DMX must wake up each morning and wonder ‘Hmm. What time will I get arrested today?’

August 14th, 2008 // 123 Comments

DMX must really like getting arrested. In fact, I’m willing to go so far to say he should marry getting arrested. He was picked up yesterday at an Arizona Wal-Mart after he failed to show up for a court hearing on Tuesday for his animal-cruelty and drug-possession case. E! Online reports:

Although DMX’s attorney did appear on his client’s behalf Tuesday afternoon to provide documentation that his client couldn’t make it because he was hospitalized in Miami (he wouldn’t say why, though), the judge opted to issue a bench warrant anyway and raise his bond to $25,000.

And just in case DMX’s lawyer doesn’t have a big enough ulcer, the rapper has another court hearing next week:

“We are in court again next week on other matters, and my hope is we can get the warrant resolved by then and get back on track,” he said. “We have some things in the works to get the warrant taken care of. My hope is that we can resolve it without an arrest, but he’s been arrested at the airport before, so they obviously have an eye out for him, so I’m not sure.”

I’m pretty sure the only place DMX hasn’t been arrested is outer space. Even then it’s only a matter of time until he’s picked up on the Hubble Telescope. And by a matter of time I mean Tuesday.


  1. juande


  2. Lorrie

    What , no picture of him in a bikini? I was under the impression that ‘s all this site showed – bikini pics.

  3. Rant

    I must be a douche and say FIRST! God, I hate the pricks who have to say that. Stop it is not cute or funny. It’s like the only time they are first at anything in their life. So yes I am pissing all over your claim to fame. And if my diatribe ends up second or third I stand by words.

  4. Barak Obama

    How can a black celebrity get arrested in these days?

  5. mamaaaa

    HAHAHAHAAAA DMX is my dream boy

  6. Oh and to think he looks like such a sweet boy [/sarcasm]

  7. Oh well, another “has-been-Jet-Li-movie-sidekick-rapper” bites the dust. Good riddance. I guess he must’ve burned through all that money paying child support like John Edwards.

  8. Smile

    Them prizon meals mmm-mmm so good! Gotto save me so moneyz on food to buy me new rimz, boy.

  9. rough daddy

    “Keep it real” DMX, even if you dont have any projects in the works….

  10. Mel Gibson

    Is there any state where I purchase and keep him as a slave? I will chain him to the wall and feed him fake cheese from Western Beef and crack rocks to keep him alive. Then, I can turn away from my plasma TV every few hours and have a good life.

  11. veggi

    The mistake they keep making is holding court hearings and using jail or prison as punishment. His type can’t understand court hearings, and they feel right at home in prison with all their brothers. What he needs is a really good surf session behind a pickup over an old, long, crumbly asphalt street. Works every time.

  12. literarycritic

    Well, the racists have come out of the woodwork again. Anybody got some Raid?

  13. Jesse Sharpton

    Q: What’s DMX up to these day?
    A: Seven to Ten Years in the State Prison.

  14. Androo

    Why is DMX in a Walmart…?

  15. dirt chicken

    @ 15

    Isn’t it obvious ?

    To steal something of course ! He IS black after all …..

  16. bootlips

    He’s keeping it real. He’s acting like a neeger. Low life scum monkey who is nothing but a pain in the ass of humans. Now we may get a monkey President. How the hell does that happen?. Every coon in my neighborhood is lowlife scum who doesn’t know how to behave. They’re all criminals who look like monkeys. They all have a fowl odor and would kill anyone for 5 dollars. There’s a reason why every neeger neighborhood is a ghetto. It’s all about behavior. The monkeys just can’t behave like human beings. Once they become a high percentage of any neighborhood, that neighborhood crumbles from violent crime. We still make them out to be victims even though they are the ones victimizing any human that dares to go for a walk at night. They can’t speak properly, they never give anything to society, they look like apes, they act like apes, they rape, steal, kill, and assault, and yet, they are victims.

  17. You have to practice what you preach right??? OH and #17, you are a jaw dropping idiot. I hate following your stupidity and ignorance…..

  18. Deacon Jones

    “Y’all gonna make me comment my mind, up in here, up in HERE, y’all gonna…..”

    ah fuck it, nevermind

  19. ramalamadingdong

    #17 – you hit it right on the head. i couldn’t have said it better myself. fucking negroes fuck up EVERYTHING they come in contact with. it is repulsive. we should send them all back to africa. you know, because they love it so much even though they’ve never been there. well……i don’t know……can you buy a plane ticket with food stamps??

