Alec Baldwin has been in some shit since calling a photographer a “cocksucking fag” yesterday, or “fathead” as acoustics will undoubtedly prove clearing Alec’s good, tolerant name. So to put a stop to this horseshit, Alec Baldwin set out to find his gay hairstylist and literally shove him in front of the cameras to make him do schtick. Which sounds bad enough until, not even exaggerating, he verbally and physically assaulted a news reporter and a photographer on his way to the salon because this was apparently his morning:
“Razza frazza, call me intolerant. *berates news reporters* I’ll fucking show them who doesn’t have a hateful bone in his body. What are you looking at?! *slams paparazzo into car* Teach them a lesson… *storms into salon* You! Faggot who cuts my hair, outside. NOW. *drags stylist outside* Make this look good. Gentleman! I’m glad you’re here. You see this man? He puts penises in his mouth yet I still let him cut my hair. Would a real homophobe do that? I don’t think so. Now, get back to work, ya cocksucker. Ha! See, how we kid? I hope he gets married to a nice fudgepacker. I really do. Now, back the fuck off, I have a gun.”
Photos: Splash News / Pacific Coast News
We’ve already seen Kim Kardashian attempting to drive while holding a purse in front of her face as her child sits helplessly in the backseat, so seeing her wedge her $200,000 Mercedes into a beam in a parking garage like she did yesterday (below) is actually pretty tame. However, it did give me an excuse to post new photos of her gigantic ass which apparently has an ass of its own now whose mark we’ll be forced to bear or face damnation in a sea of fire. The prophecy was quite clear.
Kim Kardashian Gets Her SUV Stuck After The Jump
Not too long ago, Jean-Claude Van Damme boldly described himself as a “very hard seed” of a man with a “kind of liquid cream substance” inside.
Today, he proved it. Today, he proved it.
Ever since Lindsay Lohan started posting selfies to Instagram, people have been paying attention to her, so here she is following up her crotch shot with a topless selfie of her saggy side boob because that’s all really anyone cares about anymore. We just want to check in on her breasts then go about our day. If only there was some way she could make money from that. Some way at all…
Full Lindsay Lohan Topless Picture After The Jump
- Adam Levine is PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive. [Lainey Gossip]
- Robin Thicke banged Britney Spears. [Dlisted]
- The Newly Single Chivettes Come Out To Play [theCHIVE]
- Kaley Cuoco is taking Jennifer Love Hewitt-ing to another level. [Fishwrapper]
- Courtney Stodden is a true feminist, you guys. [tooFab]
- John Oliver is getting his own show on HBO. [BuzzFeed]
- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in yoga pants. [Popoholic]
- Sarah Palin thinks The Pope is too liberal now. The Pope. [The Daily Banter]
- Goddamn, Karlie Kloss… [IDLYITW]
- Nina Agdal topless, anyone? [Hollywood Tuna]
- Living with Avril Lavigne is even more annoying than you think. [Celebslam]
- Kate Moss does Playboy. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- LeAnn Rimes is eating her insecurities now. [Amy Grindhouse]
- Jaden Smith has the cure for world hunger. [FilmDrunk]
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Photos: Splash News
When we last left Alec Baldwin, he was beating the shit out of the paparazzi, so you’ll be glad to know he’s evolved as a person and now just screams hate speech in their faces. TMZ reports:
Alec Baldwin is a sore winner … chasing down and threatening a photographer outside his Manhattan apartment … just hours after a courtroom victory this morning in his stalker case … and the whole thing was captured on video.
The video shows Baldwin — who was with his wife and baby — taking off in angry pursuit after the pap (not ours) … yelling, cursing and calling him a “cocksucking fag.”
Of course, Alec Baldwin has a talk show on a MSNBC to protect, so he’s claiming he only said “cocksucking fathead” which is so natural, it just rolls right off the tongue:
Further, Alec is threatening to sue TMZ for even suggesting that he used the homophobic slur.
Baldwin wrote, “Acoustic analysis proves the word is fathead. Fathead … Anti-gay slurs are wrong. They not only offend, but threaten hard fought tolerance of LGBT rights.”
Alec then added, “Isn’t it funny that Harvey Levin is accusing me, a liberal host on MSNBC, of hate speech when everyone knows Jews start all the world’s wars and suck the blood of infants? And I’m the intolerant one, ha! Smell my breath, Harvey, not a drop of baby on it. I’ll see you in court when I force your own people to destroy you for gold coins on the dollar. #NOH8″
UPDATE: It gets better.
Photos: Splash News