Donald Trump Might Make Sarah Palin His VP. The Sarah Palin.
“And the liberties with the freedoms that our forefathers fought upon to build the nation asunder…”
*sigh* “I only ever wanted to sell a few more horsemeat steaks.”
As Republican support continues congealing around Donald Trump despite party leadership previously spending over $75 million to try to take him down and going so far as to compare him to fucking cancer, the inevitable next step in the process is VP selection. And since he’s just a trust fund kid who’s never had to understand how any of this shit works, he of course picked the only other guy with less political experience than himself, Dr. Ben “I’ll Stab A Bitch” Carson, to choose for him. This is like Tiger Woods recruiting David Duchovny to be his sexual sobriety coach. So, it’s no wonder Carson immediately put Sarah Palin on the list, because at this point the GOP ticket is less about winning the presidency and more about trying to get white people with functioning brains to flee the country. I swear to God that’s what’s happening here. Via Gawker:
According to political insider and barely-awake neurosurgeon Ben Carson, Sarah Palin is among the names that Republican presidential nominee-to-be Donald Trump may tap for his vice president. Carson told The Washington Post that Palin is among a list that includes John Kasich, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, and Chris Christie.
To be honest, Sarah Palin is the perfect choice for a Trump ticket. She fits all of Trump’s extremely detailed requirements for a running mate, like “I do want somebody that’s political, because I want to get lots of great legislation we all want passed,” and “We’re going to probably choose somebody that’s somewhat political,” which are both actual answers the walking self tanner stain gave when describing his VP pick. No one can argue that Sarah Palin isn’t both “political” and “somewhat political.” Done deal. “Whadda we got next, Secretary of Defense? Well, we need to pick someone who is defensive and also somewhat intimidating. Did you see Gary Busey in Lethal Weapon. Fantastic, scary stuff. Let’s get him on the list.” Think this is all so hilariously stupid it could never happen? Here’s the latest general election poll that shows an alarmingly small six point difference between Trump and Clinton. (See: Fucked, We’re All Seriously)