  20. ramalamadingdong

    Fine, I’ll admit, I hate negroes because well let’s face it, I’m hideous. Sure when I was younger I fucked more black guys than Uncle Sam, but that’s before I doubled my weight. I’d go to Africa myself, but I seem to exceed the allowable weight and would have to be transported in a crate. Now the the only ding-dongs this ho-ho gets are from a box.

    In other news, my arms are so fat, I can’t reach my own pockets.

  21. ramalamadingdong

    #21, my loveable little troll, is your real name sarah? the tranny lover???

    and i really hate negroes because they drain society. i pay taxes so that these fuckers can continue to have sex without birth control and pop out 18 niglets and get welfare. they have nice cars, because that is all they care about. black men run from responsibility and never pay for their spawns. (look in your sunday local newspaper – how many WHITE people are getting married as opposed to BLACK people?) they play their music so loud you can’t ride down the road with your windows rolled down. they can’t wear their pants around their waists – i’m sorry, but i don’t want to see your skid marks from your fried chicken dumps. they have terrible hygeine – the women don’t shave their legs or armpits. their breath is heinous, you can smell it from across the room. and they have no respect for anyone – not even themselves. so fuck off all you ‘peace and love’ tree huggers. this world will continue to go to hell in a hand basket if we keep allowing these drains to have so many ‘advantages’ handed to them by our government.

  22. ummm...yeah

    The only ppl black ppl hurt are themselves, whereas white ppl hurt everyone else. White ppl are the only race that BREEDS seriel killers, eats the flesh of thier own kind, and basically fucks up the earth…and yet they are superior?
    Fuckin white ppl have a hell of alot of nerve. Go fuck your sheep so you can spread more diseases and shut the fuck up.

  23. #23 IS A RETARD

    you are seriously fucked up in the head. i believe it was a n*gger that fucked an ape and came back here with AIDS stupid asshole.

  24. Dirt Chicken

    @ 23 I just wish that blacks would hurry up and kill each other off already ! It’s a shame that the reproduce at a rate ten times greater than they murder each other. FYI : there are entire tribes of cannibalistic negroes still to this day – that negates one sicko fag white guy – it just baffles me that he actually prefered the dark meat – I’d think it would be gamey … anyway …. keep reaching for the stars you monkey !

    TNB all over again !

  25. ramalamadingdong

    Actually, I hate negroes because I’m an idiot with no relevant opinion. My therapy is meth and glory holes. And masturbation.

  26. ummm...yeah

    Truth hurts doesn’t it , Dick for brains? hahahaa

  27. Dirt Chicken

    @ 27 You capitalized ‘Dick’ … you must be a negro.

  28. Jessay Jackalson

    It’s all about racism and keeping the brothers down. No justice, no peace.

  29. ramalamadingdong

    I’m white. This means that even though my race has just as much trailer-living, Cheeto-eating, cousin-fucking, beyond-retarded trash in it as any other, and even though all the most fucked up people throughout all of Western history have been of my race, including Hitler and 99% of all serial killers ever, I am inherently better than any person with a greater amount of melanin in their skin.

    Why? I don’t know! I just believe what all my stupid, sheltered, hick family members have ALWAYS believed! I can’t think for myself and though I have never even exchanged more than ten words with a black person, I sure know what all of them are like! Because they’re all the same!

  30. Barely Stearn

    If the forecasts are correct white America will be the MINORITY by 2050. F*ck me: I can’t wait! Then I’ll be allowed to spit in the eye of some weak ass judge in multiple districts and do whatever the hell I please – society be damned!

    Is it racist to accurately point out that every five minutes we are barraged by news that some prominent black guy has (Take your pick!) – Done some unspeakable thing to an animal, beat the living shit out of his wife/girlfriend, fathered (multiple) child(ren) he’ll either likely never support or parent. Lost his lifetime earnings to drugs or buying mansions by the shitload and living incredibly beyond the means of even a freaking billionaire, pulled a gun, caused a fight, I mean Jesus H.! The list is freaking endless… This is exactly the kind of bullshit behavior that the great American Dr. Bill Cosby is railing against: This has now become standard operating procedure for black males in our society and it is either tacitly or outright condoned by black society. I am now far less concerned about a stray pitbull than I am about the black male who walks shoulder to shoulder with me on our streets. Shall I assume that THIS guy is the one black guy in America who is NOT “carrying a piece”, angling for a fight/confrontation, looking to steal my drug stash, wants to bang my wife and piss on her because her ass reminds him of Kim Kardashian’s?!?
    Sure, the knee jerk reaction here is to bash the “racists” but come on all you guilty white libs: Is it really racist to point out that black men in this country – rich or poor – feel a sense of entitlement that is getting down right scary as it relates to what it can mean for the safety of the community as a WHOLE?

