A topless Dita Von Teese appears in the December issue of Playboy Germany and, sonofabitch, that’s it. I’m moving to Germany. I thought this country was kickass, but when we can’t even get Dita Von Teese to pose in our Playboy for the holidays, it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. I’m not even joking. Which is why I’d like to announce the launch of my new site: Das Oberflächliche.com!
Sieg Heil, bitches. (That means “Hello,” right?)
NOTE: Pics to link NSFW versions which give new meaning to the scientific term “nipples the size of dinner plates.”
Photos: Playboy, The Sun
ktb | November 25, 2008 at 6:02 pm
dare I?
First
CHELSE | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm
FIRST :)))))))
yomama | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Ick. Ugly bitch
CHELSE | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm
FIRST :)))))))
CHELSE | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm
FIRST :)))))))
BonBon | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Is there anything real about this woman?.
santababy | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm
booooring
Balls McCoy | November 25, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Wow. Not bad. I’ll have to think up something funny to say but all the blood’s rushed out of my head.
Yo | November 25, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Here we go again…
I can’t wait to read all those subtle and decent comments we’ll get after such a post. Its time for the 15 years old virgin to shine with their pearl necklace and anal sex comment.
pasta knasta | November 25, 2008 at 6:08 pm
#6 Might as well have said “original”. There probably isn’t.
shes hot her nipples suck | November 25, 2008 at 6:16 pm
look at those dish plates
Rome | November 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm
The cover is stunning. The other two pics… not so much.
missy | November 25, 2008 at 6:26 pm
nice tits
Erin | November 25, 2008 at 6:28 pm
They tried to make her look like Bettie Page in the second one. Nice try. I love Dita, but these pics don’t do her much justice. Bettie Page was a lot hotter though. I’d love to see someone try and pull her old vintage shoots off nowadays.
Heather | November 25, 2008 at 6:31 pm
“but when we can’t even get Dita Von Teese to pose in our Playboy, it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. ”
She was in our playboy… a couple of years ago.
Most Disgusting Creature on Planet? | November 25, 2008 at 6:34 pm
the pics dont do her justice. lol. you mean to say that this woman has the face of a transexual horse and this is the best they could do with heavy makeup, studio lights and hours of photoshop.
those bags. with the giant nipple. seriously, i have never seen ANYTHING MORE REVOLTING IN MY LIFE.
what a waste of oxygen.
McFlabwobble | November 25, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I’d spank her fanny while we make sweet, bionic love.
Mos | November 25, 2008 at 6:38 pm
# 16 is apparently gay. Grrrrr… I make fun of pretty lady! Grrrrr…. i am tough and macho. Soooo gay fag boy. Perhaps you are transexual yourself?
Mike Hawk | November 25, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Um..Hell, and Yes.
Tracey | November 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I think she is just lovely. I would do her. I’m a married woman, and I would do her.
Tracey | November 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I think she is just lovely. I would do her. I’m a married woman, and I would do her.
Tracey | November 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I think she is just lovely. I would do her. I’m a married woman, and I would do her.
Binky | November 25, 2008 at 6:48 pm
“it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. ”
Ce qui ?
I’m not sure we want them. Well ok, maybe some of them northerners.
Like, let’s face it. That rock thing in “Close Encounters” was sort of interesting.
(And in other news – Read any good books lately ? Apparently Publisher’s Weekly has a hot tip)
Christina | November 25, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Her face definatley looks better than her tits…Its like…theyre in juxtaposition, a sultry face and then boobs like two gormless eyes staring vacanly?! eh? anyone agree?
M&M | November 25, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Because she can help the size of her nipples? Seriously?? Where’s the love for the pepperoni nips?
Jones | November 25, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Here’s a link to a sharper version I got from the site.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a89/bigdirtyogre/ditavonteese.jpg
Aja | November 25, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Hey #20, 21 AND 22, ‘Tracey’
We don’t care. Stop trying to be shocking or relevant.
Knee Ya Ha Ha | November 25, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Me amazed at your perception #24-26.
(Personwooly – I don’t alway recognize the pepperoni nipples…)
So….inside job ?
Aja | November 25, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Hey #20, 21 AND 22, ‘Tracey’
We don’t care. Stop trying to be shocking or relevant.
BTW SUPERFICIAL FIX YOUR FUCKING COMMENTS BUG PLEASE.
Randal | November 25, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Your boots make even Randal sparkle like Randal has never sparkled before.
Randal
Yomama | November 25, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Ditzy von Tits?
Remi | November 25, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Those nipples doesn’t matter, man. I still would’ve humped the hell out of her;-)
smartass | November 25, 2008 at 7:29 pm
First: DerOberflächliche.com would be a much better translation.
Second: “Sieg Heil” is very bad style. There is far too much to it to just throw it around like this.
Third: I offer three copies of the German playboy for Maine. I just like Stephen King.
adt | November 25, 2008 at 7:29 pm
There is nothing sexy about that. Dita Von Teese is dissssgusting.
beth | November 25, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Don’t say sig heil.
amanda | November 25, 2008 at 7:30 pm
her face looks abnormally good (shes fugly at best)
but her boobs are gross
seriously, if those things were mine id get em fixed – and im not talking about her nipples, her boobs have a weird lumpy apperance that grosses me out
Ted from LA | November 25, 2008 at 7:31 pm
#24,
Were you in the writer’s workshop with Randal? Good stuff.
kevTHA | November 25, 2008 at 7:46 pm
i don’t think her nipples are THAT big.
KEVtha | November 25, 2008 at 7:46 pm
oh, deffinetely her nipples are THAT big.
kevTHA | November 25, 2008 at 7:46 pm
i don’t think her nipples are THAT big.
bob | November 25, 2008 at 7:49 pm
whats wrong with her nipples?…. why is every one saying they look big and ugly, i disagree.
Sarah | November 25, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Dita Von Teese was in America’s Playboy. That’s how she got the “von teese” added to her name, Playboy wouldn’t allow just “Dita.”
And I don’t understand what’s so wrong about her boobs. They look like boobs.
Albatross | November 25, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I have big nips like that, too. Of course, my boobies are real.
I never saw this person’s appeal. Bleh.
Sell Porn Make Money | November 25, 2008 at 8:20 pm
holy pancakes. That is hot!
JoeG | November 25, 2008 at 8:22 pm
You fools are lunchin. Those nipples are mighty fine. Guys have small nipples. Big breast need big nipples to go with em.
'Frank' from 16th Floor | November 25, 2008 at 8:23 pm
So. #30 Randall.
You stWike me as a real…as real…as a real….ok….humanitarian…
So….
I guess you support the victim’s families-the Jersey girls etc. – call for a new investigation ?
Comments ?
Mal | November 25, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I thought she looked better before her implants. It’s hard to find those pictures, because she got them before she got “big”, but they’re out there. Her implants, left to hang, look pretty bad. That’s why she’s holding them up in all these pictures.
Allison | November 25, 2008 at 8:29 pm
It’s interesting how she’s actually quite soft spoken and shy.
Knee Ya Ha Ha | November 25, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Gr8 points #47-48… Very perceptive.
Oh, and – by the way – …Inside job ?
Urbanspaceman | November 25, 2008 at 8:44 pm
As Digby O’Dell might say, she looks, “good, very natural”. Look it up.