Good Morning, Alessandra Ambrosio, And Other News

October 6th, 2014 // 8 Comments

- Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis may have just Punk’d us with their baby.[Lainey Gossip]

- Kim Kardashian forgot her baby in a hotel. [Dlisted]

- Sunday Is A Good Day For Lingerie [theCHIVE]

- Melissa Etheridge still thinks Angelina Jolie is an idiot for chopping off her breasts. [Fishwrapper]

- That real name Facebook horseshit was all because of one troll. Of course. [The Frisky]

- The Luckiest Bastard In The World [WWTDD]

- Conservatives would prefer if school kids don’t learn about that whole slavery thing. [Death and Taxes]

- Emmy Rossum won the Michael Kors Special Dinner. [Popoholic]

- Sarah Silverman apparently played Joan Rivers in an SNL sketch. [tooFab]

- Kristin Cavallari is a reality star cougar now. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Lindsay Lohan got into a drunken fight. Balance has been restored to The Force. [Celebslam]

- Iggy Azalea‘s ass implant, anyone? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: AKM-GSI, FameFlynet

Candice Swanepoel Is Topless

October 5th, 2014 // 27 Comments

Here’s Candice Swanepoel posing topless in Hawaii, and I’ve already written – *counts* – 13 more words than I needed to write. Make that 23. See you in the morning. (28)

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Photos: FameFlynet/AKM-GSI

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.26

October 4th, 2014 // 42 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring probably the best and biggest roundup we’ve seen in a while. I’m not joking when I say at least half of these could’ve easily deserved the final spot, and if you’re wondering how this week’s made it, it’s Photo Boy‘s birthday and he loves Arnold Schwarzenegger almost as much as Prince Charles. In fact, I just described his dream threesome, so now I don’t even need to get him a gift. (There better be a lovely “Thank You” card on Monday, you bitch.)

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Lindsay & The Amazing Technicolor Dream Nipple

October 3rd, 2014 // 15 Comments

Here’s Lindsay Lohan at the after-party for the opening night of “Speed-the-Plow” where she managed to only forget one line and was deemed “competent without being exciting.” Which is pretty fucking amazing for Lindsay Lohan considering not a single review contained the words, “And then she try to blow everyone.” However, she did wear a dress that makes her nipples look like they have lens flare, so clearly she thinks she deserves to work with J.J. Abrams now. That shit went right to her head.

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Photos: Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News

Abigail Ratchford’s In A Bikini Again

October 3rd, 2014 // 10 Comments

It’s been way too long since we posted Abigail Ratchford pics, so here she is posing for Garry “Prophecy” Sun in Malibu, and again, I refuse to believe this chick is from Pennsylvania because nobody from this state is this hot. Trust me, I would’ve spotted them in all the cool places I go whenever I actually leave the house. I’m talking the comic book store, the toy aisle in Target, wherever they keep the superhero T-shirts at Old Navy, and sometimes even Cracker Barrel. Places you practically have to barricade women away from until they overpower you easily. Their arms are so strong.

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Kate Winslet Never ‘Snogged’ Leonardo DiCaprio

October 3rd, 2014 // 14 Comments
Leo Should Never Rap
Leonardo DiCaprio Squirt Gun
'I Thought It Was Mad Dope, Bro!'
- Jonah Hill Read More »

Kate Winslet was younger than 23 when she filmed Titanic, so based on everything we know about this world, Leonardo DiCaprio was required to have sex with her by law. But so far this week we’ve seen George Clooney get married and Mila Kunis birth Ashton Kutcher‘s baby, so somebody’s traveling through time and fucking his mom instead of pretending to be Darth Vader so his dad will have the confidence to ask her out. (And if you’re reading this, knock it off.) Which brings us to Kate’s new interview with Marie Claire UK where she denies “snogging” Leo because why wouldn’t the British describe fucking in Dr. Seuss terms? I will not snog in the fog, or with a hog on a log, said the frog in the bog. Via HuffPost:

“I think the reason that friendship works is because there was never any romantic thing,” Winslet said. “It’s so disappointing for people to hear that, because in the soap opera of the Kate and Leo story we fell in love at first sight and had a million snogs, but actually we never did. He always saw me as one of the boys. I’ve never really been a girly-girl.”

And with that, Jonah Hill slowly raised his scope removing the red dot from Kate’s chest as the two exchanged silent nods. This wasn’t her day to die. Blake Lively on the other hand…

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Photo: Getty

Nick Jonas Is Grabbing His Dick On The Internet

October 3rd, 2014 // 21 Comments
Nick Jonas Dick Underwear Flaunt

It’s been a few weeks since I tossed our penis-loving readers a bone with the Jared Leto dick GIF, so here’s Nick Jonas grabbing his for Flaunt which you can see more of on Dlisted where it will receive the proper treatment and respect it deserves. As opposed to here where we’re just going to Photoshop Joe Jonas into it because we’re 11. This is literally the depths of our comedy: More »

Pamela Anderson’s Breast Is Just Hanging Right Out

October 3rd, 2014 // 34 Comments

I was going to write about Joe and Terese Giudice‘s jail sentence, but we already knew that shit was coming because she milked her children’s fragile emotions for ratings. So here’s a post with some actual drama, but mostly Pamela Anderson‘s breast dangling out of her dress in the backseat of a car. It’s struggle is real.

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Photos: Pacific Coast News