‘Do These Look Big Enough? I Can Never Tell.’

September 14th, 2010 // 256 Comments

Sorry to hit you with two Heidi Montag posts today, but – *points up* – those.

Apparently before leaving Costa Rica, Heidi took time to pose on the beach in a bikini that could barely contain her massive jugs, or she horribly underestimated their ability to take on sea water. I’m of two minds on the subject. That said, I know I should be sick of seeing this chick parade around in swimwear, yet here I am staring like I’ve never undressed my cousin’s Barbies. Just last night. (I need help.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. J.E.B.

    She almost lost her bikini top in the ocean? Next time, try harder, Heidi!

  2. Shaina

    WHY ARE WE STILL HAVING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS WOMAN?? Heidi , you’re 15 mins are long over!!

  3. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Brian0523
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the Michael Jackson nose bandages? LMFAO
    And this cnut still has cottage cheese all over her backside! Nasty.
    Bitch should demand a refund from her dead doctor’s estate.

  4. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Miss M
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she is actually really hot. Totally a different person with makeup, though hot.

  5. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Gloria
    Commented on this photo:

    The black roots are a really nice touch. As for the fake boobs and the tenie bikini tops inability to contain them? There probably isn’t a trailer big enough to contain that! And just when the name of Anna Nicole hasn’t been mentioned in forever!

  6. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    kit
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the hell would you go strapless with huge boobs? Always a no-no. She looks scary without makeup, the bottom half of her face is too large compared to the top half with her modified jaw and pumped up lips…

  7. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    DK
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what anyone says, Heidi is HOT!

  8. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    l. iglesias
    Commented on this photo:

    it looks like shes cradling a small child lmao

  9. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    LB
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks pretty damn good to me. Though knowing her history doesn’t help. @Brian0523, almost all women have a little, and it is good, not bad. You’ll find out one day buddy. In the mean time hit the gym. You’re probably not so perfect yourself.

  10. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    linni
    Commented on this photo:

    not that im a fan but Heidi Montag, what were you thinking. when you did the first ones they were big enough now im sorry but to big.

  11. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Cunfusedashell
    Commented on this photo:

    What is wrong with this chicks nose? Does she have the Michael Jackson nose job?

  12. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    lynn
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidi, you look so stupid. You looked much better before.

  13. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    daysee
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like she is trying to pull down her top in one off the photo’s.

  14. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    SickOfHer
    Commented on this photo:

    So this chick spends all this money on plastic surgeries (that, IMHO, make her look ridiculous), but she can’t color the roots of her hair? Trash with a capital T.

  15. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Chinny
    Commented on this photo:

    GOOD LORD! She looks terrible! But I gotta say the one amazing thing she does have is a good make-up artist, because she is a mess without make-up. She looks like a different person. She’s a liitle girl with big fake boobies and she can’t handle them. She looks rediculous!!!!!!!

  16. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Chinny
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Heidi, PLEASE be joking!

  17. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Chinny
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf, she can not handle those big boobies!

  18. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Monkeyman
    Commented on this photo:

    I have serious doubts this is HM.

  19. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Gordon Gekko
    Commented on this photo:

    C’mon . . . they are not even real . . .

  20. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    tim c
    Commented on this photo:

    listen to you people who like those fat raunchy disgusting stinky asses this is for you small ass is a tasty one we men who love that are quite happy with it and then theres those of you that pile on the cologne to make ALL THAT STINKY ASS

  21. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    tim c
    Commented on this photo:

    CONTINUED YOU GUYS THINK A FAT ASS IS ALL THAT ITS FAST FOOD AND NON WASHED SHITBALLS THAT WELL YOU OTHER BOYS JUST LOVE TO EAT YOU ARE DISGUSTING AND SO ARE THE FAT BITHES WALKING AROUND WITH THEM LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

  22. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    in all honesty , she looks good for now!

  23. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Mr. Maira
    Commented on this photo:

    She is an average looking Cum Dumster which means every Man on the Internet Interested in Women would do her !! Trash goes in the Garbage afterwards !!!

  24. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Mr. Maira
    Commented on this photo:

    BOZO BITCH, ALL I SEE IS FAKE HAIR COLOR !!!! LOOK AT THE FILTH !!!! YOU KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO BE FILMED AND YOUR ROOTS ARE A FOOT LONG ????

  25. bob gomez

    What a mess she has turned out to be . When she first started out I thought wow finally I naturally loooking hot actress like the girl next only smoking hot. Then she starts getting all the work done and crappy work to boot. I am a male so I dont really have personal experience but how do you lose you top swimming. I guess if you have your photograher on the beach waiting for so good PR shots then it might come undone yeah right.

