Donald Trump thinks Brad Pitt is smart

October 3rd, 2006 // 54 Comments

Donald Trump made a post on his blog yesterday commenting on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s statement that they wouldn’t marry until everybody in the Untied States was legally allowed to marry. He writes:

I know a lot of men who are perfectly happy being single. They have every excuse in the world why they’re not ready to get married.

I thought I had heard everything until I read why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie say they won’t be tying the knot anytime soon.

In an interview in the current issue of Esquire magazine, Brad said he and Angelina won’t consider getting married until – quote – “everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able.”

Obviously, Brad is trying to be a social activist and make a point about dropping the restrictions on who is allowed to get married and who isn’t in this country. Or at least that’s what he wants people to think. Maybe he’s just come up with an excellent way to stay a bachelor.

It makes him look really concerned about the plight of other people. Yet at the same time, he doesn’t have to get married. This guy is smarter than I thought.

This is where I’d make fun of Donald Trump for something or another, but the guy has enough money to literally have me and my family shipped to the moon, so I’ll just sit tight and ponder how a man that looks like he does managed to marry a woman that looks like she does. I’m guessing it’s his personality.


  1. shmoody

    The Donald and his really crappy comb-over is simply jealous that he didn’t come up with that excuse.

    By the way does Brad mean he wants to marry Tom, or Matt rather than Angelina?

  2. Ramdonomo

    ((I’ll just sit tight and ponder how a man that looks like he does managed to marry a woman that looks like she does.))

    It’s their identical eye squint. WTF.

  3. Chicagoboy

    A man worth more money that 99.99% of the people in the United States but whose opinion isn’t worth two cents.

  4. Bioplant

    Goddamn it his wife his hot.

  5. AmishDude

    Maybe Donald Trump has a huge RichPort?

  6. patreesha

    Er.. didn’t Charlize Theron make this same exact statement about her and her guy not getting married until gay marriage is legalized?

  7. Every time I see the Donald’s hair, I have the urge to go possum huntin’

  8. AmishDude

    Where are the Untied States?

    Would that be Hawaii?

    Get it, un-tied states!

  9. trump can kiss my ass


  10. BigJim

    Does that bitch he married ever NOT look like she just had a cattle prod shoved up her ass?

    Even the hottest woman in the world looks ugly if she’s always got a pissed off expression.

  11. RichPort

    #5 – Please, please… you can call it RichPort Jr, my little Amish feller.

  12. Italian Stallion

    @5 and 8 your jokes are weak, carry on………


    Donald trump is a pompous windbag.

  14. commissioner


    Yes, Charlize said the same thing. Funny how those Hollywood types have such inflated egos they actually believe they can change public opinions and policy with their ultimatums.

    I personally don’t give a rat’s ass if Brad or Charlize ever get married. Won’t affect my paycheck.

    Donald Trump was trying to be funny. He’s not afraid to get married and give away half his shit.

  15. shoof

    Melania (or whatever the F her name is) always looks like she’s about to take a serious shit. She may be pretty, but she’s gotta get that pole out of her ass.

  16. #15 – I think her look is a combination of taking a serious shit, and trying to figure out a REALLY hard math problem. You try that!

  17. BarbadoSlim

    #15 fucking A on that “taking a shit” look bit. Her and Victoria “i just took a massive creamy smelly dump” Beckham.


  18. Their faces tell me, “I have petroleum jelly in my asshole and I’ve been walking around for hours.”

  19. BigJim

    Her face tells me:


    Either that, or she’s saying “If you get cum in my eye one more time I’m gonna rip your balls off.”

  20. LL

    Help me, Jebus, Paris HIlton’s ass yesterday and Trump’s face today? WTF? Hasn’t Lindsay Lohan done or said anything wildly stupid lately? I’d be very surprised if she hasn’t. I mean, quote Trump if you want, I guess, not that that phony really has anything valuable to say, just don’t show his picture. His wife’s OK, even if she’s squinty. I can take squinty, can’t take Trump. Or at least warn us, don’t let that shit pop up on the screen right away, give us a NSFE (not safe for eyesight). Thanks ever so.

  21. dragonbain

    It’s probably in the prenup that she has to take it up the ass so many times per month. The look comes from her trying to calculate how much longer before she can cash in on the prenup, and all the ass fucking she’s getting.

  22. Delirium

    Yet again Donald affirms that he’s a chauvanist bastard. I love how he assumes that it must’ve been Brad’s idea, because Angelina of course could want nothing more than to tie the knot. Frankly, I’d peg her as the more committment-phobic of the two.

