DMX must wake up each morning and wonder ‘Hmm. What time will I get arrested today?’

The Superficial / August 14, 2008

DMX must really like getting arrested. In fact, I’m willing to go so far to say he should marry getting arrested. He was picked up yesterday at an Arizona Wal-Mart after he failed to show up for a court hearing on Tuesday for his animal-cruelty and drug-possession case. E! Online reports:

Although DMX’s attorney did appear on his client’s behalf Tuesday afternoon to provide documentation that his client couldn’t make it because he was hospitalized in Miami (he wouldn’t say why, though), the judge opted to issue a bench warrant anyway and raise his bond to $25,000.

And just in case DMX’s lawyer doesn’t have a big enough ulcer, the rapper has another court hearing next week:

“We are in court again next week on other matters, and my hope is we can get the warrant resolved by then and get back on track,” he said. “We have some things in the works to get the warrant taken care of. My hope is that we can resolve it without an arrest, but he’s been arrested at the airport before, so they obviously have an eye out for him, so I’m not sure.”

I’m pretty sure the only place DMX hasn’t been arrested is outer space. Even then it’s only a matter of time until he’s picked up on the Hubble Telescope. And by a matter of time I mean Tuesday.