‘Do These Look Big Enough? I Can Never Tell.’

September 14th, 2010 // 256 Comments

Sorry to hit you with two Heidi Montag posts today, but – *points up* – those.

Apparently before leaving Costa Rica, Heidi took time to pose on the beach in a bikini that could barely contain her massive jugs, or she horribly underestimated their ability to take on sea water. I’m of two minds on the subject. That said, I know I should be sick of seeing this chick parade around in swimwear, yet here I am staring like I’ve never undressed my cousin’s Barbies. Just last night. (I need help.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Commented on this photo:

    That bottom looks very Kardashian like… Makes you wonder what material Kim’s butt is made of.

  2. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Commented on this photo:

    Just let them out, don’t hold ‘em.

  3. Al

    Based on #11, I’d say that she’s planning to give Kim Kardashian a run for her money in the lard ass department.
    If you didn’t know the history of this science experiment, you might find it somewhat sexy. As it stands, it is utterly bizarre, and a total turn-off.

  4. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Sweekes
    Commented on this photo:

    Now she has to wear tape on her nose to keep it on her face like Michael Jackson.

  5. timmy the dying boy

    Jesus Christ, those tits are stupid.

  6. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Jakester
    Commented on this photo:

    Starting to get a bit too much ass flab there. Time to hit the gym if you want to stay in the news!

    I like how shes freaking out about losing her top which is firmly in place until she pulls her own tit out. Good job!

  7. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    IamLegend
    Commented on this photo:

    the attenton whore started to lose her top during this & dipped down into the water giving the fish a view that destroyed all marine life for miles around….she & BP will kill off the oceans of the world

  8. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Luther Martin
    Commented on this photo:

    She is still amazing lovely.

    What if Spenser is ruthlessly blackmailing and manipulating her and she is not his willing collaborator as everyone assumes?

    Think Star80.

  9. Vito

    Under-boobage = very sexy

    Lovely round ass = erotic as hell

    Cumming in Heidi’s mouth = my destiny!

  10. Joelseph

    Everytime I see a picture of Heidi now I think, “is this a picture from right after her surgeries?” Her face is a swollen mess.

  11. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    pookiewookie
    Commented on this photo:

    Her parents should have disciplined her more when she was young. What a messed up girl!

  12. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Mary
    Commented on this photo:

    This girl is SO hot, regrowth, nose tape…. who cares? I’d do anything to be rockin’ that body!

  13. captain america

    pst: THEY FORGOT HER SKULL.
    (it still is empty)

  14. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Rabbit
    Commented on this photo:

    God I love her!

  15. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Don
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn. That’s it. I really REALLY want to hit it now.

  16. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Jester
    Commented on this photo:

    Fng gorgeous, I love this chick, yes she is stupid, but look at those tits!!!

  17. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    u no wut u r
    Commented on this photo:

    When she is holding her tits like that with that look on her face I want to rub my dick all over my screen. Seriously. I finished on my PC.

  18. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    u no wut u r
    Commented on this photo:

    I can has please?

  19. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL,”$99″,Designer L-u-x-u-r-y H-a-n-d-b-a-g-s,search (” N_i_c_e_g_r_a_d_e_b_a_g_s “) on goo-gle
    All products are 30%-70% off,only $99,get a l-u-x-u-r-y h-a-n-d-b-a-g-s
    as Lo-uis Vui-tton,Ch-anel,Gu-cci.etc

  20. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL,”$99″,Designer L-u-x-u-r-y H-a-n-d-b-a-g-s,search (” N_i_c_e_g_r_a_d_e_b_a_g_s “) on goo-gle
    All products are 30%-70% off,only $99,get a l-u-x-u-r-y h-a-n-d-b-a-g-s
    as Lo-uis Vui-tton,Ch-anel,Gu-cci.etc

  21. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL,”$99″,Designer L-u-x-u-r-y H-a-n-d-b-a-g-s,search (” N_i_c_e_g_r_a_d_e_b_a_g_s “) on goo-gle
    All products are 30%-70% off,only $99,get a l-u-x-u-r-y h-a-n-d-b-a-g-s
    as Lo-uis Vui-tton,Ch-anel,Gu-cci.etc

  22. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL,”$99″,Designer L-u-x-u-r-y H-a-n-d-b-a-g-s,search (” N_i_c_e_g_r_a_d_e_b_a_g_s “) on goo-gle
    All products are 30%-70% off,only $99,get a l-u-x-u-r-y h-a-n-d-b-a-g-s
    as Lo-uis Vui-tton,Ch-anel,Gu-cci.etc

  23. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL,”$99″,Designer L-u-x-u-r-y H-a-n-d-b-a-g-s,search (” N_i_c_e_g_r_a_d_e_b_a_g_s “) on goo-gle
    All products are 30%-70% off,only $99,get a l-u-x-u-r-y h-a-n-d-b-a-g-s
    as Lo-uis Vui-tton,Ch-anel,Gu-cci.etc

  24. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Livinius Nwambe
    Commented on this photo:

    Pssh… I don’t care what y’all say about her face being busted, etc. I’d tap that like an epileptic telegraph operator. An amazing ass, great tits, and pic #4 doesn’t hurt either.

