Dita Von Teese topless in German Playboy

November 25th, 2008 // 136 Comments

A topless Dita Von Teese appears in the December issue of Playboy Germany and, sonofabitch, that’s it. I’m moving to Germany. I thought this country was kickass, but when we can’t even get Dita Von Teese to pose in our Playboy for the holidays, it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. I’m not even joking. Which is why I’d like to announce the launch of my new site: Das Oberflächliche.com!

Sieg Heil, bitches. (That means “Hello,” right?)

NOTE: Pics to link NSFW versions which give new meaning to the scientific term “nipples the size of dinner plates.”

Photos: Playboy, The Sun
superficial

  1. ktb

    dare I?
    First

  2. CHELSE

    FIRST :)))))))

  3. Ick. Ugly bitch

  4. CHELSE

    FIRST :)))))))

  5. CHELSE

    FIRST :)))))))

  6. BonBon

    Is there anything real about this woman?.

  7. santababy

    booooring

  8. Balls McCoy

    Wow. Not bad. I’ll have to think up something funny to say but all the blood’s rushed out of my head.

  9. Yo

    Here we go again…
    I can’t wait to read all those subtle and decent comments we’ll get after such a post. Its time for the 15 years old virgin to shine with their pearl necklace and anal sex comment.

  10. pasta knasta

    #6 Might as well have said “original”. There probably isn’t.

  11. shes hot her nipples suck

    look at those dish plates

  12. Rome

    The cover is stunning. The other two pics… not so much.

  13. missy

    nice tits

  14. Erin

    They tried to make her look like Bettie Page in the second one. Nice try. I love Dita, but these pics don’t do her much justice. Bettie Page was a lot hotter though. I’d love to see someone try and pull her old vintage shoots off nowadays.

  15. Heather

    “but when we can’t even get Dita Von Teese to pose in our Playboy, it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. ”

    She was in our playboy… a couple of years ago.

  16. Most Disgusting Creature on Planet?

    the pics dont do her justice. lol. you mean to say that this woman has the face of a transexual horse and this is the best they could do with heavy makeup, studio lights and hours of photoshop.

    those bags. with the giant nipple. seriously, i have never seen ANYTHING MORE REVOLTING IN MY LIFE.

    what a waste of oxygen.

  17. McFlabwobble

    I’d spank her fanny while we make sweet, bionic love.

  18. Mos

    # 16 is apparently gay. Grrrrr… I make fun of pretty lady! Grrrrr…. i am tough and macho. Soooo gay fag boy. Perhaps you are transexual yourself?

  19. Mike Hawk

    Um..Hell, and Yes.

  20. Tracey

    I think she is just lovely. I would do her. I’m a married woman, and I would do her.

  21. Tracey

    I think she is just lovely. I would do her. I’m a married woman, and I would do her.

  22. Tracey

    I think she is just lovely. I would do her. I’m a married woman, and I would do her.

  23. “it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. ”
    Ce qui ?
    I’m not sure we want them. Well ok, maybe some of them northerners.
    Like, let’s face it. That rock thing in “Close Encounters” was sort of interesting.
    (And in other news – Read any good books lately ? Apparently Publisher’s Weekly has a hot tip)

  24. Christina

    Her face definatley looks better than her tits…Its like…theyre in juxtaposition, a sultry face and then boobs like two gormless eyes staring vacanly?! eh? anyone agree?

  25. M&M

    Because she can help the size of her nipples? Seriously?? Where’s the love for the pepperoni nips?

  26. Here’s a link to a sharper version I got from the site.

    http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a89/bigdirtyogre/ditavonteese.jpg

  27. Aja

    Hey #20, 21 AND 22, ‘Tracey’
    We don’t care. Stop trying to be shocking or relevant.

  28. Me amazed at your perception #24-26.
    (Personwooly – I don’t alway recognize the pepperoni nipples…)
    So….inside job ?

  29. Aja

    Hey #20, 21 AND 22, ‘Tracey’
    We don’t care. Stop trying to be shocking or relevant.

    BTW SUPERFICIAL FIX YOUR FUCKING COMMENTS BUG PLEASE.

  30. Randal

    Your boots make even Randal sparkle like Randal has never sparkled before.

    Randal

  31. Yomama

    Ditzy von Tits?

  32. Those nipples doesn’t matter, man. I still would’ve humped the hell out of her;-)

  33. smartass

    First: DerOberflächliche.com would be a much better translation.
    Second: “Sieg Heil” is very bad style. There is far too much to it to just throw it around like this.
    Third: I offer three copies of the German playboy for Maine. I just like Stephen King.

  34. adt

    There is nothing sexy about that. Dita Von Teese is dissssgusting.

  35. beth

    Don’t say sig heil.

  36. amanda

    her face looks abnormally good (shes fugly at best)
    but her boobs are gross
    seriously, if those things were mine id get em fixed – and im not talking about her nipples, her boobs have a weird lumpy apperance that grosses me out

  37. Ted from LA

    #24,
    Were you in the writer’s workshop with Randal? Good stuff.

  38. kevTHA

    i don’t think her nipples are THAT big.

  39. KEVtha

    oh, deffinetely her nipples are THAT big.

  40. kevTHA

    i don’t think her nipples are THAT big.

  41. bob

    whats wrong with her nipples?…. why is every one saying they look big and ugly, i disagree.

  42. Sarah

    Dita Von Teese was in America’s Playboy. That’s how she got the “von teese” added to her name, Playboy wouldn’t allow just “Dita.”
    And I don’t understand what’s so wrong about her boobs. They look like boobs.

  43. Albatross

    I have big nips like that, too. Of course, my boobies are real.

    I never saw this person’s appeal. Bleh.

  44. holy pancakes. That is hot!

  45. JoeG

    You fools are lunchin. Those nipples are mighty fine. Guys have small nipples. Big breast need big nipples to go with em.

  46. So. #30 Randall.
    You stWike me as a real…as real…as a real….ok….humanitarian…
    So….
    I guess you support the victim’s families-the Jersey girls etc. – call for a new investigation ?
    Comments ?

  47. Mal

    I thought she looked better before her implants. It’s hard to find those pictures, because she got them before she got “big”, but they’re out there. Her implants, left to hang, look pretty bad. That’s why she’s holding them up in all these pictures.

  48. Allison

    It’s interesting how she’s actually quite soft spoken and shy.

  49. Gr8 points #47-48… Very perceptive.

    Oh, and – by the way – …Inside job ?

  50. Urbanspaceman

    As Digby O’Dell might say, she looks, “good, very natural”. Look it up.

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