive skinned??? and you do realize that most people consider olive skinned people to be white right?? being olive does not mean you are dark skinned it means you have greenish/gold undertones in your skin…you can be pasty white but still have an olive complexion or be super dark and be considered olive…. FYI….its not a colour it’s a tone…. also (coming from a fellow olive) we dont exactly age that nicely….you are just as prone to wrinkles and saggy skin…in fact the lighter you are the better you age….if you take care of yourself….

  4. LindaLou

    Donatella has a very distinct nose. The bridge has a big lump and the tip points down and is very close to her upper lip. This woman’s nose doesn’t point downward and is farther from the upper lip. I also dont see the ski slope on the bridge.

  5. Keith

    This is what Jennifer Aniston is going to look like in two years.

  6. Keith

    This is what Jennifer Aniston is going to look like in two years.

  7. THANKS, my breakfast is now in the TOILET, folks!!

  8. joey joejoe

    holy shit, the crypt keeper is ‘alive’ and walking.

    my penis just ran out the door.
    the plus side is when she dies that leather hide is going to make a great jacket.

  9. liesl_injection

    id hit it… with a cricket bat. the only reason the tubby-tan dude is with her is because he thinks shes a bag of beef jerky.

  10. Fati

    this is not a woman. it’s an 80 year old transvestite. i just died a little inside.

  11. Cartman

    No way that walking piece of leather is a day under 70.

  12. Barry O

    = about 2:15 into cremation process. All that’s left is the plastic boobs & bones.

  13. Julian

    Great! thanks SW. My penis fell off. are you happy?

  14. friendlyfires

    Helen Mirren wins hands down! Large natural breasts, a bit of middle life meat in the right places, and scorches in hotness by 270 degrees the dessicated bag of bones known as Lip and Boob Implant Versace the Walking Terror From a Package of Jack Links Teriyaki Jerky .

  15. James

    To all you idiots that keep saying it isn’t her. IT IS HER. She has done this to herself, she has made herself this way.

    This is what vanity does, this is what chasing the wrong things do. This woman has everything, but has nothing. She is ruined.

    It is her, for the last fucking time, go look at other recent pictures of her.

  16. ritch

    oh my god that’s the sickest shit i have seen in a long time lol

  17. neeka

    Why are we paying this bitch so much money for her clothes!!!!!!

  18. dude

    That reminds me, I wanna go rent “Weekend at Bernie’s”….

  19. Morguemate

    #12 We highly recommend that you bury your deceased grandmother within at least three to seven days,depending upon race (all apologies to James Brown fanatics ) and while you are at it consider us as your caregivers/takers !

  20. smile


    You are hillarious!

  21. Bart

    Yup 25, this is not donatella versace. bad work, mr superficial.

  22. bananageddon

    I’d hit her (with a shovel).

  23. Doreen

    What’s up with the donut powder around her lips? or is that coke?

  24. Julie Ann

    Anyone out there still think going tanning is sexy?

  25. suzy

    LALA is right. It’s not her. I saw this woman up close for two weeks. All the sites have been duped.

  26. THIS is Donatella

    Damn … if you dug up her brother right now and propped him on the beach, he’d look 10x better than Donatella. And yes, this is DV (Douchie-Vag — er, Donatella Versace). The photos aren’t capturing her nose, but if you’ve seen her recently, then you’d be shocked. That … that … is that an ASS? No, no, NO, a thousand times uh-uh!!!

  27. Incredible Hulk

    Is that a mustache?! What’s she supposed to be — the end result of a daring genetic engineering experiment involving Hulk Hogan and Madonna? Except for the bikini (Why? Why not something less easier on the eyes, like a shroud?) and the appearance of motion, these pictures could credibly be offered as proof that Vikings learned mummification from the ancient Egyptians. We get that Versace can afford to hang out at the beach 400 days a year. But someone ought to tell her to take a break now and then so she can eat something and maybe drink some water. She can have my meals (delivered by an airlift) — after seeing these pics, it’ll be a few weeks before I feel like eating. Yikes!

  28. I hope she can be saved. She looks just a step away from death.

  29. Patti

    I hope she can be saved. She looks just a step away from death.

  30. Ardgelina

    i rather look like that then khloe kardashian ha ha jk i don’t think that is her she is not skinny like that! Maybe its her daughter…..

  31. Hågar the Horrible

    Okay, you guys ruined a perfect, new keyboard. Couldn’t get it to work again after I cleaned off the vomit. I showed those pics to my dog, and, hell, he’s hiding under the sofa now!

  32. BISIDE

    oh my god.what she is doing…she looks scary.damn.i cant believe in what my eyes out donnatella.the sun kills

  33. Hey, that’s not the Bowflex Grandma!

  34. Hey…that’s not the Bowflex Grandma!

  35. Hey…that’s not the Bowflex Grandma!

  36. Hey…that’s not the Bowflex Grandma!

  37. Ugh. Sorry. It kept saying something about a movable type error, then finally posts them all minutes later.

  38. kittykattzz

    See this goes to prove vampires really can handle exposure to the sun

  39. Toonkinstein

    …I was walkin’ on the beach at St. Barth’s and lo and behold I saw a couple of leather suitcases walkin’ along the surf… had tupperware tits…..

  40. Lassie

    53? In dog years, maybe.

    Could we PLEASE see an end to the freeze-dried look? Madonna / Skeletor, Paltrow and now this.

    Visible ribs on ‘women’ who model clothes is pathetic enough — visible hip joints on this creature is about 1,000 miles past where the line ought to be drawn. If you wanna be dead, do it right and get in the ground.

    Resolutions for ’09: Must try ingesting some of those ‘calories’ I’ve been hearing about. Must also stop worshiping the sun — it isn’t returning the favor.

    DV gets paid to tell other people what looks good — isn’t that just a tad ironic? Who is advising her — Ra? Or maybe that Mithra dude… “Malignant melanoma? That’s something POOR people get! Now get back outside — it’s nearly dawn, and you’re wasting my precious UV rays!”

    The new motto of her company (or caption for that first pic) should be, “I don’t have a problem being seen looking like this, yet you pay me 176 bazillion dollars to tell you what to wear. Suckers!”

  41. JPRichardson

    No wonder her daughter is a total mess who needs to be fed through a permanent stomach feeding tube…

  42. aimoo

    looks like she’s been eating powdered donuts

  43. julie

    Even the wrinkly old prune Donatella would still
    be attractive to sosme men — if she was lying
    on a bed of $100 notes

  44. FutureAxeMurderer

    Wow, that tan did wonders for Ann Coulter.

  45. Rylo

    Looks like a piece of leather filled with popsicle sticks and and 2 LEGGS eggs. F’n nasty old hag. I’d rather have AIDS than bang this.

  46. Hmph

    White people,stop with the tanning,the lip injections and the face lifts. That man she’s with is no better.This shit is disturbing. LMFAO

  47. elfika

    thats donatella versace allrite. she just forgot to ask her maid to iron her skin before she jumped off the yacht.. even if la prairie produces youth fountain-ish cream i doubt anything could look worse than her skin..unless she starts biting everyone and turn them into zombies..well..maybe really wrinkled batwings look a little bit worse but you’d still want them in yr mouth…

  48. hansoberlander

    i’d stick it in her

  49. Bear

    Thats a poster child for melanoma

  50. Bear

    Thats a poster child for melanoma

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