- Taylor Swift wrote an op-ed on the music industry. Oh, good. [Lainey Gossip]
- Halle Berry‘s daughter is already better at relationships than her mother. [Dlisted]
- Jennifer Lawrence can be dead sexy. Even in GIFs. [theCHIVE]
- Robin Thicke is blaming “Blurred Lines” for ruining his marriage. [Fishwrapper]
- Jesus Christ, how many kids does Beyonce‘s dad have? [WWTDD]
- What’s up, Tatiane De Souza bikini photos? [Popoholic]
- In case you live in a bubble, there’s a new Harry Potter story out. [Starpulse]
- The Situation has a new reality show about his family? FRANK SORRENTINO OR GTFO. [tooFab]
- Good God, Anna Kelle. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Amy Hood is one very naked pin-up model. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
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Now that Shia LaBeouf has been effectively discredited thanks to a month of terrorizing New York with piss and butt-grabbing, it’s time to ask the hard questions about how he’s definitely a victim of MK Ultra. It’s totally obvious. Which brings us to Vigilant Citizen, a blog dedicated to pointing out how every single music video has the same exact imagery which is clearly the result of Illuminati manipulation and not, oh I dunno, Hollywood being a place where original thought goes to die. (That said, the dude’s write-up on True Detective is fucking bananaballs awesome because if anybody should write a breakdown of that show, it’s someone who actually believes there’s a psychosphere you can taste with your mouth.) Anyway, in VC’s latest post, his theory is that Shia LaBeouf was targeted for humiliation by his “MK handlers” back in 2008 when he told Jay Leno about an FBI consultant on the set of Eagle Eye who demonstrated to Shia that the government was recording “one out of every five conversations” either through our phones, home security or OnStar systems. Jump to four years later, and suddenly Shia’s naked in a Sigur Rós video eating a scorpion lollipop and being forced to wear a bag over his head. The evidence is all right there. OPEN YOUR EYES.
Videos After The Jump
Over the weekend, Chris Brown posted the above pic of Karrueche Tran‘s ass to Instagram only to delete it and every single picture of her from his account. Turns out she’d prefer the entire Internet not look up her butthole, so she dumped him, according to Radar Online. Which actually seems pretty tame in comparison to all the things Chris Brown has done, so let’s not pretend she won’t take him back after he plays the “At least I didn’t hit you (yet/again), baby!” card. That shit worked on Rihanna, and he almost killed her. It’s practically magic.
Photos: Instagram / INFphoto
Via Steve who probably thinks he’s safe in Canada. Hahaha! Fool.
Airlander 10: Up Close With The Gigantic Airship The US Army Wanted – The Verge 7.8.14
Photos: The Verge / Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News, WENN
I didn’t do nearly enough drugs in college to understand a single thing that’s happening right now, but here’s Miley Cyrus in the new Flaming Lips video “Blonde SuperFreak Steals the Magic Brain” which is apparently about Miley and Moby‘s minions (Lesbian Bigfoot and Naked Manson Girl, respectively) fighting over JFK’s brain because clearly everyone involved in this production looked at Cameron Diaz‘s face. I warned you this was going to happen, but no, you were all, “Sir, this is a Cinnabon,” and “Why is your penis wearing a Batman mask?” It’s like I’m talking to myself sometimes.
Miley Cyrus & The Flaming Lips ‘Blonde SuperFreak Steals the Magic Brain’ After The Jump
Here’s Cameron Diaz in Miami yesterday, and since I’m a blogger of sheer sexual delight, I’ll just go ahead and link to hottest pic of the bunch. It’s like looking at a whole other person, right? She could be literally anyone but Cameron Diaz and all the Cameron Diaz face that comes with- wait, why I am even mentioning it? Holy shit, it’s controlling my thoughts! I knew it was evil! ABANDON POST.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News
Now that she’s finally ditched her abusive fiance for the second time, Sofia Vergara is free to find a real man who won’t shill salad toppings at the White House because he’s too busy looking at his rippling abs glistening in the morning sun, just waiting to be touched in a sea of strong, yet supple ruggedness that will transport you to a land of pleasure spoken only of by kings. To even think about it, causes sweat to bead upon the brow as reason gives way to passion and time is but a stallion to be broken and tamed in a fiery tempest leaving only one word upon your lips, “Mangianello. Mangianello…”
I mean, Fuck her right in the pussy! Yup, that’s what I wrote, and not a single word about a rippling sea of abs. You saw what you wanted to see back there. That’s all I’m going to say.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News
- Ladies don’t love cool Leonardo. [Lainey Gossip]
- George Clooney‘s future mother-in-law sounds fun. [Dlisted]
- Tabitha Lipkin is keeping it classy, San Diego. [theCHIVE]
- Mila Kunis‘ coolness was a disguise to hide her life-long love of Asthon Kutcher. [Fishwrapper]
- Jessica Alba, also technically in a bikini. [WWTDD]
- Kaley Cuoco‘s technically in a bikini. [Popoholic]
- Demi Lovato hates Selena Gomez now. [Starpulse]
- David Arquette got engaged a week after Courteney Cox if anyone gives a shit. [tooFab]
- Megan Fox is on Instagram now. [IDLYITW]
- Helen Flanagan just made me very interested in tennis. [Hollywood Tuna]
- It’s Rihanna‘s nipples again. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
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Photos: Pacific Coast News