Dog the Bounty Hunter almost had something cool happen. Almost.

April 22nd, 2009 // 73 Comments

Duane “Dog” Chapman and his bounty hunters claimed to have been shot at yesterday during an arrest. TMZ reports:

According to police in Colorado Springs, Colo., Chapman and bail bondsman Bobby Brown were attempting to bring in a man named Hoang Nguyen when he allegedly fired at least one shot at Chapman and Brown with a handgun before fleeing on a motorcycle.
Chapman and Brown were armed with paintball guns and returned fire.
Hoang was later arrested without incident by Chapman early this morning.

Dog’s camera crew conveniently missed the whole thing – because, holy shit, it didn’t happen:

We just spoke with Colorado Springs Police, and they say as of right now, they’ve found no evidence of a shot fired — including no bullet hole or shell casing at the scene. They say the information that a shot was fired came from Dog’s camp.

I don’t know what’s worse: That Dog runs around with a paintball gun dressed like Mickey Rourke’s retarded brother, or that he had to make up his own story about being shot at because, let’s face it, his job really isn’t that badass. I think once on his show Dog tackled a guy then cried for twenty minutes in his car. I’ve seen tougher vigilante justice from Fonzie.

Photos: Getty, WENN
superficial

  1. chango

    Cut that mullet, you jerk . . .

  2. That pic just screams “Menage a Trois” to me… Rawr.

  3. Their bedsprings better be re-enforced with kryptonite…

  4. Their bedsprings better be re-enforced with kryptonite…

  5. Ian

    Why was the paintball gun dressed like Mickey Rourke’s retarded brother?

  6. Jrz

    I think his wife should be his weapon. “Stop! Or I’ll throw my wife on top of you!”

  7. Mullets, nigger rants, trailer parks, fight with your kids on national tv his credibility’s still intact I believe em…

  8. devilsrain

    He fired back with his paintball gun? You must be fucking kidding

  9. Jrz

    JANE!!! RICH!!!!
    (now Frist chimes in with “boo woo, I know people too, boo woo”)

  10. Newcastle

    Fuck the Dog. I want to see his fat wife’s tits.

  11. He carries a paintball gun casue he’s a felon and can’t own a firearm.

  12. Are those things real?

  13. clareargent

    tool.

  14. Andy!

    I like the way he captures criminals!

  15. #11

    Exactly. He can’t even carry a stun gun. He’s limited to fucking paint ball guns and pepper spray. He’s about as dangerous as a 13 year old pussybag or an 80 year old woman. Take your pick. Must suck to be him. Yeah, bra, I’m a felon bounty hunter. Yeah, bra.

  16. SuperMe

    This man and his fat wife are the two biggest pieces of trash I’ve ever laid eyes on.
    Excuse me while I go vomit.

  17. …Do people really expect a bounty hunting crew to be completely mentally sound? As long as they’re still doing their jobs correctly and effectively, it doesn’t matter if they were shot at or not.

  18. Jenny

    I live in Colorado Springs and people here are finding it hard to give a shit. The news programs have picked up the story, but ran maybe three minutes of the story and sent it back to the weather. Even here in Colorado, where the evangelicals run rampant and cowboys are still real, we just can’t find it in our hearts to think this douche bag is worthy of anything other than a hair cut.

    Come on, Dog, I’m buying.

  19. Darth

    These two are quite some time together.Aren’t they?

  20. lou

    It has been confirmed that the alleged shot fired was actually a back fire emitted from his wife’s ass while attempting pursuit of three Quarter Pounders with cheese that the suspect left behid in his haste

  21. Gando

    I first thought that the woman is Hulk Hogan’s ex having rough times.

  22. Sauron

    Don’t get in a fight with this woman folks!

  23. mutual admiration society

    Jrz, just a question: How pathetic are you that you spend all day giving shout outs to your little buddies on a gossip website? Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

  24. @15 my friend is a bondsman here in CO. I’ve talked to him about the Dog. He is not very well liked by the bonding community here. And his wife is hated. Total bitch to all other bondsman in the area.

  25. edamame

    Well, hello to Jessica Simpson in 20 years!

  26. Dave

    This midget should not be allowed to capture any one. Take the weave out and the lift shoes off and maybe……maybe some one might take him serious. That would be the funniest thing to see someone fire a shot at him and he returns fire with a paintball gun.

  27. A rather brilliant show. First they bond out meth addicts, which they know will skip… and know they will still be on an island. Then they sell the rights to filming themselves tracking them down with a paint ball gun, oversized mace and fake badges. Its like an adult version of a kids game.

  28. Randel's Anus

    Dog, I really admire you for the work that you do in law enforcement as well as the noble charitable causes you head up. Also, Mrs. Chapman, you are clearly a lovely woman, enchanting as you are beautiful.

    With that said, how much would it cost me if could take a dump on your face while I jerk off on Beth’s gigantic titties?

    Get back to me on that please. Mmmmkay?

  29. Venom

    Mickey Rourke’s retarded brother, lol.
    That was pretty funny.

  30. ultimatemallninja

    gotta love them internets…so many haters sitting behind their screens feeling powerful by ridiculing someone they’ve never met.. the statement just says the cops couldn’t find a casing (revolver maybe?)

  31. Uhh . . .

    Let’s see .. . . . dogs eat fish . . . . . .Sure he could take a bite out of you, Fish!

  32. #23 – Sorry no more room for new friends… all slots taken. But thanks for asking!

  33. smarg

    My God, those MASSIVE tits…you could drown in them.

  34. #30

    Could also have been an M41A 10mm pulse rifle, like the one in Aliens. They are caseless.

  35. Richard McBeef

    @31 – Please kill yourself immediately.

  36. she’s pretty!

  37. coco

    Am i the only one that thinks these two and the Hulk family should be best friends? They look like they’re from the same planet! lol.

  38. therush

    Has anyone ever seen his show? It seems that at least 90% of the people he brings in simply forgot their court date. Seriously they caught one guy who was just standing there and his reaction was “THAT’S TODAY?!?!?!?!?! Thanks for coming to get me.”

  39. Turd Ferguson

    Paintball gun??
    WTF? I’m gonna start my own biz as a bounty hunter ’cause I have my old Laser Tag stuff in a box in the basement.
    “Hey bra! Stop! or I’ll Pew Pew Pew!!”

    @28: Anus, I’m glad to see you finally broke away from Randal! Good for you!
    @36, I think you forgot to add the word “ugly”.

  40. liz4sale

    these two are like the king and queen of ass ugly. they really think being burnt to a crisp tan and having bleach blond hair makes them attractive. also gotta love when white trash try to dress up. . his shirt is unbuttoned down to his belly button. and that paired with the beads in his god awful hair and the necklaces is great. and her with her nightgown looking dress but as fat as she is, i guess her options are limited.

  41. mai-tai

    I think his wife is starting to look pretty.

  42. lou

    #41
    Are you on Meth?
    #37 good idea

    #36, read response to 41

    33 Those ain’t tits but rather a pair of homosexual midgets
    How come most bounty hunters resemble trailer trash?

  43. ragnkjun

    Unfortunately to most of us, the guy was a poor shot. Oh, well. If you first don’t succeed…….

  44. Jeff W.

    God, what lower-class pigs they are.

  45. Daniel

    Lol, I think people are leaving funny comments. Dog using a paintball gun, serious? This seems like a real Reno 911 story. If it wasn’t true, nice attempt to sound cool. If it was, you better hide you a real gun.

  46. Rasputins Liver

    Holey Shite, man!

    YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGSSS!!!

    Those two are some butt-fuckin’ ugly, country-ghetto, Sarah Palin rallyin’ neanderbillies, man!

    I thought that Dogshit was in jail and his grotesque dog of a wife was hookin’ NASCAR race track restroom janitors?

    Christ on a damn tampon. Don’t these two and there “Deliverance” lifestyle neanderbilly fans know we’re in the 21st Century?

    These two represent all that is wrong with America. Them, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Samuel “Joe The (Fake) Plumber” Wurtzelbacher; Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Annorexic Cunter and all who lead, propagandize and sheeple for the GOPervs, …

    …THE PARTY OF FRINGE-WING RADIO & TV BLOWHARDS….

    …aka…

    …..THE PARTY OF LIMBAUGH.

    .

  47. Rasputins Liver

    Holey Shite, man!

    YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGSSS!!!

    Those two are some butt-fuckin’ ugly, country-ghetto, Sarah Palin rallyin’ neanderbillies, man!

    I thought that Dogshit was in jail and his grotesque dog of a wife was hookin’ NASCAR race track restroom janitors?

    Christ on a damn tampon. Don’t these two and there “Deliverance” lifestyle neanderbilly fans know we’re in the 21st Century?

    These two represent all that is wrong with America. Them, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Samuel “Joe The (Fake) Plumber” Wurtzelbacher; Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Annorexic Cunter and all who lead, propagandize and sheeple for the GOPervs, …

    …THE PARTY OF FRINGE-WING RADIO & TV BLOWHARDS….

    …aka…

    …..THE PARTY OF LIMBAUGH.

    .

  48. james

    Hahahaha
    “dressed like Mickey Rourke’s retarded brother”
    Oh man, so true!

  49. Danklin24

    Guys shut up, Dog is cool. He gets those dead beats off the streats that have like 2 ounces of pot in their pockets and gets those dead beats off the streets have 12 moving violations and get tickets for littering. This guy is a hero to society. We dont know what we’d ever do without his heroism. Thank you Dog, your job doesnt go unappreciated.

    But you know Dog, you could pickup some real badasses once in a while, like those damn jay walkers. They’re ruthless sons of bitches. You might have to use your kids laser tag guns for that.

    PEW PEW!

  50. Danklin24

    Guys shut up, Dog is cool. He gets those dead beats off the streats that have like 2 ounces of pot in their pockets and gets those dead beats off the streets have 12 moving violations and get tickets for littering. This guy is a hero to society. We dont know what we’d ever do without his heroism. Thank you Dog, your job doesnt go unappreciated.

    But you know Dog, you could pickup some real badasses once in a while, like those damn jay walkers. They’re ruthless sons of bitches. You might have to use your kids laser tag guns for that.

Leave A Comment