Anastasia Ashley & Logan Fazio Had A Butt-Off

July 21st, 2014 // 23 Comments

Because it’s been a depressing morning, here are Anastasia Ashley and Logan Fazio “The Pin-Up Paparazzo” having a butt-off in Miami over the weekend. And if that doesn’t brighten your mood, congratulations, you’re already dead and being cremated in the Middle East. I don’t even know how you’re reading this. Do ghosts have Obamaphones? Is that’s what happening here? Get a ghost-job!

Photos: FAMA/AKM-GSI, FameFlynet, INFphoto

Casey Kasem’s Body Is Missing Now

July 21st, 2014 // 14 Comments
Casey Kasem
Jesus Christ, Lady
Casey Kasem
Bury The Poor Bastard! Read More »

So remember the other day when we all found out Casey Kasem‘s body was still sitting in a funeral home after he’s been dead for over a month? It’s missing now. And by missing I mean stolen by his widow and smuggled into Canada because his kids requested an autopsy, so you know, nothing suspicious here. NY Daily News reports:

In an exclusive interview with the Daily News, Kerri said the temporary restraining order that a Washington state judge granted her on Wednesday forbidding movement or burial of the remains was too late.
“My stepmother is doing everything to keep my father’s burial a secret so that none of his loved ones can visit,” Kerri told The News Friday.
“She’s just spiteful, malicious and vindictive,” Kerri said.
Widow Jean Kasem was in control of the body after Kasem’s June 15 death ended Kerri’s control over his medical treatment.
Jean later commissioned a private autopsy in Tacoma and made arrangements to send Kasem to the Urgel Bourgie Funeral Home in Montreal, Canada, by July 14, a recent death certificate obtained by The News said.
“My dad has nothing to do with Canada. He lived in Los Angeles for 45 years. It just once again proves that my stepmother is not acting in my father’s best interest or respecting his wishes,” Kerri said Friday.

Casey had specific instructions to be buried in Hollywood Hills, but just like his equally specific instructions to die in peace if he ever became a vegetable, Jean Kasem is ignoring all of that (Haha! Wives.) and shipping his body to Jerusalem where thrown meat is awarded the significance and spiritual authority it deserves. Plus it just seems like a nice place to burn evidence: More »

We Lost James Garner (1928 – 2014)

July 21st, 2014 // 39 Comments
James Garner

While Lindsay Lohan continues to be humanity’s cockroach, legendary film and television actor James Garner died Saturday night at his home at the age of 86, and holy shit, did this guy lead a life: From physically battling an abusive stepmother to protect his brothers, to joining the Merchant Marines, fighting in Korea, and then landing a role in The Great Escape before becoming TV’s Maverick and later Jim Rockford. And I’m already leaving out a ton of classic roles because I’m a goddamn whippersnapper who’s now going to list James Garner’s greatest achievement as not giving a single fuck to Ryan Gosling. From Nick Cassevetes‘ interview for the The Notebook‘s tenth anniversary: More »

Let’s Start With Ashley Sky And Other News

July 20th, 2014 // 13 Comments

- So obviously pregnant. Who are you fooling?! [Lainey Gossip]

- The Royal Baby is walking. All shall perish. [Dlisted]

- There Are Sexy Chivers Among Us [theCHIVE]

- Like Kim Kardashian knows her kid’s naptime. Or her name for that matter. [Fishwrapper]

- Science can’t even prove that women talk more than men, so religion it is then. [The Frisky]

- Except Scott Disick survived alcohol poisoning, so back to science. Magic had its chance. [WWTDD]

- Kat Dennings‘ cleavage was kind of out. [Popoholic]

- Adam Levine just committed himself to one supermodel vagina. Until the divorce. [Starpulse]

- Lea Michele really wants you to look at her ass. [tooFab]

- Tim McGraw slapped a woman for trying to grab his dick. [IDLYITW]

- What’s up, Abigail Clancy? [Hollywood Tuna]

- The Sexiest Social Media Pics of the Week [Celebslam]

- The University of Warwick Girls Rowing Team made a naked calendar. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet, Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.19

July 18th, 2014 // 15 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you way earlier than usual because you were robbed of a The Crap We Missed and, fuck it, it’s Friday in the middle of July. So here’s your commentical goodness for the week excluding any What the hell’s up with Britney Spears‘ face? gems which I’ve been shoving into that post like so many Furnch Fries. You can practically hear her giggle if her face was capable of moving. Aren’t there laws against Botoxing the retarded? Because there should be laws against Botoxing the retarded. Get me Washington.

Devin Brugman Is The Crap I Missed – Friday 7.18.14

July 18th, 2014 // 20 Comments

Alright, folks, Photo Boy’s off today, so The Crap We Missed will return Monday. So to make up for that, here are Devin Brugman‘s crazy awesome breasts and ass in a bikini which if I’m being honest, should make up for everything that’s gone wrong in your life. Divorce, unemployment, erectile dysfunction, the cure for AIDS being shot out of the sky, I could list things all day. The point is that was then, Devin is now. Live in the now.

Photos: FameFlynet, Splash News

What Happened To Britney Spears’ Face?

July 18th, 2014 // 54 Comments

Here’s Britney Spears leaving a gym with her mom yesterday – I’ll assume this is related. – and seriously, what the hell is going on with her face? Are they starving her? Because my money’s on starving her. And yet nobody’s going to do anything. But if she was a puppy, you’d all sign 20,000 petitions and storm her house with hot dogs on pitchforks. Sometimes, Internet. Some fucking times…

UPDATE: Huge thanks to blerg in the comments. This was bugging the shit out of me: More »

Hey, Look How Hot Kim Kardashian Is When She’s Next To A Dying Pregnant Woman

July 18th, 2014 // 26 Comments

Because her husband has only spent nine days with her since their wedding and doesn’t want to ruin his streak, here’s Kim Kardsahian in Mexico this week where she let his rapists take exclusive bikini photos of her for fun and profit. Plus she also tossed a few shots to Instagram where she courteously used Joe Francis‘ pregnant fiance lying bloated and oblivious in the background to make her ass look better by comparison which is always a polite way to thank someone for their hospitality. Most people prefer it.