Scott Disick Just Made Christmas Really Weird for Lionel Richie
Ever since Scott Disick and Sophia Richie started dating, it’s been pretty obvious that Lionel Richie probably can’t stand Scott. I can’t imagine any father would be thrilled to hear that their 19-year-old daughter was dating a guy who literally does nothing but drink and… bang 19-year-old models. The least that Lord Disick could do is keep the details of their sexcapades on the low, ya know, out of respect for Lionel… but fuck that. This is Lord Disick, king of the Disickheads. He’s going to film Sofia Richie dancing in her underwear with Lionel’s hit “All Night Long” blasting and post it online.
I haven’t seen daddy issues like this since Courtney Stodden got plowed by Santa in the snow. For some reason this brings to mind the same chest pounding craziness that Marky Mark pulled in Fear…
**Lionel calls Sofia’s phone**
Scott answers: “Hello, Lionel.”
Lionel: “Oh, hi Scott… is Sophia around?”
S: “She can’t come to the phone right now, Lionel. Can I give her a message?”
L: “Just tell her that we’re having a big family Christmas at my house this year and it’d be great if-“
S: “Lionel, my man. She’s already with her family. She’s with me now Lionel. I’m all she needs. She doesn’t want to be with you anymore. See, I’m hip to your problems. All of ‘em. I know you abandoned Sofia when she needed you most… ’cause I licked her sweet tears. I know about things comin’ apart at work. Maybe you fuckin’ lost it in that department. I also know you ain’t keepin’ up, so to speak, your end of the bargain with the missus. ‘Cause if you were she wouldn’t be all over my stick. Relax, Lionel. We’re friends. We’re practically family.
**Scott hangs up**
Sofia: “Who was that, Scott?”
Scott: “Nobody, baby. Just keep dancin’…