  26. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    we
    Commented on this photo:

    What a great actress she is; so totally faking like her top was accidentally pulled down; what an attention whore

  27. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    jamie
    Commented on this photo:

    I dont even think this is really heidi looks NOTHING like her.. hot body from the front end.. back side..ok , face… less than average

  28. bsti

    Damn the torpedo’s. Release the pontoons as those things have to be bouyant and impossible to swim with!

  29. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    sal the fish
    Commented on this photo:

    Let those puppies breathe.

  30. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Grossed Out
    Commented on this photo:

    “oh my! my top has fallen off! i’m so shocked and embarassed!” (sounds of me gagging at this ridiculous and desperate spectacle.)

  31. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    sandy
    Commented on this photo:

    SHE LOOKS HORRIBLE!!! IS IT ME OR DOES SHE HAVE UGLY A** FAT LEGS??? She forgot to suck the fat out of those, maybe she can do that next time she goes in to get bigger boobs (because they’re not big enough right?)

  32. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    dotdotdot
    Commented on this photo:

    So fake. The tits. The photo op. She looks retarded.

  33. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    paul
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep,…. She realy is a skank,…. I for one am sick and tired of the relentless barage of peoples opions from some magazine about what they think we want to see,… Here’s an old one that I live by,.. why eat hamburger out side,.. when I have steak at home,… there are more beautiful unknowns walking the street’s everyday and here are these A-hole publisist’s showing us this crap! Heidi montag should just go away like all of the rest of the plastic barbies,
    Barbie never did anything for me anyway.

  34. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    butt
    Commented on this photo:

    she oddviously did this on purpose that look in her face does not say opps it says stick a d in my month

  35. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Granted
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s faking it. Just in it for the attention. Imagine that from a reality tv personality (disorder).

  36. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    rob bang
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh Pleasssse. She’s covering up her tits when she knows full we’ll the world will see them when she does the Playboy spread if she hasn’t already done it.

  37. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    horsefaceskank
    Commented on this photo:

    so much photoshop goin on the whole background had to be removed ahahahaha….
    between creating a neck & erasing half the jaw to do it & the ridiculous expressions she looks like a horse ….
    the head is waaaaay too large for the tiny legs …
    don’t know who she’s kiddin’ with them rockhard clown boobs , it’s disgustin’ ..
    dayum..

  38. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    srslycereal
    Commented on this photo:

    say ahhhh ;{D

  39. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    chelsea
    Commented on this photo:

    Is anybody else curious about the random white patch on her stomach?

  40. Krys

    She has a hotter body now, but her mug looked better before. The only thing wrong with her then was that nose and that huge jaw/chin. After she fixed the nose, she looked great. The chin/jaw shit still looks the same. Now the rest of her face looks fucked when she’s not wearing makeup. Women should just learn that a boob and nose job is the way to go. If you need anything else, shit is pointless.

  41. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    James
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so hot! MAN I WOULD LIKE TO TITTYFUCK HER!!!

  42. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    James
    Commented on this photo:

    My dick in her asshole. the tittyfuck and cum in her mouth :D

  43. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    James
    Commented on this photo:

    AWESOME!

  44. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    James
    Commented on this photo:

    wow tittyfuck JUST FUCKING GRAB THOSE TITS AND SUCK EM!! OH YEAH!

  45. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    she has that nipple securely in the middle of her palm….no way she is going to let it loose. what a fucking tease.

  46. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    sum
    Commented on this photo:

    has anyone noticed this, whats up with her nose for one and her right boob looks bigger then the left… i mean it might be the camera angle but sheesh… she is one sad individual

  47. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Jennifer
    Commented on this photo:

    So, let’s get this straight, she can afford all the surgery but CAN’T get her roots done?(pic 2)And all the surgery in the world still doesn’t fix what a tube of mascara and lipstick still does for the girl.

  48. SGzzy

    All I gotta say is after all those surgeries, and all that hair bleaching DAMN U STILL UUGGLLYY!!!!!

    Holly, take notes: Everything your sisters done do the opposite!! You still have your looks, pride, and good sense of what family is all about!!

    P.S. Spencer you SUCK DI*# and you are UGLY as FU#*!!! Put the dope down and get your sh*t together!!! FREAKSHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  49. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    chelsea
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she pooted down the side of her left leg.

  50. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    scarleth
    Commented on this photo:

    to mucho boobs :|

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