I would drink that martini and other news

- Kevin Eubanks bails on Leno. [PopEater]

- Joe Jonas shouldn’t wear skinny jeans. [Lainey Gossip]

- Lily Allen continues terrorizing the modern world with her pantslessness. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Mischa Barton can not look like a drug addict. Would’ve never called that. [Just Jared]

- Avril Lavigne rapes your eardrums while Tim Burton holds them down. [Dlisted]

- Shakira might be cheating on her boyf- Wait. She’s 33?! Black magic is real! [Celebslam]

- Jesse James has a dog named Cinnabun. < - Funniest shit I will ever write on this site. [Huffington Post]

- Pete Wentz doing an eerily accurate impression of the only way Elin Woods is allowed near Tiger. [TheFABlife]

- Lisa Rinna is “disturbed” by Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery. [The Blemish]

- Kid Cudi wears comfortable clothes because cartoon characters never change their outfits. Why not? [Bossip]

- Robert Pattinson shirtless in Remember Me. [PopSugar]

- Snooki’s trademarking her name. Of course. [Amy Grindhouse]

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