Dita Von Teese topless in German Playboy

November 25th, 2008 // 136 Comments

A topless Dita Von Teese appears in the December issue of Playboy Germany and, sonofabitch, that’s it. I’m moving to Germany. I thought this country was kickass, but when we can’t even get Dita Von Teese to pose in our Playboy for the holidays, it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. I’m not even joking. Which is why I’d like to announce the launch of my new site: Das Oberflächliche.com!

Sieg Heil, bitches. (That means “Hello,” right?)

NOTE: Pics to link NSFW versions which give new meaning to the scientific term “nipples the size of dinner plates.”

Photos: Playboy, The Sun
Sorry, there are no Video results for this search.
Sorry, there are no Image results for this search.
Sorry, there are no News results for this search.

Comments (136)

  1. ktb | November 25, 2008 at 6:02 pm

    dare I?
    First

    Reply
  2. CHELSE | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    FIRST :)))))))

    Reply
  3. yomama | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    Ick. Ugly bitch

    Reply
  4. CHELSE | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    FIRST :)))))))

    Reply
  5. CHELSE | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    FIRST :)))))))

    Reply
  6. BonBon | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    Is there anything real about this woman?.

    Reply
  7. santababy | November 25, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    booooring

    Reply
  8. Balls McCoy | November 25, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    Wow. Not bad. I’ll have to think up something funny to say but all the blood’s rushed out of my head.

    Reply
  9. Yo | November 25, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    Here we go again…
    I can’t wait to read all those subtle and decent comments we’ll get after such a post. Its time for the 15 years old virgin to shine with their pearl necklace and anal sex comment.

    Reply
  10. pasta knasta | November 25, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    #6 Might as well have said “original”. There probably isn’t.

    Reply
  11. shes hot her nipples suck | November 25, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    look at those dish plates

    Reply
  12. Rome | November 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    The cover is stunning. The other two pics… not so much.

    Reply
  13. missy | November 25, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    nice tits

    Reply
  14. Erin | November 25, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    They tried to make her look like Bettie Page in the second one. Nice try. I love Dita, but these pics don’t do her much justice. Bettie Page was a lot hotter though. I’d love to see someone try and pull her old vintage shoots off nowadays.

    Reply
  15. Heather | November 25, 2008 at 6:31 pm

    “but when we can’t even get Dita Von Teese to pose in our Playboy, it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. ”

    She was in our playboy… a couple of years ago.

    Reply
  16. Most Disgusting Creature on Planet? | November 25, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    the pics dont do her justice. lol. you mean to say that this woman has the face of a transexual horse and this is the best they could do with heavy makeup, studio lights and hours of photoshop.

    those bags. with the giant nipple. seriously, i have never seen ANYTHING MORE REVOLTING IN MY LIFE.

    what a waste of oxygen.

    Reply
  17. McFlabwobble | November 25, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    I’d spank her fanny while we make sweet, bionic love.

    Reply
  18. Mos | November 25, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    # 16 is apparently gay. Grrrrr… I make fun of pretty lady! Grrrrr…. i am tough and macho. Soooo gay fag boy. Perhaps you are transexual yourself?

    Reply
  19. Mike Hawk | November 25, 2008 at 6:40 pm

    Um..Hell, and Yes.

    Reply
  20. Tracey | November 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    I think she is just lovely. I would do her. I’m a married woman, and I would do her.

    Reply
  21. Tracey | November 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    I think she is just lovely. I would do her. I’m a married woman, and I would do her.

    Reply
  22. Tracey | November 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    I think she is just lovely. I would do her. I’m a married woman, and I would do her.

    Reply
  23. Binky | November 25, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    “it’s time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. ”
    Ce qui ?
    I’m not sure we want them. Well ok, maybe some of them northerners.
    Like, let’s face it. That rock thing in “Close Encounters” was sort of interesting.
    (And in other news – Read any good books lately ? Apparently Publisher’s Weekly has a hot tip)

    Reply
  24. Christina | November 25, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    Her face definatley looks better than her tits…Its like…theyre in juxtaposition, a sultry face and then boobs like two gormless eyes staring vacanly?! eh? anyone agree?