    I literally can’t even begin to tally up DMX’s track record as it relates to all matters justice but – this has gotten to be a joke and a terrible example for black youth in that they will justifiably think that it’s perfectly normal to spend your days on this planet in and out of the court system like you or I use the shitter…Mind boggling. Simply mind boggling.

    …and stop blaming us for the commentary in these posts: I will assume Fish knows EXACTLY what he’s doing by delivering this information!

  31. literarycritic

    “Sure, the knee jerk reaction here is to bash the ‘racists’ but come on all you guilty white libs: Is it really racist to point out that black men in this country – rich or poor – feel a sense of entitlement that is getting down right scary as it relates to what it can mean for the safety of the community as a WHOLE?”

    Yes. It is racist, and so are you.

  32. #31

    You just said everything I was thinking but was too damn lazy to type. Thank you.

  33. Barely Stearn

    #32 – If I’m racist then what does that say about the black community’s leaders who are saying the very same things I’m saying? Are they self hating blacks? YOU are the problem here: YOUR response clearly indicates that you are prepared to accept any variety of poor societal behavior lest you be labeled UN-”PC”.
    Full disclosure: I’ll be voting for Barrack Obama. Will you???

  34. Jessay Jackalson

    America will be a third world country by 2050. Whites get ready to flee to Australia or Europe. Maybe head north to Canada and regroup. Asians go back to Asia. Make sure the nukes are dismantled first so the losers can’t blow up the world before they starve to death

  35. literarycritic

    @#34: It’s racist to explain or attribute behavior based on race. That’s what you’re doing, and anyone who says anything similar is doing the same thing.

    Skin color has no inherent relationship with criminality, or any other personality trait, positive or negative.

    To argue otherwise is RACIST.

  36. Mark B

    Holy shit… when did the Arizona Wal Mart start selling Hennessy?

  37. The Laughing G-D

    Anonymity + audience + racist inclination = most of the ethnic based comments on superfish.

    Fess up, none of you are that mentally impaired enough to actually say any of these comments out load to anyone who might assume you are talking to them. You, you people in your small towns, or middle management corporate offices. You people who are unimportant, you, to whom existence you matter not. Cower behind the safety of the internet; let your true thoughts betray everything you pretend to be. Ultimately it is not your own fault, your sickness is learned, not ingrained. A debt in time has been made by the sins of your fathers and their fathers. When your children’s judgment comes, know that you cannot save them, know that it is not on action, know that it is on intention of thought, know that you didn’t break the cycle, so you too share the blame.

  38. Barely Stearn

    I admit, the only black people are know are the managers I work for at McDonalds. And that one cop that arrested me for buying weed from him.

  39. bootlips

    The funny thing about negroes is they hate living with each other because of the poverty, violence, starvation, chaos, and overall filth, then they find their way to white society and are fed, educated, housed, given money, and much safer, yet, they eventually act like typical negroes and drive white people from the neighborhood and end up living like dogs again. Then, they demand to have negro leaders and the whole place turns to crap again. The negro will always live like animals. 1000 years from now they’ll still be nappy headed monkeys who have no control over themselves. I wonder who’ll they’ll blame then?

  40. bootlips

    The funny thing about me is that I hate living with my mom. She’s always trying to come down into the basement when I’m masturbating. I really can’t blame her, though, since I’m always doing it. It must be the black people’s fault. If it weren’t for the fact that Grandma fucked one I wouldn’t want to do it all the time. Damn animal genes.

  41. Barak Obama

    Calling someone a racist these days is as common as breathing. Don’t agree with something someone says, call them a racist. Don’t like the fact that the obvious is being pointed out, call them a racist. Calling someone a racist is a last ditch effort by the liberals. Funny, you almost never hear a conservative call someone a racist.

    Jessie Jackson and Al sharpton are as big a “racist” as Dog the Bounty Hunter.

