Donatella Versace in a bikini = Adios, future erections!

December 30th, 2008 // 156 Comments

Here’s renowned fashion designer Donatella Versace on the beach at St. Barts and doing a damn fine job of trying to make me bleed from the eyes. On that note, someone needs to tell Donatella Schindler’s List is a movie, not a fashion statement because, no joke, this woman’s only 53. Until I looked it up, I would’ve sworn her age was beef jerky.

Photos: Flynet

  1. Mike

    First and hideous!

  2. feararewishes

    Not long for this world.

  3. Mal Gusto

    Her stomach still looks better than Tara Reid’s

  4. wtf

    aah! finally found it! just the right image for my high school project on anorexia~

  5. Shallow Hal

    So, what I want to know is… that supposed to be pepper beef or teriyaki?

  6. Cat

    no wonder her daughter can’t seem to recover, look at her mother!!!! yeuck!!!

  7. I WAS eating lunch...

    1. no wonder her daughter has an eating disorder.
    2. WHY?! why for the love of all that is couture would you subject us to this?

    I think I’m gonna have to stick to the geekologie writer from now on.
    You have failed me too many times.

  8. sunshine

    “dead (wo)man walking”

  9. mimi

    SHHH! Have some respect!

    Donatella doesn’t know she’s dead!

  10. lisa

    I really pity her..

  11. grobpilot

    Anyone ever see “Creature from the Black Lagoon”?

  12. dilbert

    My 80yo grandma looks better, and she’s been dead for months!

  13. it’s like a piece of beef jerky walking towards me…

  14. Slappy White

    She looks like she died 20 years ago; but someone forgot to tell her.


  16. NecroMan

    If I did her, would that be necrophilia?

  17. Nor Cal

    her ass is to be studied. cocaine and ciggs young ladies, this is what you end up with! add stress and an unhealthy body image and your dead (looking) at 53. preach, preach, preach…. I love health! Save the slut dust for the strippers and get to a pilates class & bring your spriulina smoothie w/a sweet honey flower pollen boost! Then have monster monkey sex with your sweetie all night and check the phish till you drop! TMI? Life is good.

  18. Pink

    thanks i just lost my lunch

  19. Pink

    thanks i just lost my lunch

  20. Fat Lady

    Ahem.. LA LA LA… Is it time to sing yet?

  21. EuroNeckPain

    AAAAAAAAEEUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Elle Mc Pherson is ageing well after all, compared to this monster !!! 53 ??? How is that possible ??? With all the money she’s got ???

  22. chickdowntown

    Might just be madonna with a tan.

  23. Yep. There just went every ounce of heterosexuality I had left.

  24. Chef

    DO NOT post her in the “So Freaking Hot” section!!!

  25. LALALA

    THIS IS NOT Donatella Versace….it doesn’t even look like her…. she has real tits and is nowhere near this skinny…..she also has a very distinct nose and is one of the most fashinable women on the planet and therefore would not put something on her lips to have them be so pale….I also doubt she’d ever remove herself from her yacht!

  26. linds

    oh my god…what the hell happened to her? she didn’t used to look like this…?? not that she looked much better before…but jesus.

    some people have a fucked idea of what’s attractive..

  27. Mal Gusto

    Please, one of you photoshop wizards, paste Lohan’s face on that body and repost it. that is what Lohan is gonna look like before 53!

  28. It's Me Fuckers

    that is just fuckin wrong. Doesn’t anyone tell her what she looks like? OMG! Her tits look like someone took an orange, cut it in 1/2 and stuck it under her skin. *gags* I thought being rich was supposed to make you beautiful into your later years… fuck that shit.

  29. Natali

    I totally agree with LALALA, I cannot believe this is Donatella Versace. It’s not her face AT ALL. Ok this one is ugly, too blond and eww tanned but the rest isn”t like her: her nose, her body shape, her lips etc.

  30. It's Me Fuckers

    rofl… the female, white version of Michael Jackson… she is MJ’s opposite… his ying to her yang

  31. it’s like a piece of beef jerky walking towards me…

  32. o god she reminds me of the mummy that Fry mistakes for jerky in the I, Roommate episode of Futurama.

    sorry, that was just my instantaneous association.

  33. Deuce Bigalow

    AAAAAAAAHHHHH! Oh God….. I mean…. OH JESUS……..

    WTF happened there???????

  34. looks like wilford brimley. look at the ‘stache.


  35. Yam

    Are you all blind? That’s NOT Donatella Versace!!!

  36. Brazilian

    Ancient spirits of evil, transform this decayed form to Mumm-Ra, the Ever-Living!

  37. Lea

    yeah but she’s loaded !!

  38. cj

    See what money can buy…he doesn’t look like he’s holding back vomit or anything!!! Amazing!!

  39. big teeth

    It has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and commiting acts of murder. Wide spread investigation of reports from funeral homes, morgues, and hospitals has concluded that the unburied dead are coming back to life and seeking human victims. It’s hard for us here to believe what we’re reporting to you, but it does seem to be a factor.

  40. Ralph

    But she is real rich!

  41. stickykeys

    i’d hit it!

  42. shellbelli

    that is not Donatella folks sorry,
    not much of an improvement but still not her

  43. sarahp

    That is the scariest F-ing thing I’ve seen since I woke up on 11/5/08 and saw the newspaper headlines…

  44. Pathetic Worm

    Someone should call Jurassic Park and tell them that their Anusaurus has escaped.

  45. loved`

    :O shyt !! she looks like she melting … women jus dy already! plezzz do it for us and ma eyez!

  46. CreepyKen

    I think it’s the Crypt Keepers lover.

    My penis has inverted itself. I now have two ‘belly buttons’. Both are hairy.

  47. Vince Lombardi

    Just GREAT. Now my letter opener, a valued gift and most important item in my home office, is covered in blood and optic goo. Thanks, Fish. It’ll take me weeks to polish this shit out. Thank God I type by feel.

  48. juniper

    im supposed to believe the superficial writer could get an erection before this picture?

  49. Peanut

    Someone spent too long in the tanning bed…(or food dehydrator)

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