    Reply
  25. M&M | November 25, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    Because she can help the size of her nipples? Seriously?? Where’s the love for the pepperoni nips?

    Reply
  26. Jones | November 25, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    Here’s a link to a sharper version I got from the site.

    http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a89/bigdirtyogre/ditavonteese.jpg

    Reply
  27. Aja | November 25, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    Hey #20, 21 AND 22, ‘Tracey’
    We don’t care. Stop trying to be shocking or relevant.

    Reply
  28. Knee Ya Ha Ha | November 25, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    Me amazed at your perception #24-26.
    (Personwooly – I don’t alway recognize the pepperoni nipples…)
    So….inside job ?

    Reply
  29. Aja | November 25, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    Hey #20, 21 AND 22, ‘Tracey’
    We don’t care. Stop trying to be shocking or relevant.

    BTW SUPERFICIAL FIX YOUR FUCKING COMMENTS BUG PLEASE.

    Reply
  30. Randal | November 25, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    Your boots make even Randal sparkle like Randal has never sparkled before.

    Randal

    Reply
  31. Yomama | November 25, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    Ditzy von Tits?

    Reply
  32. Remi | November 25, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    Those nipples doesn’t matter, man. I still would’ve humped the hell out of her;-)

    Reply
  33. smartass | November 25, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    First: DerOberflächliche.com would be a much better translation.
    Second: “Sieg Heil” is very bad style. There is far too much to it to just throw it around like this.
    Third: I offer three copies of the German playboy for Maine. I just like Stephen King.

    Reply
  34. adt | November 25, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    There is nothing sexy about that. Dita Von Teese is dissssgusting.

    Reply
  35. beth | November 25, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    Don’t say sig heil.

    Reply
  36. amanda | November 25, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    her face looks abnormally good (shes fugly at best)
    but her boobs are gross
    seriously, if those things were mine id get em fixed – and im not talking about her nipples, her boobs have a weird lumpy apperance that grosses me out

    Reply
  37. Ted from LA | November 25, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    #24,
    Were you in the writer’s workshop with Randal? Good stuff.

    Reply
  38. kevTHA | November 25, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    i don’t think her nipples are THAT big.

    Reply
  39. KEVtha | November 25, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    oh, deffinetely her nipples are THAT big.

    Reply
  40. kevTHA | November 25, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    i don’t think her nipples are THAT big.

    Reply
  41. bob | November 25, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    whats wrong with her nipples?…. why is every one saying they look big and ugly, i disagree.

    Reply
  42. Sarah | November 25, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    Dita Von Teese was in America’s Playboy. That’s how she got the “von teese” added to her name, Playboy wouldn’t allow just “Dita.”
    And I don’t understand what’s so wrong about her boobs. They look like boobs.

    Reply
  43. Albatross | November 25, 2008 at 8:10 pm

    I have big nips like that, too. Of course, my boobies are real.

    I never saw this person’s appeal. Bleh.

    Reply
  44. Sell Porn Make Money | November 25, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    holy pancakes. That is hot!

    Reply
  45. JoeG | November 25, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    You fools are lunchin. Those nipples are mighty fine. Guys have small nipples. Big breast need big nipples to go with em.

    Reply
  46. 'Frank' from 16th Floor | November 25, 2008 at 8:23 pm

    So. #30 Randall.
    You stWike me as a real…as real…as a real….ok….humanitarian…
    So….
    I guess you support the victim’s families-the Jersey girls etc. – call for a new investigation ?
    Comments ?

    Reply
  47. Mal | November 25, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    I thought she looked better before her implants. It’s hard to find those pictures, because she got them before she got “big”, but they’re out there. Her implants, left to hang, look pretty bad. That’s why she’s holding them up in all these pictures.

    Reply
  48. Allison | November 25, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    It’s interesting how she’s actually quite soft spoken and shy.

    Reply
  49. Knee Ya Ha Ha | November 25, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    Gr8 points #47-48… Very perceptive.

    Oh, and – by the way – …Inside job ?

    Reply
  50. Urbanspaceman | November 25, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    As Digby O’Dell might say, she looks, “good, very natural”. Look it up.

    Reply

Leave a Comment

Name (Visible)
Email (Required, Not Visible)