Donald Trump wasn’t even in California the day a Santa Monica restaurant claims he left a $10,000 tip in order to outdo previous high-tipper producer Jerry Bruckheimer, according to Page Six:
“This was done by the stupid restaurant to get publicity,” he said. “. . . It’s not my signature.”
I guess this means Jerry Bruckheimer wins the “Whose dick is bigger?” contest by default. Apparently the Donald is comfortable with that. I wouldn’t be. I need to know everyday that my reproductive organs dwarf the man who brought us The Rock and Bad Boys. So that way, when my girlfriend asks if it’s in yet, I can respond, “Hey, you could be having sex with tiny Jerry Bruckheimer on top of a pile of cash.” Except when I tried that once, she said “Really?” and got dressed then left. I haven’t seen her since, but I hear she’s in a movie now. Not the response I was looking for which involved tears of repentance followed two minutes a vast eternity of pleasure later by a delicious sandwich.
I’m glad I didn’t give him any credit for this yesterday when this lame-ass story came out. The only thing big about Trump is his assholishness.
And goddam, his hair is fugly. Maybe that’s why he’s such a dick. No matter how rich he is, his hair always looks like it belongs on a used car salesman.
Yeah, I’m #49. It was me! Awesome.
D. Richards, you don’t need to know anything about me. I am better than you and always will be. Your long rant about absolutely nothing proves you are in need of severe mental help. Get it…quickly.
#48? Sammy. Are you telling the person you’re typing to that I have no personality? Or are you directing that towards me? I may have no personality (which I don’t), but at least I can direct a comment in an appropriate fashion.
Also, I take that “pussy-meat” thing back. You’re obviously skank. I can tell by the way you type that you’re disgusting to look at. But you’ve got a heart-of gold.
I win again. You really don’t want us all to know that you’re bald, do you, champ? You know what I proved, Junior? I proved that you’re a bald guy. Ha!
Look at the hair in his ears
Attention D. Richards (jerk)
Oh no, now you have hurt my feelings and made me cry, because I take everything you say to heart.
What an asshole. Your mom must have been completely ashamed of you before she committed suicide for realizing that she made you (by accident, I’m sure…with one or more unknown hobos).
Ah ha ha ha!
Samantha owned you, D. Richards, you little, stupid piece of shit.
D. Richards (Sensai) – please go slower. I got the part where you caught the other stupid fucking guy (your words) in a mistake but then you went way past me with the “you should be eating my ass”. I just don’t understand the logic that took you from point A (mistake) to point B (ass-eating). Please explain – at least once – or I’ll never be able to take the pebble from your hand.
Signed,
Hiding-From-Samantha
I’m pretty sure I saw Donald on a Pantene commercial last Saturday.
Junior? You still haven’t answered my question. Bald? Bald! Look at you relying on some stupid cunt. Yeah, “owned”! I was “owned”. That bitch is predictable. Sammy? Say something new. That mother-shit grows tiresome.
Actually, my mommy died while being gang-raped by a hoard of black guys (negros). I was told her dying words were, “They really are hung.” It was devistating.
#59. I tell people that mean shit to me to eat the very place that my shit originates from: My asshole. They tend to give the best mouth. Thanks for the kind words, Woody.
That sounds more like Trump. The tip story would have been more believable if the server was a blonde waitress who made him think she was going to suck his enlarged clit.
Still wondering what Tara Conner had to do for him in that private meeting to get her crown back: this balding corpse has never been known to be generous.
From reading your posts, D. Richard, it seems apparent that your shit originates from your brain.
I think D. Richards and JR need to get a room where they can go spank each other silly…
I really want to hate D Richards, but I find that no….. I’m a fan. And strangely aroused.
I like it.
You should all learn a lesson from this and tip more for the Holidays. The more you have, or the more publicity you want, tip, tip away. Tis the Season to be……
I don’t need to do this because I’m just damn cheap, and no one knows who I am anyway….
Wow, let’s make up captions for the pic, I’ll start
woobagga, meebogga, Han Solo…..
On the Star Wars theme, his hair is literally 4 inches off his head, and has the exact shape of a Stormtrooper helmet, doesn’t it?
Trump cut Rosie Cun’Tonell down to size though, which given her size ain’t exactly easy or pleasant, so he’s got plenty of bonus points in my book
Uggh this man is rich! Why can’t he get some hair plugs or hair extensions?
Get some bangs or a mullet? Try Nelly Furtado’s look, or even Paris Hilton.
Hell get some hair advice from Pete (Jewish) Wentz.
I say get some hair extensions, him and Britney can go shopping for some!!
do u believe he has an account on aservice site seekingsugar.com?
part of being funny is accepting the risk of falling flat on your face every now and then.
#6
I don’t know any woman who likes him. His wife probably uses his money to support her boyfriend(s).
#20
His rants sounded even more boring, predictable, uncreative, and of course idiotic than anything that comes out of his bimbo wife’s mouth.
This asshole is a pathetic and extremely uncertain MORON and an extremely vain(because of what!!) motherfucker with a mongol looking haircut on top of his water-head!!
Hey, thanks (!) Ript. Cheers!
i just found out his secret that he have joined an
online club sugarmommymeet, by which he is seeking a sexy girl or rich women
for extramarital relationship..
#65- I know what you mean. I feel the same way about Binky. I think I may have made a pass at him one night after too many glasses of wine.
D Richards, are you AKA Binky??
#76? Yeah, honey. I’ll be your “binky” (Cock). Open-wide, slut.. Here comes dinner. You like that, don’t ya’, whore? Tell me. Tell me you like it. Good, girl. Good, girl.
Como decía mi abuelo:
“Nadie se hizo rico dando”
Who doesn’t know the sick irony that rich people are the cheapest bitches on the planet?
His face now looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt’s ass.
I’m not sure why, I suddenly feel the need for a bowl of shredded wheat.
Location: The delivery room, where Melania and Donald have just experienced the birth of their child.
Melania: “You are my beautiful baby, yes you are, yes you are!”
Baby’s Thoughts: “Hmmm, not bad. I’ve got myself a MILF.”
Melania: “OK, now say hi to Daddy!”
(Baby then scans the room. His eyes settle and focus on The Donald’s grinning face)
Baby’s Thoughts: “What the FUCK???”
haw-haw, i just heard a slur that he was pampered by a rich woman who he met on sugarmommymeet.com where rich women find their sugar babies.
Recently, quite a few celebrities were said to appear on the
millionaire luxury club “RichLoving.com”. OMG!!! Are these famous guys fond of internet dating for now?? Maybe they are indeed so rich that they feel boring sometimes to need new things?
this is the funniest shit i’ve ever read