Donald Trump is not a big tipper

December 7th, 2007 // 85 Comments

Donald Trump wasn’t even in California the day a Santa Monica restaurant claims he left a $10,000 tip in order to outdo previous high-tipper producer Jerry Bruckheimer, according to Page Six:

“This was done by the stupid restaurant to get publicity,” he said. “. . . It’s not my signature.”

I guess this means Jerry Bruckheimer wins the “Whose dick is bigger?” contest by default. Apparently the Donald is comfortable with that. I wouldn’t be. I need to know everyday that my reproductive organs dwarf the man who brought us The Rock and Bad Boys. So that way, when my girlfriend asks if it’s in yet, I can respond, “Hey, you could be having sex with tiny Jerry Bruckheimer on top of a pile of cash.” Except when I tried that once, she said “Really?” and got dressed then left. I haven’t seen her since, but I hear she’s in a movie now. Not the response I was looking for which involved tears of repentance followed two minutes a vast eternity of pleasure later by a delicious sandwich.


  1. I wonder how much he tips his hair stylist…

  2. Starchasm

    I think someone mentioned this in the comments to the story yesterday….

    But forging Trump’s signature? That seems dumb.

  3. not lol donald trump is a huge douchebag

  4. Ascil

    MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re fired !

  5. michelle

    he reminds me of a frog… i guess women like him for his interbeauty and charms…. definitely not the money

  6. humina

    He looks like a rooster. A big fat rooster.

    On an unrelated note, I just watched, pooped on my own peeter and masturbated furiously.

  7. RichPort

    Trump is a huge cock. The combover definitely covers the slie on the top of his head. He’s he only human that has to point the top of his head at the urinal to take a piss.

  8. Jeezy

    Buffalo Club is a shitty restaurant.

  9. HDC

    Who cares??Recently, quite a few celebrities were said to appear on the millionaire luxury club “”. OMG!!! Are these famous guys fond of internet dating for now?? Maybe they are indeed so rich that they feel boring sometimes to need new things?

  10. gcoke

    ill give him a $10,000 tip – “Dear ‘tha Donald’: stop fucking people half your age, shave your head and become the new Die Hard guy side-guy, but be the one who gets killed because you fucking suck.”

  11. God I feel so violated..

  12. miggs

    What’d the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.

  13. EmbarrassingMoments

    I will pay 10k to any one who can get a picture of the trumpster with his combover hungover to one side. I will pay 20k if you can get a beautiful girl in the picture looking at him and laughing. I’ll bet trump pays 6 figure salaries to bodyguards whose sole purpose is to make sure his combover stays combed over his head.

  14. mohammed, the teddy

    he looks bloated

  15. LayDeeBug

    We’ll settle this RIGHT NOW!!!!!

    MY dick is bigger.

  16. Sam

    Yes, I called it yesterday when everyone was going on and on. I got a tip for everyone…and you know where to find it!

  17. ASecretNoOneKnows

    Donald still wears Ivana’s panties when he goes out on dates. He will never sell them to Texas Tranny.

  18. Karl

    Ok, so like I said in my post when this was a “true story”, who will send me $5,000 to get several million out of Africa from a dead, long-lost relative of yours? You suckers…all of you!

  19. MindRiot

    He still kicks Rosie’s fat ass. His rants on her are priceless.

  20. IWONKY

    It would be so funny to torture him with a leaf blower and cut off all his hair.

  21. BunnyButt

    The freaky thing about his combover is that he actually has hair under there. Saw an interview in which he lifted his combover to show what’s underneath (link below to a photo from the interview), and, by God, he has hair. He’s still a douche bag, but a douche bag with hair.

  22. Let’s see if the link works better this way…

  23. I shall try to say this with other words:

    And that’s exactly what you are!!!!

  24. @16 Laydeebug, Prove it!!

    Dang, Trump has turned into a fat ass..

  25. veggi

    BunnyButt- holy shit! whoda thunk????.. so, it’s a ‘desired’ hairstyle?. wow..

  26. LayDeeBug

    25 – Did you see “Fight Club?” That’s my junk flashing at the end…….

    Yea, bow to your mistress/master…..(can’t even keep a straight face while writing this)

  27. RichPort

    #25 – I agree, he’s starting to get that bloaty look, like “Chandler” during his “Case O’ Stoli” a night Friends days.

  28. anonymous

    i don’t like this guy. he’s a hypocrite. he does dumb things to generate publicity as well, like using his big mouth.

  29. IWONKY

    Yes, it’s true, one of the most powerful real estate moguls in the world tries to look like a mop-headed fool, on purpose.

  30. BunnyButt

    Veggi, guess he likes the attention, good or bad. Sort of like a dog that pees on the bed.

