Above is Katherine Heigl leaving a Duane Reade last March after shopping there with her mom Madame TurnYouIntoAnUnhirableCunt, and below is a tweet from two days later: More »
Here’s Alexandra Daddario posing nude for the new issue of Vanity Fair which if you click on, will lead you right into the gallery of her naked on True Detective. And that’s the story of why you’re looking at this post. The End.
Photo: Vanity Fair
Hey, do you like Colbert Report? Well, fuck you, it’s over. It’s all over because CBS just announced Stephen Colbert as David Letterman‘s successor for The Late Show which means his Comedy Central show will end at the of 2014 when his contract was up. Although on the bright side, he’s bringing the entire staff and crew with him and started things off with this statement. Via Entertainment Weekly:
“Simply being a guest on David Letterman’s show has been a highlight of my career,” Colbert said. “I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave’s lead. I’m thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth.”
When reached for comment, Jimmy Fallon sang a silly song then laughed hysterically at his own jokes. It got 8 million hits on YouTube.
Photo: Comedy Central
And now for the most hilarious collection of words you’ll ever read thanks to Joe Francis announcing to Us Weekly that he specifically Kate Gosselin‘d his girlfriend Abbey Wilson with twin girls because women’s bodies are but a canvas for him to create if create means taking naked pictures of drunk sorority girls:
Francis isn’t concerned about being the father of two girls. “We chose to have girls,” he said. “I believe people will finally understand my love, respect and admiration for women. I love girls.”
On May 7, 2013, Joe Francis was convicted of assault, three counts of false imprisonment, and one count of dissuading a witness from reporting after taking three women back to his house in 2011 and choke-slamming one of them to the floor after refusing to let them leave. This is on top of alleged reports of attacking Jayde Nicole and, oh I dunno, a pregnant woman, so yes, when I think of someone who “loves girls,” my first thought’s Joe Francis. He’s just a caring guy trying to Chris Brown his way into their hearts. Why can’t you see that?
Per your request, here are the uncensored photos of Rihanna‘s naked butt that TMZ ran yesterday, and we were finally able to purchase this morning. As for how we could afford them, let’s just say there’s a good chance you’ll run into Photo Boy in a Romanian brothel now. And if you do, tell him I regret nothing. NOTHING.
So remember when Amanda Bynes was wandering around building bombs out of her dog, Tweeting topless pics and talking to herself in a secret language? That’s about to happen all over again because her mother’s an idiot. TMZ reports:
Amanda Bynes’ mother just came out publicly and said her daughter does NOT suffer from Schizophrenia or bipolar disorder — she says the only problem Amanda had was weed — but multiple sources tell TMZ … that’s just NOT true.
Amanda’s mom says all her her daughter’s problems emanated from marijuana, and she is now weed-free, so Amanda is off ALL medications. Lynn Bynes says, “She has no mental illness whatsoever.”
That’s a pretty amazing statement for a woman who currently has a conservatorship over her 28-year-old daughter thanks to a team of medical professionals who deemed her “gravely disabled” so they could lock her in the goddamn psych ward. Don’t get me wrong, potheads annoy me, too, but I’ve never seen one try to explode an elderly woman’s driveway while wearing a Miss Piggy wig. They’re not that ambitious. Trust me.
I know all you bitches out dare be hearing rumors dat Selena Gomez be banging Legolas and gettin’ served on accountant of my boy #BBare, but let me tell y’all a lil sumpin: Bustin Bizzle be packin’ six feet a bubble gum, and Selena Gomez wants to get dat Big League Chew on, naw mean? She ain’t ever givin’ dat up. Not for no Will Turner, or no One Direction England mothafucka who’s all like, “Ooh, let’s drink tea and watch dat show with dat bitch from Harry Potter who be teachin’ them kids magic and shit.” Fuck all dat. Selena Gomez wants da bonez, and my boy #BBare’s got da whole damn skeleton. Click clack, ho.