Here’s Emma Watson arriving in France this morning where I’m either seeing right through the fabric of her dress or it’s a powerful wizard that makes me see phantom nips. I tried to ask Angelina Jolie what’s happening, but all she did was cry and use Asian children for tissues. It was crazy racist.
“Dear God, it’s me, Farrah. Can butts have babies?”
I was really trying to avoid this story because it was clearly nothing more than Farrah Abraham trying to cram more press into her ass like the glass dildo in her pornographic movie that was not a leaked sex tape, so to bring everyone up to speed, over the weekend, Vivid’s marketing partner TMZ had photos of Farrah shopping for a home pregnancy test because even though he came in her ass and on her face, she was afraid James Deen knocked her up because she’s not on any birth control. A fact that he was completely not aware of and is now pissed as shit at Vivid for potentially lying to him and Farrah who we’ve already seen will have a baby just to get on TV. Via Celebuzz:
“To say you’re potentially pregnant is not something to joke about,” Deen told Celebuzz. “When you knowingly involve another human being and a publicity stunt around that, a child is not something to be taken lightly. It’s not a game anymore and it’s really not cool.
“This is a type of publicity I do not agree with and I do not want to participate in. Joking or lying or using pregnancy to get attention and media is not cool. It involves three people’s lives including the potential unborn child. It is not a subject to just throw around.”
However, I am more concerned about the fact that Vivid told me she was on birth control. Had I known she was not taking preventive measures I would have never accepted the scene.”
Turns out James Deen had purposefully stipulated that Farrah be on birth control because unlike her he’s not a soulless, idiot shitbag who’ll bring a child into the world for a quick buck: More »
Jaden Smith‘s parents have bought him movie roles, leased him Kylie Jenner and let him wear clothes that any respectable parent would consider legal grounds for a 2×4 to the face. So naturally that’s not enough and now he wants to be emancipated and have his own place at 15-years-old because masturbating quietly in a sock while your parents are down the hall is for suckers. Radar Online reports:
Will explains that Jaden, who will be celebrating his 15th birthday in July and is close pals with 19-year-old Justin Bieber, asked for a very unique gift.
“He says, ‘Dad, I want to be emancipated.’ I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really wants to have his own place, like ‘Ooh,’” Will explained.
“That’s the backlash. On the other side, if kids just want to have command of their lives, I understand.”
Yup, that’s right, Will Smith is actually considering this. And based on Jaden’s life so far, he probably already has the papers and a deed to a house wrapped in a stripper as we speak:
“We generally don’t believe in punishment,” he says. “From the time Jaden was five or six, we would sit him down, and all he has to do is be able to explain why what he did was the right thing for his life. I think it’s a much more difficult question to ask someone —’Why was that right?’ — than to try to show them why it was wrong.
“Nobody wants to be wrong, all parts of yourself fight like crazy to not be wrong. So I’ll say to Jaden, ‘Why was that the right thing to do for your life?’ and if he can explain why kicking his sister in the chest was the right thing to do, we can see to it that he understands that it wasn’t so smart.”
“We generally don’t believe in punishment and already at 15 our son has basically spit in the face of everything that we’ve given him and demanded his own house to fuck the girlfriend we bought him in when he’s not kicking her in the chest. Tell me that’s not great parenting.” – Will Smith. Father, Friend, Future Getaway Driver.
Photos: INF Daily
In a shocking op-ed in The New York Times today, Angelina Jolie revealed she had a secret double masectomy in February. A sensitive and emotional procedure for any woman battling cancer except Angelina Jolie doesn’t have cancer, so now’s the part where it’s safe to go, “I’m sorry, what?”
The truth is I carry a “faulty” gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer.
My doctors estimated that I had an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and a 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer, although the risk is different in the case of each woman.
Only a fraction of breast cancers result from an inherited gene mutation. Those with a defect in BRCA1 have a 65 percent risk of getting it, on average.
In a surprising display of support, Jennifer Aniston‘s nipples will remain at half-poke today, the first since 1982.
And by epic I mean Rhino’s pants fall down while Spider-Man’s all like, “Tee hee diddly doo!” the dances a jig. Suck it, Avengers.
Photos: Splash News
- Ryan Gosling got Dr. Who to shave his head. His powers know no bounds. [Lainey Gossip]
- Hey, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are stagin’ a photo op here! [Dlisted]
- Girls have squishy parts. In case you were curious. [theCHIVE]
- Bryan Singer really likes tweeting X-Men set photos. [tooFab]
- RIP, Dr. Joyce Brothers [BuzzFeed]
- Emmanuelle Chriqui looks hot armed. You win this round, guns… [Popoholic]
- Xenia Deli in lingerie, anyone? [Hollywood Tuna]
- Eva Longoria is see-through. [Celebslam]
- Heidi Klum‘s still tweeting bikini photos. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Of course Kevin Smith thinks Clerks 3 is The Empire Strikes Back of the Clerks trilogy. [FilmDrunk]
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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News