Dog figures out he’s not black after all

November 7th, 2007 // 136 Comments
1107_dog_not_black.jpg

Duane “Dog” Chapman appeared on Fox News’ Hannity & Colmes last night to apologize for his racist remarks and explain himself. Dog felt he had a “special connection” with black America and used to say “I’m black, too.”

“In other words, my whole life I’ve been called a half-breed, a convict, king of the trailer trash, this and that…so when I stood there and said, ‘I kind of know what you feel like, because I’ve been there, too,’ that I felt that I could embrace and like, as brothers…say the word.”

“I now learned I’m not black at all, and I never did it out of hate,” Chapman continued. “This sounds so stupid. I always did it out of love. Other white guys would be like, ‘Boy, who does Dog think he is? Dog can say that.’ And black guys would be with me and walk with me and respect me.

“So, I went too far with that.”

I’m going to go out on a limb here, but you know how Dog the Bounty Hunter could’ve figure out he’s not black? He could’ve, I dunno, maybe looked in a freaking mirror. Which I’ll assume he recently did and made a startling discovery: “What the hell am I wearing? This seems like an awful lot of leather. Is that an armband? And a fanny pack?! C’mon! Hey, wait a minute, this is strange. My skin, it’s white. And not black. That means I can’t say nig– Ho. Ly. Shit.”

superficial

  1. Duh

    dang, he’s wrinkly!!!

  2. Wait Dog’s not black. I wonder what gave it away.?

  3. Soy

    :)
    HotDOG
    !

  4. PunkA

    Dog looks like a rumplestillskin face.

    Dude needs to laser surgery on his face and a major lift.

  5. Dog

    So help me out, brah – when the fuck did niggas start watching A&E on their illegal cable hookups???

  6. Auntie Kryst

    What was the point of apologizing on Hannity & Colmes? No self respecting black person, or any person for that matter watches FOX News.

  7. TANISHA

    I love You DOG
    F.Y.I. his Sexy WRINKLES are Hot
    my black brothers don’t get any

  8. the white ghost of Johnny Cochran

    Yeah he’s dumb. It’s true he had a “special connection” with niggas. It’s called handcuffs. His job is putting the damn dirty apes back in prison, where they all belong. How could he possibly be confused about that?

  9. bb

    He looks like a pug. and the faux-hawk mullet is awful.

  10. David Duke

    #6 – he contacted BET about appearing on their news show, but they said “News??? Huh? You mean videos with strippers, right?”

  11. NastuaPowderPuffGirl

    his wrinkles are Cute like a puppy
    f.y.i.my asian brothers all look the same

  12. veggi

    can I hear a who gives a fuck?

    Paris is saving elephants from intoxication. It’s true. FOX news told me so!

  13. Big

    You could plant a crop of potatos between those wrinkles

  14. empress

    your post brought tears to my eyes.. i needed that

  15. jaybird

    I wish people would cut this guy a break. What he said was awful, but what his son did to him was worse. A lot of stuff is said within a family that should not be repeated, and his son went and recorded the conversation and sold it. That’s ridiculous. Hate your father all you want, but don’t totally ruin him because of a racist remark.

    I’m not saying the guy’s a saint, but he’s been through a lot in his life and I think he deserves to be forgiven.

  16. Inconsiderate Prick

    I wonder how deep he’s going to dig this hole before he gives up.

  17. fart knocker

    can you imagine tire-tread face and his wife with the freak-of-nature sized breasts bumping uglies? Vom!!!!

  18. Rose

    He’s full of CRAPPPP………………………..

  19. Bigheadmike

    He is dealing with people all day that just lie, cheat and steal……. Give him a break.

  20. AmeriCanadian

    fart knocker : Ewwwwwwwwww bumping UGLY indeed. Le Barf.

  21. bosendorfer

    Give this motherfucker a bath and a shave and some moisturizer, please. Next, send him back to Hawaii (?) with his fifth or sixth wife and their 10 collective children and leave them all there.

    THIS is what other nations and cultures see when they think of the United States.

    It’s not worth getting upset about. I know.

  22. 19- how big is your head?

  23. lamb

    Dog
    IS one Hot Man!~
    Put me on your Leash Dwaynneeeeeeeeeeeeeee’
    oooooooooooOO00000000000000DO ME OVER’NOVER….

  24. Me

    ummm, thats bullsh*t , no Black person is gonna think its ok for him to say that word and respect him for it. Anyways, I still don’t think his show should be cancelled. What good is that going to do?

  25. TV execs are pussies

    It was a private conversation. How many black actors have said “cracker” during private conversations? Probably 100%. And I have no problem with that. It’s not because I’m white and in the majority and not a victim of racism, it’s because I’m a grownup and I don’t believe that what people say in private conversations causes harm to me. If they do it in their roles as public figures, then fine, take ‘em down. People will always take shots and use slurs and talk trash in their private lives. The goal is to make them feel like they can’t do that on the job and get away with it. Requiring more than that is foolish and hypocritical.

  26. Petite0ne

    0hYeahfantisies of me & DwayneDAWWWWWWG
    mmmmMMMy favorite position is doggiestyle
    xoXOxo @ You Dwayne

  27. IWONKY

    TRASH

  28. Me

    #25 – I totally see what you mean, and I don’t think his show should get cancelled. But to tell you the truth, the only time i’ve heard Black people say cracker is when they’re talking about yummy crackers…like “can you pass me a cheese cracker?” or “i want ritz cracker’s in my chili’”.

  29. IWONKY

    THIS GUYS DESERVES TO LOSE EVERYTHING

  30. Terry

    poor guy
    REMEMBER
    IT WAS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION !
    His son is the Asshole

  31. Had to back and refresh my memory on what it was exactly he said:

    “I’m not taking a chance…not because she’s black but because we use the word n—er sometimes here. I’m not going to take any chance ever in life of losing everything I’ve worked for 30 years because some drunken n—er heard us say n—er and turned us into the Enquirer magazine…I’m not taking that chance at all never in life. Never…”

    Then I laughed, cause that is EXACTLY what happened to him, only it was his own SON who gave it to the Enquirer.

    Silly puppy…

  32. Big

    #19
    GO FIND A NEW NAME
    I AM THE ONLY BIG ON THIS BOARD

  33. Riotboy

    That’s ruff.

    /got nothing

  34. fred

    weird…all this time i thought he was black.

  35. veggi

    33- hahaha! goodun!

  36. The Negotiator

    Ok, here’s a proposal: let’s put a moratorium on punishing white folks for saying the n-word until the nigs reach a 90% non-incarcerated goal for their young males. Only 10% in prision – that’s pretty reasonable, don’t you think? I’m not being unrealistic and proposing that they stop dropping out of school, or failing to get and hold jobs, or going on welfare, or skipping out on all their illegitimate kids; just, you know, stop having criminals be such a large percentage of your overall population for the current generation. Reach that goal, and then we can return to making sure white guys don’t say a word you don’t like.

  37. IWONKY

    Knowing he is in the public eye, whatever the Dog felt, if he cared about his son, he would have held back on those words out of respect for him, not to hurt him by disrespecting his girlfriend on some cheap premise that “we say this word all the time”. If we remove the fact that she is black, this begins to make sense to some people.

  38. sad really

    if you squint he looks like a blonder, fairskin version of james brown.

  39. Me

    sooo number 36??? you’re lame

  40. IWONKY

    I’m sure the girlfriend has heard the word all her life and will survive. I have a son and I would never disrespect a girl he likes by calling her names. I treat the people I care about better than that. I think his son responded to an attack on his girlfriend and his choice of lifestyle. I think most people would respond in a very strong way to such an attack, like a reflex.

  41. live in the real world

    #37 please. “Knowing he is in the public eye, whatever the Dog felt” – he was in a heated PRIVATE conversation with a family member. Did he have the expectation of privacy? YES. Did he get worked up and lose his temper? YES. Does this happen in most families at some point? YES. Lots of dads wouldn’t have used the n-word, but plenty would get mad and tell their son to grow a backbone and not be a little bitch or a little faggot. So it would have been feminists or gay rights activists, not black activists, who got the show canceled. It’s absurd. You can’t require people to act like cameras are on them 24/7, in fact it’s a recipe for creating a phony (like Al Sharpton or the Clintons), and there’s absolutely nothing worse than that.

  42. IWONKY

    As for losing his show, I regroup. I don’t think he deserves to lose his show over this, since he obviously feels remorse over what he said….although I’m not too sure his head is screwed on tightly if he thinks he was ever black…,

  43. Midge

    IWONKY – great, you clearly seem to be a saint. Good for you. Like most saints, though, you seem to have no perspective on the struggles and failures in the daily lives of mere mortals.

  44. Buddha

    yea all you guys are weird

  45. Speaking for myself (and I am a black man) I am growing very weary of all of this nonsence. Why cant we all just get along.

  46. fearsarewishes

    Class, the topic is Macbeth and Dog, the Bounty Hunter. Please compare and contrast.

    Please, you cannot make this shit up.

  47. Roxy

    #36 is being a jerk, but I have to say I agree with the basic idea: black folks need to stop protesting these trivial incidents and get their own house in order. Sure, it’s effective these days in microscopic triumphs like getting Dog off the air (for now…), or Imus fired (but he’s back, isn’t he). But they’re empty victories. Everybody sees lots of young blacks acting like niggas, and older blacks are acting like they’re powerless to do anything about it. So up goes the smoke and mirrors show. It’s an entertaining but at the end of the day, nobody really believes that words are the problem.

  48. I’ve done it with a black guy AND with a dog, and I can tell you that I didn’t confuse the two of them for one second.

  49. Lily

    To the cruel and ignorant people who left comments number 5 and 8, I feel so sad for you. Not only are you ignorant but you are living in denial. Grow up, open a book, open your minds, and pray that GOD forgives you for having hate in your heart. The world is made up of many beautiful people of all different colors.

  50. Me

    I loosely agree with Roxy, but Black people aren’t the ones who got Dogs show cancelled, it was his tv superiors and execs that pulled the show to avoid bad recognition. However, Black people did rally for the Don Imus fiasco, and he (Imus) was wrong for what he said too, but again his show should not have been cancelled. Also, I am an individual with my life together, and I don’t like to be categorized in any “what Black people need to do” speeches. In that case there should be a similar rhetoric for every ethnicity.

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