    Seriously, I was flabbergasted when he lifted the hair during the interview. Why anyone would needlessly choose that hairstyle, especially someone who is wealthy and internationally famous (so he should know better), is beyond me.

  31. Laydeebug, I have not seen Fight club, but now that I know it is your junk at the end, I think I will pass..

    Something about a LaydeeBug with a wenis just does not work for me..

  32. IWONKY

    There’s only one good thing about the Don:
    He likes to rag on Rosie Ole Dumpfuck.

  33. D. Richards (Slob.)

    Fuck Donny. I would.. Hell, I’d fuck Don for a couple grand. I’m kidding of-course. I’d blow him for free! What a man.

  34. LayDeeBug

    32 – LOL

  35. IWONKY

    He’d make a good dust mop…he’s got enough hairspray in that rag to trap terrorists…I wonder if there are any other ways to use Don’s mop? It’s just sitting there with nothin’ to do but suck…,

  36. astay oskay yous fay

    Clint Eastwood………………………………..I fucked em owwwwww!
    I know your not talking bout clint but I just wanted to say that!

  37. Chuckster

    What else do you expect from a guy who inherited his “starter” money and companies from his dad.

  38. IWONKY

    WENIS – (Iwonky laughs Hysterically)

  39. JR

    39 posts from people who give a shit, but don’t matter. Pathetic!

  40. D. Richards (Anus.)

    #40? Make that forty, sweetheart.

  41. Hair today, gone tomorrow

    Yes, he has a hairline when he lifts up his comeover. That’s because he reportedly has single-follicle and two-follicle hair grafts (plugs that are called “micrografts” by some) in front. They were harvested from the back of his head, which is the usual technique.

    He reportedly also had some sort of scalp reduction procedure, which means cutting out a slice of bald or balding skin on top and pulling up the skin-with-hair from the sides. When you combine the scalp reduction with the micrographs in front, you can then go to town with the pompadour combover and “Voila!” Donald Trump hair.

    You will recall that he has never shown the TOP of his head, the heart of Combover Country. He will only show the front, where the micrografts can make the hairline look natural.

  42. want meds

    re #14: There is a clip out there somewhere (I saw it on TV a couple of weeks ago, but was too stoned to remember the channel) of the Donald boarding a private plane, and it’s windy as hell, and all of a sudden, his “wing” of hair flaps straight up–ALL OF IT TOGETHER–and became a dorsal fin for his head. Roomie and I were unable to do anything for at least an hour–the laughter (yes, I know we were high but the clip was fucking hysterical) had us sidelined. So, internet savvy folks, find the clip. It simply HAS to be on the Net somewhere.

  43. JR

    RE: #41. After your post, the count went to 40. You were correct.

    I would love to see photos of everyone here and their lovely, stunning hair. I’m sure it would be a huge laugh.

  44. shosho

    44- beleive me he would still top eveyone here with his hairstyle! lool

  45. D. Richards (Bastard.)

    Hey, JR (Smarty!), if you would have scrolled up and taken a good, long look, you would have noticed that I was #34; you stupid fucking piece-of shit. Hey, great posts, man! Wee!

    P.S. I wonder if tiny “JR” (Junior. daddy’s boy.) is a balding young man? I bet he is. Bald men unite!

  46. JR

    D Richards…you are completely lame. Get a high school education, then come back and post something intelligent. All your posts are stupid.

    By the way…JR stands for Just Right to kick your ass, you little weasel.

  47. Samantha

    I agree with JR. The comments made by D Richards are really dumb. It is a shame that you have no personality.

  48. D. Richards (Loser)

    I’m a loser…completely. I’ve got more hair on my back than my head and more brains in my ass than my…uh, head.

  49. D. Richards (Surgeon.)

    Please! Junior, I won and you’re just mad that I caught you in a stupid fucking mistake, honey. You should be eating my ass.

    Again, Junior-boy-child, you’re a fucking twit. Why do you feel the need to question my intellect? Do you have a degree in some mediocre field that has you working in a cubicle? Is that the only thing you have going for you? Are you threatened? Probably. Ha! Hey, you didn’t answer my question about your being a balding superstar? Are you balding, daddy? Huh? Are you?I know you are. And you’re young too. Must suck to see all those guys your same age with a full set of hair. Why god? Why me? Everyone laughs at you behind your back (because you’re so goddamn tough). HA-HA!

    As for you, Samantha? You must be Son’s little whore. Taking-up for your cock. How beautiful. How romantic. You should keep your thoughts to yourself, girl. You’re only pussy-meat. Nobody cares what you have to say in life. Make me something to eat. Bitch!

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