Donatella Versace in a bikini = Adios, future erections!

December 30th, 2008 // 156 Comments

Here’s renowned fashion designer Donatella Versace on the beach at St. Barts and doing a damn fine job of trying to make me bleed from the eyes. On that note, someone needs to tell Donatella Schindler’s List is a movie, not a fashion statement because, no joke, this woman’s only 53. Until I looked it up, I would’ve sworn her age was beef jerky.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. Nate

    Goodbye penis!

  2. Nate

    Goodbye penis! It was nice knowing you.

  3. p0nk

    would love to hear Randal spin this one. too bad.

  4. woodhorse

    Oh the poor bastard that gets to be her pool boy. Sorry, Jimbo, I mean “poor” in the the pathetic sense. I know she pays you a lot of money.

  5. mimi

    Of course that is her.

    Her face has always looked bad… but the rest she had to work at .

  6. Hate

    Hey Meems. look in the mirror often enough, Elephant skank? You make me sick everything about you goddamn whore.

  7. thunder cats ho!!!

    mumrah + crypt keeper + tanning bed= this yuck!!!

  8. Get in my van

    Her boobs are only 15………mmmmm 15 year old’s boobs.

  9. Harry Brown

    Funniest post in a long time. The comments actually made me laugh for a change. “Anusaurus.” Hysterical. #56 needs to go touch up her black nail polish.

  10. 1)Donatella

    2)Amy winehouse

    3)A hole full of red ants

    where do you stick your pee pee?

  11. Sledman

    First, she looks about 80 years old, certainly not in her 50′s.
    Second, I would really really like to know if she thinks she looks hot. Honestly, does she think, “I look so hot in this bikini”? Because most people, men or women, who looked like that would have the decency and humility to not expose ourselves to the public.

  12. The Zombie Apocalypse has begun!!!

  13. Alex

    Oh my god! Horrible…I wasn’t worried about ageing before, I am now. This is just creepy. Why would you show yourself in public looking like that? We are way passed halloween lady!

  14. Whats everyone talking about? she has all the ingredient for hotness…

    The boobs, the tan skinny bod, the bleached hair, the waxed crotch, the deflated ass, the expensive kinis…what more could you want…

  15. amber

    SHE LOOKS LIKE MAGDA FROM “SOMETHING ABOUT MARY”!!

  16. AmberDextrose

    Blisters on leather. I wouldn’t have thought that possible.

  17. jig

    eh, i’d pity fuck it. Wouldn’t mind shoving a wine bottle up that dirty hooch and shitting on that leathery chest. who’s with me??

  18. CY

    GET THIS OFF THE FRONT PAGE, NOW!!!

  19. LawnGnome

    HAWT!

  20. Alex

    @ 65
    You are right! Hahahahha! But magda was make up, this is for real!!! Ewwww!

  21. core

    10 more years and that’s Linda Hogan.

  22. Sport

    Man what I would do to that!
    For starters – make a nice pair of leather shoes out of it.

  23. Jo

    I don’t think that’s her…

  24. kel

    WHITE WOMEN, THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TOO IF YOU KEEP TANNING AND HITTING THE BEACH, HAHAHHA. I LOVE NOT BEING WHITE B/C I KNOW FOR A FACT I’M AGING GRACEFULLY :)

  25. kel

    WHITE WOMEN, THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TOO IF YOU KEEP TANNING AND HITTING THE BEACH, HAHAHHA. I LOVE NOT BEING WHITE B/C I KNOW FOR A FACT I’M AGING GRACEFULLY :)

  26. peter pan

    Someone should tell this woman is ok to die. Everyone does it.

  27. peter pan

    Someone should tell this woman is ok to die. Everyone does it.

  28. Newcastle77

    Oh shit son, she looks like beef jerky in a bikini.

  29. Maggie From Buffalo

    SO that is what implants look like when you are 80, I was wondering!

  30. Maggie From Buffalo

    So that is what implants look like when you are 80, I was wondering!

  31. Maggie From Buffalo

    So that is what implants look like when you are 80, I was wondering!

  32. RedNek

    # 74, How do you know, for a fact, that you are aging gracefully? If you are African American, you started off looking like poop on a stick. It doesn’t matter how old or young you are, no one wants to look at you. As far as white chicks tanning, I agree. Why anyone does it is beyond me. Nothing sexier than leather skin.

  33. That is not Donatella Versace

  34. badabing

    this makes me happy that im asian

  35. bathturd

    Thanks for ruining my monitor, not to mention my sex life!!

  36. Billy

    What the hell is it?

  37. Leila

    Donatella’s boobs have been fake for at least 15 years. Add the jewelry and possible “Versace” bikini and we have enough proof that this walking charred sausage is her.
    What I question is her age, there’s no way in hell she’s only two years older than Madonna.

  38. kel

    RE: REDNEK: HONEY, I’M NOT BLACK. AND YOUR COMMENT ABOUT BLACKS IS RACIST, I MUST SAY. I AM NOT ASIAN EITHER, BECAUSE THOSE TEND TO SHRIVEL LIKE A PRUNE. LET’S JUST SAY I HAVE A NATURAL OLIVE SKIN TONE, WHICH IS WHAT MOST WHITIES TRY TO ATTAIN WITH TEH FAKE TAN AND BEACH, BUT I HAVE NATURAL GOLDEN SKIN ALL YEAR ROUND AND NO WRINKLES OR ROLLS AND I’M 44. THANK YOU. DON’T HATE.

  39. britney's weave

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

    awesome, fish.

  40. thebitchybrunette

    SERIOUSLY. I know that everyone is talking about her skin, but her LIPS!!! OMG. Did he really have to post this? God. It’s like a dead fish.

  41. Dee

    Donatella Versace makes the Baby Jesus cry.

  42. Bill Clinton

    I’d Hit It Twice!

  43. Guest

    This almost makes me feel bad for her.
    almost.
    She must hate looking at herself in the mirror.
    BUT…she’s a bazillionaire who should be
    smart enough *not* to use tanning beds when
    she’s as leathery && shrivelled as. . . .as. . . .a leathery
    && shrivelled old woman!?!

    But still, i’d hate to have to look at that every morning.

  44. Guest

    This almost makes me feel bad for her.
    almost.
    She must hate looking at herself in the mirror.
    BUT…she’s a bazillionaire who should be
    smart enough *not* to use tanning beds when
    she’s as leathery && shrivelled as. . . .as. . . .a leathery
    && shrivelled old woman!?!

    But still, i’d hate to have to look at that every morning.

  45. Ljutefisk

    Milk mustache?

  46. Sarah

    Hey, would you look at that, it’s Lindsay Lohan in 4 years…

  47. scabbeus

    I love it! Elle, Katie and now…Magda!

    Her mouth looks like a glazed horse vagina.

  48. WhatandWhy?

    OH MY FUCKING GOD! Quick someone give me a stick, I’ma take care of this problem right now and poke my damn eyes out.

    I haven’t been this tramitized since I walked into my grandparent’s camper to see an elephant skin rug raping a badger.

  49. Krbcan

    is that really Donella? Incredible if it is, and more incredible if she is only 53. She looks at least 80 in these pics.

    And no wonder if her poor daughter has an eating disorder if this is the type of role model she is.

  50. Julio K

    ??Are we sure that’s her? That doesn’t look like any pictures of Donatella I’ve ever seen. She’s got a totally different nose, chin and mouth in all the other pictures I’ve seen of her. In fact I really hate her nose in the other pictures. This nose is ok looking. And i saw what I thought was a recent picture of her but she didn’t look anywhere near that skinny.

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