  23. The Gilbs

    I cannot stand Donald Trump. The women who marry him must be complete coke whores because he is disgusting. I can imagine him naked with fat hanging over his crotch while his wife is digging around for his baby wiener (a penis so small is looks like a baby’s). Not to mention her rubbing her hands through his thick, lustrous hair. Just thinking about it gives me a raging soft-on.

  24. HollyJ

    i bet his balls smell like coins

  25. bigponie

    Donald has balls made out of diamonds which is why girls flock around to try and suck on it.

  26. shell

    Maybe if Donald had thought of it he wouldn’t have so many ex wives to pay off.

  27. BarbadoSlim

    “a raging soft-on”

    CO ME DY GOLD!!!

    I’m going to borrow this, with your permission.



    Just follow DINK!


  29. gigi33

    # 10 & # 15, I was about to say the samething!! She ALWAYS looks like she ticked off about something. They were doing a story on them before they were married and she looked all normal until the camer came out and BAMMMM!!! Instant “I’m going to kick someone’s ass” face showed up. Very ugly. Not a good look.

  30. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    Why do Trump’s wives always look like someone has attached little hooks to the skin around their faces and then strung it all back with rubber bands? Stretchhhhhhhh. And if a rubber band breaks, what the fuck then? Does their face fly forward into the centerpiece? Does it sag like Babsie Streisand’s titties? Or will they look like those aliens in “Star Trek: Insurrection” — needing their next stretching and hoping nothing tears and oozes goo? These are the things I ponder over the evening Heineken….

  31. RichPort

    #31 – You’re right. If she keeps it up, her eyebrows are gonna look like sideburns.

  32. beer

    It sounds to me like Brad Pitt would prefer to marry a man’s ass instead of Angelina Jolie, and until he’s legally allowed to marry this man’s ass, he’s not getting married to Billy Bob’s sloppy seconds.


  33. The Donald actually isn’t as rich as he leads everyone to believe. But he’s still one handsome devil.

  34. SuNsHiNe

    Brad Pitt is a dickhead.
    Has he forgotten that he’s already gotten married?? He didn’t give a sh*t about it then

  35. Aristotrash

    Hahaha, Brad better be careful what he wishes for: the minute EVERYONE is allowed to marry, Angelina’s going to leave him to go marry her brother. BECAUSE INCEST WILL BE LEGAL. AND SHE LIKES THAT.

  36. May

    I can totally see Angie leaving Brad for her brother if that was legal.

    They have already shared some steamy kisses that prob make Pres Bush blush

  37. Regardless, I like their political statement as I believe it is a civil liberty not a moral issue-

  38. zalie

    #35, u r right.
    When I heard Brad’s silly comment, my first two thoughts were:
    Right now, there are thousands of guys around the world saying, “Damn, why didn’t I think of that one?”
    Wait a minute, hasn’t he already been married?

  39. beifiori

    she’s just as fug as he is, only younger…and **cringe** she actually let him sperminate her…i wonder if in the throes of passionate sex making his comb over gentling cascades down her neck and she mistakes it for sweet nothings…

  40. I am so relieved and honored that Brad Pitt would put off the most amazing part of life until I can marry a naked mole rat. becuase i love it. and who is America to tell me I can’t marry who I love?

  41. Only Donald Trump and Brad Pitt can say:

    “I’d hit it”
    “I’m hittin it”

    LOL :-)

  42. tits_on_snack

    Who is the post-op tranny on the right?

  43. The Juice

    hahaha… his peronality.. ha ha now that’s funny!!

  44. VeddyVeddyBadAng

    The Donald is exactly right. I thought the same thing when I heard Brad’s oh-so-generous and thought-provoking pronouncement. Give me a fucking break. He and Angelina just thought this whole “Oh, we are SO concerned about gay marriage” bullshit so people wouldn’t start hammering on them for having kids out of wedlock. Nice try, assholes.

  45. CooterPunch

    Props x10 on the pic!
    Freakin HILARIOUS.

  46. I have never seen a picture of his wife where she doesn’t look royally pissed off.

  47. Angelina IS a man …
    Melania, why do you always look like you have just bit in a lemon ? Drop it, you were almost unknown prior to you trumpett wedding …

  48. Nortcliff

    “I have never seen a picture of his wife where she doesn’t look royally pissed off”

    It’s easy to mistake a state of high tension for anger.

    She thinks that thing is going to jump off his head & eat her face.

    If Donald Trump was smart he would invest in a pair of sheep shears and a good toupe.

  49. Nortcliff

    “I have never seen a picture of his wife where she doesn’t look royally pissed off”

    It’s easy to mistake a state of high tension for anger.

    She thinks that thing is going to jump off his head & eat her face.

    If Donald Trump was smart he would invest in a pair of sheep shears and a good toupe.

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