For those of you wondering why the hell Esquire‘s Sexiest Woman Alive would resort to shilling sugar water for a company that operates a factory in a contested hotbed of religious infighting, it turns out Scarlett Johansson is five months pregnant, and this time isn’t the work of angles and weird shirts. Or so Romaine Lettuce would have us believe… I know who you’re working for! E! News reports:
The 29-year-old beauty is expecting her first child with fiancé Romain Dauriac, multiple sources confirm to E! News.
The pregnancy news comes just six months after it was announced that the Oscar-nominated actress is planning to tie the knot with her French journalist beau.
While this is great news for Scarlett Johansson, it’s fucking terrible news for The Avengers 2 which just started filming. Then again, it does present the opportunity for this scene: More »
- Charlize Theron and Sean Penn are doing red carpets now. [Lainey Gossip]
- Reese Witherspoon is a powerful (pregnant) wizard. [Dlisted]
- Things Are Getting Awfully Squishy Around Here [theCHIVE]
- Kristin Davis is sorry about Sex and The City. [Fishwrapper]
- Lupita Nyong’o photobombed the shit out of Jared Leto. [The Frisky]
- The Oscars screwed the hell out of Idina Menzel. [The Daily Banter]
- Apparently Jennifer Lawrence wasn’t wearing underwear at the Vanity Fair party. [tooFab]
- Hayden Panettiere‘s implants pose for Cosmo. [Popoholic]
- Somehow Courtney Stodden got invited to an Oscars party. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Aubrey O’Day‘s still taking bikini selfies. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Facebook • Twitter
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN
Because leaking sexy photos helped Vanessa Hudgens escape her Disney image and land such high-profile roles as some chick with guns in Sucker Punch and Bikini Girl #3 in Spring Breakers, here’s Jennette McCurdy who hasn’t done much since iCarly posing for lingerie selfies that mysteriously found their way online. When reached for comment, Michael Bay says he’ll let her wash an old Subaru he found in an alley until cuts the teeny-bopper crap and does spread eagle shots like a woman. He then went, “Waitaminnit, she’s 18, right?” before yelling “Go, go, gadget-minor-chute!” and leaping out a window. It was almost like a science to him.
THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Facebook • Twitter
According to my data, most of you spend your weekends living full, productive lives interacting with friends and family who love and care about you and your accomplishments instead of living in a womb of your own device filled with comic books, video games and masturbatory derring-do. But enough about Photo Boy, here’s George Lopez in case you missed him passed out shit-faced drunk on the floor of a Canadian casino where he performed the next night like nothing ever happened. TMZ reports:
Law enforcement sources tell us Caesars Windsor security alerted police to the Lopez situation — presumably after they found him on the floor — and officers subsequently arrested him
inside the casino bar at Caesars Windsor.
No charges are being filed against Lopez — we’re told he was pretty much dumped in a drunk tank to let him sober up.
George later joked that he did to Canada what Justin Bieber does to America, so someone should probably get the Canadian version of Mariah Yeater a rape kit. The man just admitted it on tape!
I just dropped the most horrible news you’ll ever hear in your life into your lap, so to make up for that here are 25 shots of Candice Swanepoel‘s spectacular ass in a bikini. Think of me as a drill sergeant who breaks you apart only to rebuild you again except without any clear, discernible goal and/or purpose in mind. Especially not one that has something to do with all the fertilizer in my basement. I don’t know what you’re talking about. NOW DROP AND GIMME TWENTY.
‘Fore we even get started up here, let the platinum records show that my boy B-Bare is the stone cold, numba one pussy slayer. Bitches be gettin’ wet just thinkin’ ’bout him, and he be wettin’ them bitches just thinkin’ ’bout them. It’s a wizardry y’all don’t know nothin’ bout which is why it’s a mothafuckin’ HONOR that he wants to give Selena Gomez another chance to get her titties slathered with his maple sizzurp. My boy, the smoothest Don Jon Delillio, has busted out some beautiful words of such romance, mothafuckas on the street will speak of dem fo’eva in hush puppy tones. “Lil Romeo and Julielakeeshaette,” will be the whispers ricochetin’ out da ghetto where B-Bare rains supreme as its darkest king. Break it off, Syrupnose De Burger-rack: More »
Here’s Christina Hendricks looking noticeably less chesty at Elton John‘s Oscar party which means she either got a breast reduction or we have no fucking clue how female undergarments work. (I didn’t believe that last one either. *resumes trying to unhook bra from mannequin* C’mon…) The important thing is nobody made any rash decisions and screamed to the heavens that they’d cockslap God right in the eye for what has happened here this day. Now if you’ll excuse me, my entire house is on fire some reason. Photo Boy, quit being a pillar of a salt for a minute and open a window for Chrissakes. What’s a matter with you?
Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN