Donald Trump Tells Robert Pattinson Not To Take Kristen Stewart Back, Is Very Concerned With This

Donald Trump may have been completely wrong about Obama’s birth certificate (In The Donald’s defense, the dude did look some kind of black.), but if there’s one thing a double divorcee now married to a Slovenian model understands, it’s love. So here he is tweet-warning Robert Pattinson not to take Kristen Stewart back because have you heard these kids go nuts for this Twilight crap? He’s got like 100 more Twitter followers already. Like shootin’ vampire fish in a barrel:

Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again–just watch. He can do much better!

Except as savvy of a businessman he pretends to be, Donald failed to remember the first rule of Twi-club. Never bring a hairpiece to a sparklecock-fight:

- Lots of response to my Pattinson/Kristen Stewart reunion. She will cheat again–100 certain–am I ever wrong?
– Robert I’m getting a lot of heat for saying you should dump Kristen- but I’m right. If you saw the Miss Universe girls you would reconsider.

And, BOOM, there it is: The sales pitch. “So, Rob, mind if I call you, Rob? Because I like you, I’ll not only give you Miss Pennsylvania and Miss Rhode Island for the price of Miss Idaho, but I’ll even throw in Miss North Dakota if you agree to come on Celebrity Apprentice. And it’s really a fun show, you’ll love it. We’ve got the Poison man Brent Cycles, and one time we even had Chewbacca from Star Wars but only for the afternoon or Kris Jenner got to eat my grandchildren’s hearts. (Never haggle with that woman.) Whadda ya say?”

Photos: Ivon-F Filho/AKM-GSI