Dita Von Teese topless in German Playboy

November 25th, 2008 // 136 Comments

A topless Dita Von Teese appears in the December issue of Playboy Germany and, sonofabitch, that’s it. I’m moving to Germany. I thought this country was kickass, but when we can’t even get Dita Von Teese to pose in our Playboy for the holidays, it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. I’m not even joking. Which is why I’d like to announce the launch of my new site: Das Oberflächliche.com!

Sieg Heil, bitches. (That means “Hello,” right?)

NOTE: Pics to link NSFW versions which give new meaning to the scientific term “nipples the size of dinner plates.”

Photos: Playboy, The Sun

  1. Wow. #50 Urbanspaceman.Wow. We may have something in common here.
    I may feel a real ‘connection’
    So. Like – “inside job” . Look it up.

  2. melissa

    I see stars on her boobies so I dont know why you guys are talking about nipples. I see no nipples. :(

  3. fo shizzle my nizzle

    Dita fucked Hitlers corpse.

  4. Glue

    Playboy India might finally get Rachel Evan Wood to do that shoot after this.

  5. Gr8 points all # 52-54.
    Welcome to the site. (are you new here?)
    Inside job ?

  6. Allison

    #49: Yeah because some of us actually have an alternative point other than simply “B00BZ”.

    If you’d like to know where the sensitive parts on a woman are, I suggest you watch some late night television that should give you a head start.

  7. # 56.
    What you twying to say here exactwee ?
    Inside job ?

  8. Mal

    what the fuck is this “inside job” crap?

  9. pinupwannabe

    I think she looks fantastic-I even love her Bettie Page pic. I think U.S. Playboy would be so much hotter if they actually did retro 40′s and 50′s throwback shoots like these.

    And what the hell’s wrong with her nips?

  10. Fernanado Narcos

    But then you get to thinking she let Marilyn Manson put his cock in her,and that just ruins it.

  11. De

    December 2002 issue of playboy. (Which, thank the heavens I saved). To each their own, I effing love her. I’d love for her to be my girlfriend. I’d give up sex with the hubby for a year, for one night with her…. (at the risk of sounding uber creepy)

  12. Inside Job

    Yeah I would like to put a few things inside her.

  13. monkeyfightclub

    She’s got a nice pair of Von Terts.

  14. Doggy Style

    it puts its lotion on its skin.

  15. Richard

    > Its time for the 15 years old virgin to shine with their pearl necklace and anal sex comment.

    What’s wrong with pearl necklaces and anal sex? My wife and I dig that stuff — she got me into it, in fact. Sketching Hawaii on your woman’s neck and ramming her ass is nasty as fuck and fun as hell.

  16. Richard

    > Where’s the love for the pepperoni nips?

    Right here. I don’t want boy nipples on the tits I suck — I like them bold and feminine, not shy and androgynous.

  17. Soowee
    Got called away.
    So # 58 I’m guessing you’re emotionally having a few problems with the ‘free fall collapse speed through undamaged steel structure’ thing.
    And can’t quite relate to ‘ Dita Von Teese’ tits thing.
    And I’m guessing you’re American ?

  18. Or Israeli ?
    Give me a bone here.
    Inside job ?

  19. anon

    sieg heil- funny shit. ey.. her tits are doing a little sieg heil too, yea?

  20. mink

    Randal, you are too classy for this site. love you, love your commentary

  21. Kreskin: Hey wait a sec.
    No. I have nothing.
    Hey. I just read about Publisher’s Weekly ‘pick of the week’.
    No. I have nothing.

  22. Balls McCoy

    @43 yeah but it’s not the same cos you’re a dude.

  23. Insatiable Peter


    I have no qualms about breasts that appear to resemble “two gormless eyes staring vacantly” if they look like that. Perhaps a balance can be ascertained, and they would assume more of a pulchritudinous nature with my semen splashed across them.

