Donald Sterling’s Interview Is A Goddamn Goldmine

The Superficial / May 13, 2014

Donald Sterling’s full interview with Anderson Cooper aired last night, and Jesus fucking Christ, is it a goddamn treasure trove. Not only does it take his admitted jealousy of Magic Johnson obsessively further, but it also manages to make Donald Sterling look like even more of a racist if that’s even possible. I say this with all sincerity, it’s genuinely a miracle he didn’t stop at one point to whip a slave for not putting enough ice in his mint julep. That’s literally the only thing missing right now. CNN reports:

Sterling, 80, slammed the former Los Angeles Lakers player’s character and his battle with HIV, saying Johnson hasn’t done anything to help others.
“What kind of a guy goes to every city, has sex with every girl, then he catches HIV? Is that someone we want to respect and tell our kids about?” Sterling asked. “I think he should be ashamed of himself. I think he should go into the background. But what does he do for the black people? He doesn’t do anything.”

Keep in mind, this is the same Donald Sterling who has openly admitted in court documents to banging mistresses behind his wife’s back not to mention is in this exact mess because a golddigger he was shtupping sold him out. As for giving back to the community, Deadspin pulled up Magic Johnson’s tax returns which show he’s a pretty fucking generous guy, but that doesn’t fit the Republican party’s Donald Sterling’s narrative that all black people are selfish ingrates:

“What has he done? Can you tell me? Big Magic Johnson, what has he done?” Sterling said.
Sterling, who is Jewish, said Jewish people spend great amounts of money helping other Jews who are poor while rich black people turn their backs to people in need.
“That’s one problem I have. Jews, when they get successful, they will help their people, and some of the African-Americans — maybe I’ll get in trouble again — they don’t want to help anybody,” he said.
Cooper asked, “So are you saying that African-Americans don’t contribute to African-American communities as much as Jewish people —“
Sterling — measured for much of the interview — cut Cooper off and snapped back.
“There’s no African-American –,” he said, raising his voice. “Never mind, I don’t know, I’m sorry. You know, they all want to play golf with me. Everybody wants to be with me. I’m easy. I’m fun.”

Wait a second, did Donald Sterling just say black people want to play golf with them? Holy shit, why didn’t he say so in the first place? We’ve all been making a big deal out of nothing. *opens window, talks into megaphone* Attention, everyone. Everyone, can I have your attention please? Black people want to play golf with Donald Sterling. I repeat, black people want to play golf with Donald Sterling. Show’s over. Pack it up. Except for you, Magic Johnson. You stand in the corner and think about what you did, or no golfing with Don, mister. Don’t you give me that look!

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