  42. The Laughing G-D

    Acquired Immune Deficiency. The only people who have some immunity to it are those who are descended from individuals who survived the black plaque. Those individuals existing largely in northern Europe. Simians do have their own immune deficiency. However, viruses are very host specific. They are host specific, because they need to carry the DNA structure of the host type, have receptor the correct receptor bind sites [which would vary from genus to genus], and have the correct DNA or RNA polymerase [which would again vary from genus to genus]. Suffice to say a human being cannot contract a virus from sheep, or a pig, or something outside of its genus, neither can those animals or any animal contract a virus from a human being… That is it say, not without help of some kind. We have a sect of white people, who, by in large, have an immunity to AIDS and AIDS’ running rampant in largely Black countries and societies, specifically Africa, the only country that white world powers were ultimately unable to conquer due to size and number of indigenous people. Did I forget to mention that there is not one incident of Europeans engaging with any other group of people without spreading disease, war, pestilence, famine or plague? In their 2008 year history not one incident deviates from this prospectus [fueled by their innate greed], not one.

  43. Barely Stearn

    #36 – I don’t believe that is what I was doing: I am simply stating that black society is in crisis due to poor behavior by black males: Google the stats: OVER 10 percent of black males betweeen the ages of 25-29 were incarcerated. According to the Justice Policy Institute in 2002, the number of black males in prison is FIVE times the rate of 20 years previous. There are now more black males in prison than in college!
    I was also pointing out that for whites I imagine it is hard when news images of poor lifestyle choices by prominent black males are continually spalshed across media outlets… I mean, it’s pretty much the same feeling I get when I see news about the Catholic church: I just expect the words Catholic priest and pedophile to be used in the same sentence…
    If pointing out these stats is racist than I guess I better don the white hood – but how will I fit my head in the voter’s booth when I vote for Barrack….?

  44. ramalamadingdong

    Barely Stearn – i agree with you 100%. you are not being a racists by pointing out the facts. it is known throughout this country that the majority (and it’s a pretty high percentage folks) of crime is committed by the black race. i mean, i am a racist and will be until the day i leave this earth, but what Barely is saying is not a racist comment. just pointing out the hard core facts is all. so own up to the fact that you people (yeah i said it) will be nothing more than bottom feeders for all of eternity.

    love you, troll #26 and 30 :)

  45. literarycritic

    @#42: “Funny, you almost never hear a conservative call someone a racist.”

    I wonder why that is.

  46. Barely Stearn

    #39 – That”s some funny shit: Now go run along – the adults want to talk…

  47. Randi Lamkins

    he should marry getting arrested!!! classic!

  48. The Laughing G-D

    In fact, so ingrained is this sickness, so steeped is their ignorance, that physical manifestations of the religious icons [that majority of them pretend to worship], take on attributes of white Europeans despite the fact that the back drop of all the events of this book is in Africa!! By all that is holy or unholy! Someone please tell me where, who, or what allows a collective of people to read the lines “hair of wool and feet of bronze” and then make statues, paintings, murals, and the like, featuring people with European features?! I must find it, bottle it, sell it to politicians, who wish to take office; pop stars, looking for that last extra bump to push them ahead of the pack; sports figures, who love nothing more than the adoration of the crowd!

    Meh, not that it matters anyway. According to the historical accord Jesus didn’t exist. The Christian Bible [The New Testament and Jesus] is a plagiarism of The Hebrew Bible [The Old Testament and Joseph], while The Hebrew Bible is a plagiarism of various Egyptian Cults. So everything new is African again.

  49. bootlips

    Black women are beautiful. Here’s what I like:

    1. Those nappy heads. Yes, that tight black pubic hair on their heads is so sexy. I love how water beads on it.

    2. The wide noses with flaring nostrils. They’re so sexy. It’s like f*cking an ape.

    3. Big Mr. Potato Head lips. Chap stick, anyone?

    4. Big, dull, shit colored eyes. They don’t sparkle and look all feminine.

    5. The muscular legs. Who needs feminie shapely legs? Give me linebacker legs on a woman anytime.

    6. Flapjack tits with black dots. Who needs perky tits when you can look like cow?

    7. Black as night skin. It’s so cool how you can’t see it at night.

    8. Lower face that protrudes outward. It’s so cool how it looks monkeylike.

    9. Loud and obnoxious behavior. It makes getting pregnant easier. Who needs an education when you can scream at your little niglets.

    10. Big fat asses. It looks great when pushing a little monkey carriage. It takes away from your simian features.

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