Donald Trump Is Running For President. Officially This Time.

Fish’s Rachel Dolezal post has enough progressive ideology to keep George Soros hard for decades as well as feed our handful of conservative commenters the tasty hate morsels they survive on, so this post is just going to be about a fat, rich piece of shit who I feel confident in saying we can all hate together. Donald Trump’s running for president. Officially this time. Via CNN:

“So, ladies and gentlemen, I am officially running for president of the United States, and we are going to make our country great again,” Trump told the crowd, in a lengthy and meandering speech that hit on his signature issues like currency manipulation from China and job creation, as well as taking shots at the President and his 2016 competitors.

In a fifteen minute rambling, bloviating address from Trump Tower in Manhattan, the human toad in a doll wig known as Donald J. Trump announced his candidacy while plugging his golf courses, his book, and the fact that he regularly fucks over China in trade deals. He also slammed Obamacare because a doctor friend of his has “more accountants than nurses.” Whatever the fuck that means. Then accused Obama of having a “negative presence,” and “not being a cheerleader for the brand of America.” It takes a spectacular level of delusion to spend an entire speech describing a country that’s in the toilet, from our stagnant labor force, to our impotence against ISIS, to our inability to compete in a global marketplace, only to use the next breath to accuse someone of being negative. Concurrent with his presidential bid, he’s announcing his net worth to be $9 billion, which is not only already being called horseshit, but also a less than subtle suggestion of how amazingly well he’s doing while the rest of us grovel at the feet of great men like him. Fucking gross, right? Honestly, if we can’t all join hands and agree this taint rash should be dragged to the bottom of the ocean with his feet strapped to a gold toilet while we chant “You’re fired,” then there’s no hope for us. At least give me this before you have to pretend Jeb Bush is any different than his Hee Haw brother and we retreat to our respective battlements. *dives into trench, readies futile defense of Bernie Sanders’ platform*

Photo: Getty