Mama June Won’t Make A Sex Tape, We’re Saved!

December 16th, 2014 // 7 Comments
Mama June Sloth
Goddammit, Vivid
Mama June Sugar Bear
Mama June's
$1 Million Sex Tape Offer Read More »

Choc-oh-late? Butter? Sgetti? Baby Ruth?

Yesterday, we learned that Mama June was offered $1 million to make a sex tape because Steve Hirsch is the goddamn devil and now is the hour of his unholy reckoning. Except Mama June is a good, Christian woman and has declined his request, so if anyone needs me, I’ll be in church. #GODISNOTDEAD TMZ reports:

The “Honey Boo Boo” matriarch says she would never ever consider Vivid Entertainment’s offer for June and Sugar Bear to do the dirty and possibly make north of $1 million.
June says, “I have more respect for myself and my kids and my family,” adding, “It ain’t happening, not even for a zillion dollars.”

Just so everyone’s clear, Mama June doesn’t have enough respect for herself and her family to not date the man who raped her daughter and let him sleep in the bed as her other daughter who’s now the same age, but she does have enough to never let anyone see her naked and having sex. — You know what? I’m going to allow it. For the first time in this situation there’s a line, and somehow this woman took great pains not to cross it. It’s a line between “Jesus Christ, NO!” and “Holy Fucking Hell, WHY?!” but the important thing is that it’s there. Sometimes you have to let people surprise you.

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Photo: Warner Bros.

The Ass Circle Is Ass Complete, Now Khloe Is The Ass Master

December 16th, 2014 // 14 Comments

With Kim Kardashian relinquishing her ass crown to chase an impossible dream that’s never going to happen even if you dropped her from the Empire State Building, it’s now Khloe‘s turn to bask in the warm ass sunlight. So here she is riding a horse while the space age Rubbermers™ that make up her ass bounce up and down which has naturally captivated the Internet because we’ll literally stare at fucking anything on here. Case in point, there’s a video where an Asian man’s giant erection (just go with it) destroys an entire building after making an abuelita’s giant titties dance. It’s been viewed 151 million times. We’re never going to space again.

Khloe Kardashian’s Bouncing Ass On A Horse After The Jump

Camille Cosby Just Went Full Dottie Sandusky

December 16th, 2014 // 59 Comments
Camille Cosby
That's A Race Card
Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby Expects The Black Media To Remain 'Neutral' Read More »

When it became clear that Rolling Stone catastrophically fucked up its reporting of a UVA fraternity gang rape, the immediate concern was that this would make it even harder for rape survivors to come forward especially those on college campuses where accusations are being horribly mismanaged if not covered up altogether. But thanks to Rolling Stone, now rape apologists have a quick and easy bat to pick up and go, “Oh, what, just like that UVA rape story? A HURR HURR HURR sluts are lying sluts!” Except what nobody could’ve ever predicted is that this bullshit excuse would go all the way to the top of the most prominent alleged serial rape accusations of our generation because here’s Camille Cosby going full Dottie Sandusky and basically calling Bill Cosby the real victim while using the UVA rape story to defend his innocence. And as a petty jab to NBC for cancelling her husband’s show, she gave the statement to CBS News just so you realize the type of people you’re dealing with here: More »

What The Hell Is A Charli XCX?

December 16th, 2014 // 45 Comments

I have no idea who or what a Charli XCX is, but everybody apparently lost their shit yesterday over her outfits for the Billboard Women In Music Luncheon and Jingle Ball So here are those for you to potentially misplace your own shit over and then maybe have a little treasure hunt trying to find it because being a grown-up is all about doing the things your mom wouldn’t let you do in the house. Why wouldn’t she let your creativity fly?

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News

Good Morning, Kayla Swift, And Other News

December 16th, 2014 // 16 Comments

- And welcome to the Prince George Christmas photos that just made your girlfriend ovulate. [Lainey Gossip]

- Thor just talked shit on Miley Cyrus. [Fishwrapper]

- Lindsay Lohan says she’ll never move back to LA. The streets are safe again! [Dlisted]

- Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE]

- Channing Tatum writes emails exactly like you expect Channing Tatum to write emails. [The Frisky]

- Bradley Cooper‘s teen girlfriend seems fun. [WWTDD]

- The Darren Wilson grand jury continues to be an epic clusterfuck. [Death and Taxes]

- Alexis Ren‘s in a bikini. [Popoholic]

- Jesus Fucking Christ, Kahili Blundell… [Hollywood Tuna]

- Nicki Minaj‘s ass made a calendar. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

The Crap We Missed – Monday 12.15.14

December 15th, 2014 // 459 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Justin Bieber and Chris Brown having a good chuckle during a pretend physical assault, because FUCK YOU EVERYBODY WE’RE RICH!! We’ve also got The Hoff as Vincent Price as Captain Hook, and Cesar Millan‘s dog saying it all with his eyes.

And by all I mean “Everybody here knows what he does to me, right? Nobody? And wow, you’re all really just gonna sit there…”

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News

Samuel L. Jackson: ‘F*ck Your Ice Buckets, Sing To Stop Racist Police’

December 15th, 2014 // 20 Comments
Samuel L Jackson
WATCH: Samuel L. Jackson Calls Out Celebrities

While Bill Cosby used the race card to shame the “black media” into not reporting his 8,000 rape allegations, here’s Samuel L. Jackson fighting actual racism by challenging celebrities who “dumped ice water on their heads” into singing on video to call out “the violence of the racist police.” Via PEOPLE:

The lyrics to Jackson’s song reference Garner’s last words after being placed in a chokehold by police. “I can hear my neighbor cryin’ ‘I can’t breathe’ / now I’m in the struggle and I can’t leave. Callin’ out the violence of the racist police. We ain’t gonna stop, till people are free.”

Is it racist if I like my idea of taking dick pics with “I’m tired of these mothafuckin’ racists on these mothafuckin’ police forces” on them better? Because I already made glossies. Boxes and boxes of glossies. Goddammit.

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Kim Kardashian Wants A Flat Ass Now

December 15th, 2014 // 30 Comments

When she’s not cropping her daughter out of Instagram photos (little attention-stealing bitch), Kim Kardashian is apparently sitting around staring at Khloe’s ass and wondering why would anyone would ever want a butt that big because even Kim Kardashian is forgetting why the hell Kim Kardashian is famous. Via Fishwrapper:

“Khloe’s ass is so big, guys. She needs to lose a couple of pounds. … I want a flat ass, now.”

In related news, fracking shares jumped 85,000% percent as the industry prepares for “a chance to finally level a mountain without destroying the environment. — Ha! Just kidding. It’s full of sulfur and death. (Buy masks.)”

Photo: Vantagenews/Xposure/AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News