Dog says ‘I’m back, racism!’ or something to that effect

May 15th, 2008 // 73 Comments

Dog the Bounty Hunter is returning for its fifth season proving that America loves retarded Bible-totin’ racists – in leather. (Back me up, West Virginia.) A&E held a “carefully choreographed” press conference yesterday to announce its decision to return Dog to the air. The AP reports:

“It’s not about ratings,” A&E spokesman Michael Feeney said. “We know his heart. We know him and know he’s not a racist.”
Scott Lonker, vice president nonfiction and alternative programming at A&E, said viewer demand for the show also weighed in the decision.
Niger Innis, national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality, said Chapman’s use of the racial slur was wrong. But he noted that Chapman “took ownership of the harm it caused” and “sought to turn his life around.”
Alphonso Braggs, Hawaii chapter president of the NAACP, disagreed, saying Chapman got off lightly for behavior that is “absolutely unacceptable.”
“If individuals see they are able to behave inappropriately with little or no consequence, they will continue that pattern,” he said.

While A&E played it close to the vest with its press conference, somebody should’ve made sure Dog didn’t send out press kits of his own. Like the one I happen to have in my shaky, caffeine-fueled hands:

Dear Viewers,

Dog here. Thanks for your prayers and support. I’m glad to be back making the streets of some random town in Hawaii safe for my wife and her tank breasts. For those of you worried about my unfortunate remarks and how they’ll affect my anti-climatic bounty hunting, fear not. I’ll be equally pursuing all criminals whether they be inbred white-trash, spooks, slant-eyes, heebs, wetbacks, and, the always elusive, Guinea wop dagos. Did I forget anybody? Awesome. Jesus loves you, everybody! Unless you’re gay.

-DOG

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Corie

    You are all fucking morons. We didnt vote for Obama because unlike all you other dipshits we don’t vote for someone just because Oprah says to! West Virginia is just the same as any other place sure we have some assholes and some hicks and some down right weirdos but guess what??? you have proven that your state does too!
    Now im gonna go get all hopped up on moonshine and pick on the ol banjo..YEEE HAWWW!

  2. james

    nice tits.

  3. it's me fuckers

    52- I sure hope you lose your right to think for yourself. That would be the best thing to ever happen to you!! Seriously. What would Jesus do???? hahaha! You fuckin hater. Yup, I said hater. I wish upon you a gay child. I really do.

  4. it's me fuckers

    .

    I meant 51.

    You’re fine 52.

  5. betenoir

    #20

    Racists? No. WVs just don’t like pig snot! And Obama is the back end of pig snot.

    Just sayin….

  6. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    What ugly trashy people – only in America

  7. pat

    “It’s not about ratings,” A&E spokesman Michael Feeney said. “We know his heart. We know him and know he’s not a racist.”

    Well, hell, in that case A&E should give me a show. I’m not a racist. Not too many people would watch the boring stuff I do, but since they explicitly said it’s not about ratings that shouldn’t be a factor.

    I wonder if they use that “It’s not about ratings” expression when they are talking to advertisers.

  8. justifiable

    #51 We read, patty, but do YOU comprehend? He said that because 70% of the people with AIDS in this country are gay, but to characterize a disease with a color or sexual orientation is dumb because it always means idiots like you will take it literally. If by sheer dumb luck it had been introduced to the hetero community first, you could then call it a straight disease.

    The disease doesn’t exist BECAUSE of gay people – and in Africa, is it a gay disease or a black disease? It also doesn’t exist because it’s God’s punishment of gays. The people in the Middle Ages thought bubonic plague was God punishing them for their sins, I really thought we’d moved beyond that sort of blinkered pig-ignorant superstition. Unless you think God is currently punishing Africa for some massive sin? What the fuck sort of God do you worship, anyway? I hope I never meet him, is all I can say.

  9. Jessie

    Too bad Dog isn’t a black preacher…evidently if you are you can say whatever crazy racist hate filled shit you want and not only do you not lose your job, you get paid to go on speaking tours and give speaches to major networks. Plus, I have proof that crackers like Dog caused the sinking of the Titanic, WWII, teh extinction of the dinosaurs, rickets and that line of funky stuff that gets around toilet bowls.

  10. Chris

    I usually love the writer of this site. He brings massive lol’s. But he’s obviously far-left rootin tootin Liberal. Leave your politics off this site duder and stick to the funny.

  11. Chris

    I usually love the writer of this site. He brings massive lol’s. But he’s obviously a far-left rootin tootin Liberal. Leave your politics off this site duder and stick to the funny.

  12. Michael Knessler

    has anyone else noticed his walker texas ranger belt buckle? why has no one commented on it?

  13. justifiable

    #63 Because we’re all so distracted by the B-cup braless tits above it.

  14. m

    Thanks, K.
    The entire reason WEST virginia is a State and not part of Virginia was because they did not want to be part of the slaev-owning South.

  15. snarky

    I can’t believe people watch this show. He’s a tool, and beyond gross; nevermind his top heavy, nasty wife.

  16. Kmart

    OMG it’s my brother-in-law in ten years.

  17. TJ

    Wasn’t his pseudo-brother popped for jacking off in his pickup truck naked in a mall parking lot? What a great family….

    I do like to watch the show and see his wife Beth’s MASSIVE tits shake like jello. But, why does she dress like a street whore?

  18. InternetToughGuy

    West Virginia? Fuck you fish writer. Check around California for the real toothless rednecks. What’s next? Fucking sister jokes? Oh good one!!

  19. InternetToughGuy

    And to dumb asses arguing about left and right politics. You are stuck in a false paradigm, they are owned and run by the same handlers dumbasses. It’s called divide and conquer. They get all you lesser beings fighting over race, religion, celebrities (lol), shoe size or whatever else you mental lightweights argue about and rule over you. A population divided up into smaller subgroups is much easier to rule over than a united population isn’t it? You people are too ignorant to snap out of it. You don’t deserve to be saved from it.

  20. bosendorfer

    thanks for the midget, leathery, white-trash photo!

    looks like it’s time for mexican jail!

    there’s something almost mickey rourke about this.

    “dog” looks to have a week or two left to live before he spontaneously combusts or simply dry-rots. didn’t kerouac once joke that he was going to be “arrested for decay”? i think we have a winner!

  21. krystina

    Peter Griffin would be jealous of that side boob.

  22. cookie monsta

    so heres the CONCRETE proof that Britney was adopted … these guys HAVE TO BE the true biological donors right? truly a gorgeous pic !!

  23. Dakota

    Don’t make fun of dog because he is not rascist and not think its fair to make fun of someone who doesn’t deserve to be made of he said he was sorry if you want to make fun of someone than go make fun of someone Don’t ever make fun of him again or i’ll kick your asses bitches!!!!!

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