Dirt

That Guy Everyone Hates On ‘Top Chef’ Arrested For Domestic Violence

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2014
I make it a point never to watch reality TV because I have better things to do with my time like [literally anything that's not reality TV here]. So I have no idea who Aaron Grissom is, but the Internet tells me he's a huge fucking douche everyone hates on … More »

‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ Has A Title

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2014
SPOILER ALERT: The Force takes naps. Just like 98% of the cast does. Adding... If all of this is completely underwhelming news, here's a story about how Freddy Krueger got Mark Hamill the role of Luke Skywalker because every actor slept on another actor's couch in the 70s. They won't tell … More »

Margot Robbie’s Nipples Will Lead Us Into The Light

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2014
So the past two weeks have been a soulcrushing smorgasbord of child molesters and the sloth-people who let them near their kids, and pretentious hipsters who think writing about their little sister's vagina is totes edgy, all capped off by me staring deep into a bottomless abyss … More »

Amanda Bynes’ Parents: ‘Fuck It, We’re Moving To Texas’

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2014
With a conservatorship over her finances secured by a judge, Amanda Bynes' parents' plan was to slowly give her small amounts of money in hopes that she'd eventually hit rock-bottom and get the help she obviously needs. Except waiting games eat bushels of dick, so they're punting the whole thing over … More »

Good Morning, Lisa Opie, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2014
- Marc Anthony got engaged to his model girlfriend. [Lainey Gossip] - I honestly forgot Shauna Sand was still out there. [Dlisted] - Kirk Cameron took his daughters to Jessa Duggar's wedding so they could basically learn that kissing before marriage is for sluts. Yup. [Fishwrapper] - Presenting The … More »

It’s The Tenth Anniversary Of The Last Time Lindsay Lohan Was Relevant

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014
Thanks to Lindsay Lohan being Lindsay Lohan, everyone already knew Entertainment Weekly was doing a Mean Girls reunion story, and now that day has come. Below's a link if you're so inclined to read such highlights as Lindsay Lohan bitching about Hilary Duff to poor Tina Fey … More »

Lena Dunham Is Sorry She Described Herself As A Sexual Predator

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014
*takes swig of scotch* Alright, let's talk about little kids getting touched again. Goddammit... While most sane and rational people understand that Lena Dunham isn't a child molester, even liberal feminists would agree parts of her book contain some fucked up shit even if it was … More »

Put Me Down For ‘Chappie’

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014
Yesterday, I put the trailer for Chicks Dig Gay Guys on the site as a favor, so there's absolutely no reason why I shouldn't post one for Chappie, the new Neill Blomkamp film starring Hugh Jackman and Die Antwoord (yup) because it looks fucking awesome … More »

Katharine McPhee Is Here To Help

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014
After every Mama June Shannon post - and shit like this in West Virginia - I like to provide a palate cleanser so everyone doesn't shoot themselves in the copy room in a fit of depression. (RIP, Robin.) So here's Katharine McPhee's ass which I had no … More »

Honey Boo Boo Slept In The Same Bed As The Child Molester ‘Allegedly’

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014
"All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous." A few days ago, there was a tiny glimmer of light shining out of the Honey Boo Boo crock pot of shit when TLC announced it will not pay Mama June Shannon in full for the unaired episodes it couldn't run thanks … More »

Good Morning, Kat Torres, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014
- Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are still fucking. [Lainey Gossip] - Stevie Wonder is having triplets. Yup. [Dlisted] - Goddamn, Kyra Santoro... [theCHIVE] - Amanda Seyfried almost lost roles because she was overweight? Amanda Seyfried? [Fishwrapper] - Dating Don’ts: The Worst (And Best) Ways To Break … More »

Benedict Cumberbatch Is Engaged, I’m So Very Sorry For Your Loss

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014
Presumably in an attempt to foil the Internet and anyone born after 1991, Benedict Cumberbatch announced his engagement to theater director Sophie Hunter in the "births, deaths and marriages column" of the print edition of The Times, according to PEOPLE. As for why I didn't bother to post a … More »

Jessica Biel Is Pregnant. For Real.

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014
It seems like only six days ago I wrote a post about Jessica Biel being pregnant, and that's because I did because butt photos: whatever gets them on the site. But this time, there's an "official" announcement from Us Weekly, so now we can all sleep at night knowing … More »

Everything With Amanda Bynes Is Still Awful

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2014
For those of you who need a constant update on how Amanda Bynes' life is specifically falling through the cracks of our failed mental health system, according to TMZ, she's currently living off of $50 to $100 AmEx gift cards doled out by her parents who secured a … More »

The Iggy Azalea ‘Vagina’ Video Is A House of Lies

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2014
Here's the Iggy Azalea vagina video making the rounds where her crotch splits while performing at a Bar Mitzvah. So theoretically the people there probably saw her vagina ("Were they... children?" Quiet, Lena Dunham!), but unless your eyes possess the ability to magically increase the resolution of shit-ass video, … More »

Adrienne Bailon Tried To Save Karrueche Tran From Chris Brown

By: Photo Boy / November 4, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Chris Brown has been violently lashing out at women ever since he violently lashed out at Rihanna, almost killing her in the process. Yet here we are, five years later, somehow still shocked at his toddler-in-a-cereal-aisle meltdowns whenever someone asks his girlfriend "Are you sure … More »

Lena Dunham Cancels Book Tour Dates

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2014
"Ohmygod, she reminds me of my sister!" -- Is Hell hot? Yesterday, the Internet exploded over whether or not passages in Lena Dunham's book about early sexual curiosity (that were more than likely exaggerated) could somehow make a seven-year-old girl a child molester which is goddamn ridiculous … More »

Emily Ratajkowski Will Sell You ‘Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare’ Now

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2014
While today will determine the political future of our country until the presidential campaign season starts tomorrow, none of that involves tits and guns in exosuits, so America has but zero fucks to give as it prepares to celebrate today's true holiday. So here's Emily Ratajkowski in the new … More »

Welp, The Democrats Just Lost

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2014
While it's pretty much a given that today's midterm elections will favor the Republicans because old, white people have nothing but time on their hands to vote, Kim Kardashian tweeting her support for Obama isn't helping. You can just go ahead and call the whole thing right now. Not to mention, … More »

Maitland Ward Meets Stan Lee And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2014
- Here's what Eva Mendes looks like after squeezing out a Baby Goose baby. [Lainey Gossip] - Taylor Swift pulled all of her songs off Spotify. [Dlisted] - The Ever-Elusive Downblouse [theCHIVE] - Will Smith basically stalks his wife. [Fishwrapper] - Kate Upton will start your Election … More »

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