  24. Binky: Look Kreskin. The ‘street ‘ says you’ve had Alzheimer’s for a number of years. Personwooly, as those Chinese guys say – I’m wondering how you still get work as a mentalist. Like who hires a mentalist with Alzheimer’s ?
    Kreskin : I still get work.
    Cliff Notes : Inside job ?
    Kreskin : Inside job.

  25. thomas

    she was toatlly nude in penthouse 2 years ago…clam and all. screw playboy!

  26. gormlesseyeless

    #24- what’s a gormless eye??????

  27. kingofbeer

    Personally, I would have iced those nips down for the shots. Love the size, need more pointy though and would match the boots more.

    btw – I’d hit it.

  28. Gr8 points all # 79.
    Inside job ?
    Having any problems with free fall collapse speed through undamaged steel structure – you know – that type of thing.
    Comments ?

  29. Nikky Raney

    well then.

  30. udo

    the german superficial is called viply.de, but it isn’t funny..

  31. So. #81 Gr8 contribution to the human condition. !!
    Oh. Sorry. Hold on.
    This woman with the signals keeps signalling me.
    W@ait a sec. I’m going to get this…
    An inside WHAt ?

    Cliff Notes : ‘Job’

  32. Lucifer

    I’m a lovely cheerleader with beautiful eyes and great skin. Give me your comments on my photos. I am always showing up at ***INTERRACIALLOVING.COM***, waiting 4 your love……..

  33. I was wondering when you were showing up Lucifer.
    Inside job ?

  34. Jibbly Biggins

    What’s wrong with you people? Can’t take a woman over 30? Prefer little doughy 18-year olds?

    Dita is perfect: perfect hair, face, breasts, retro style, burlesque dance. She’s amazing – a living art form.

  35. karyn

    beautiful photos, I think the breast shots really soften her up.

  36. rockrocky77

    Nice I loves me some Dita.

  37. Jeff

    Her areolas are just fine, in fact they are the hottest part of her boobs. I think she is kind of ugly, but her boobs look better than usual in this shoot, normally i don’t like implants. You guys who hate big nips are gay.

  38. kitty_kat

    The big nipple comments are making me laugh. Have you guys ever seen a real, actual breast in your lives? If you did, you’d know that a lot of women out there have areolas that look like hers.

  39. holly

    um……Dita was on the cover of Playboy in the U.S. in December 2002

  40. Janey

    Is it just me or does she look an awful lot like Barbra Streisand in the first pic? Ew

  41. Lucifer

    I am Rosa, a sexy and beautiful woman. Internet is a quite good place to meet friends and even find whatever your need. I am just in the beginning of my career and want to find a black man, so I uploaded my hot and even hot photos on ***INTERRACIALLOVING.COM***. I’m waiting for u……..

  42. lulu

    Most guys like “cute” little areolas, because it enhances the largeness of the breast. However most women have areolas about this size. I think they’re hot large.

  43. unsatisfied

    I just got an inside job.


    Knee ya ha-ha’s not all what she’s cracked up to be. Gimme me my “fi dolla” back.


  44. Clem

    Christ, she’s gogeous. I opened up a full size photo and at the top there was a link that said “Back to Entry”, I clicked it and far from showing me her entry it took me back to the post.
    Come on Superficial person, fix that link!

  45. Sieg Heil

    Let’s see if the Americans can say “shock and awe” and then drop bombs all over innocent Iraqis, I say we can say whatever the fuck we want to.
    Don’t like it? Put your little beany on your pointy head and you know what country (Yahweh’s) you can go to.

  46. fletcher

    she is beyond beautiful!

  47. Gern Blanston

    Settle down, people. She’s done hard-core porn. Granted, it’s girls only, (no problem there!) but it’s pretty heady stuff.

  48. Stephanie

    Not all women have areolas the size of dimes. Hers are quite normal and a nice light color. The only reason they stand out is because the norm of published nudity is tiny everything (except huge ugly plastic breasts). Stop jacking off to mags and get a real date and you’ll see.

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