  25. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Alexa
    Commented on this photo:

    you can still see where her fake butt dimples out over the top of her real butt at the curve.

  26. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Alexa
    Commented on this photo:

    i like her, but what the fuck is all over her nose… sunscreen? clay? sand? bad bout with microdermabrasion? confused

    • Jaimie

      She said in an article a few months ago that she continues to wear the tape from her surgery on her nose..

  27. cc

    The fake boobs are a bit much, and she’s only so-so looking without make up…but from the ribcage down she has a great figure from the front and back. I’d be delighted to get her naked ass into bed.

  28. Dick Face

    This bitch plays with her tits more than her douche bag husband…WTF, share bitch share!

  29. Donna Cakes

    I wish she and her crazy husband would go away !!

  30. leah

    Dog Face.

  31. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    JASPER
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still eat that ass.

  32. paco

    she is a freak . but i still will hit it. hard and from behind.

  33. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    mer
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the most fake “surprised” face I have ever seen. Yes, I like how she looks after surgery much better but the way she acts now is gross to say the least. Someone needs to deflate that big head of hers.

  34. Willy Wonka

    and I just lost my lunch…

  35. A comfortable environment where you can meet singles who understand that love has a language that transcends race.

    ^^^^^^M I X E D M A T E*C~ 0~ M^^^^^^

    is an exclusive online community designed to help diversely ethnic singles meet new friends, make great dates, and build lasting interracial relationships. Meet like minded singles who are looking to date outside their race.
    You are just seconds away from taking that first step towards the life you have been longing for. So sign up for your free profile now.

  36. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    yowillie
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs a pearl necklace.

  37. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Websters'
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to introduce her to some surprise sex…or have a snuggle struggle with her…

  38. moncler

    Moncler has been the trend among the world of fashion and one of the best down brands all over the world. Whether Moncler Jackets for women or for men, they are provided for cheap for 100% sure. In
    Moncler Outlet , you can change from a plain passer-by to an attractive and stylish avant-garde right away!
    Moncler Coats on sale ensure you buy the most satisfying apparel ever in your life. And still with affordable price and exqusite quality. Pair them with Moncler Boots on, you’d be the marvelously outstanding one among the crowds. One thing can’t be left out falls to Moncler Vest , which claims to be the most flexible moncler equipments innovated ever.

  39. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    prada bags
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe you will get what you want.

  40. Choc DOnut

    a great body is only sexy to me if A. I might get near it or B. It’s a natural gift, like Jessica Alba. Heidi is so worthless besides her body that it makes looking at her like looking at a nice car I dont want – I just can’t care. The only thing this woman is good at is selling her body, and she’s not even good at that, because she’s with another stupid, vapid guy who will prob dump her at the first sign she’s getting old/ugly/poor at which point she might figure out what a wackjob she is. If she’s not shooting a show or a movie, she isn’t making money. Searching out publicity means the end must be near. We’ll see.

  41. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    IKE
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, I am really digging this natural Heidi look! The plastic look is “neat”….., but this natural look says I’m doable! :)

  42. dana

    she is going more and more crazy! what have she done to her self?!?!!

  43. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    dana
    Commented on this photo:

    lol!! 45% heidi 55% plastic surgery!!!!!!!!!!!

  44. Rb

    Why is she so worried about losing her top? She had those puppies pumped up so people would notice them. So now she is worried about someone seeing them. Get a life you dizzy dame. If you dont want them seen then be sure to have proper coverage and holding devices in place when at the beach or any where else that they might make an escape!!!!

  45. So she has those puppies pumped up so people will “notice” then when she has a near loss of bikini top she freaks out because prople do notice.If she does’nt want them to get loose and be seen then she needs to cover them properly as well as get some attaching devices to keep bikini in place. Or just go to a beach that allows topless females!!
    I think that it is a publicity manuver, she is an attention monger. Bottom line, who really gives a hoot?

  46. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Bebe
    Commented on this photo:

    All we need is the shark fin approaching from behind and the theme from Jaws. Chomp!

  47. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    ttrexxx
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s got a pretty mouth..lol

  48. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    ttrexxx
    Commented on this photo:

    just how big can her ass get..dammm

  49. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    MyBallsKatesChin
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidis tits are almost as big as Kate Gosslins!

  50. Heidi Montag Bikini Wardrobe Malfunction
    Jim
    Commented on this photo:

    Cosmetic surgery is available to everyone. The Bottom line: She looks remarkable.

Leave A Comment