Lindsay Lohan’s Being Sued For $60 Million

October 31st, 2014 // 9 Comments
Lindsay's Gone Digital
Lindsay Lohan Weisses Fest
She's Stealing Apps Now Read More »

So remember when Lindsay Lohan and her brother stole that dude’s app? He actually thinks he’s getting $60 million out of them. C’mon, she’s not sucking that many dicks. — Is she? Page Six reports:

Actress Lindsay Lohan’s younger brother, once the scandal-scarred clan’s white sheep, is facing a $60 million lawsuit by a former business partner.
In court papers filed Thursday, Manhattan resident Fima Potik claims Michael Lohan Jr. — a summa cum laude grad of Ithaca College — and his famous sister stole his trade secrets and big-name advisors like Arianna Huffington from his online shopping company Spotted Friend to start a competing business.

And, no, you’re eyes aren’t deceiving you, Lindsay Lohan was going to be the focus of an app called “Spotted Friend.” The Lindsay Lohan. Jugsy Freckles. Because sometimes, but not often, the universe stops taking a shit all over your face and says, “I, Hilary Duff, do solemnly accept your marriage proposal. AHHHHHHHH…” Or that was just an hallucination I had. Let’s not argue over semantics.

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto

Jessica Biel’s Probably Pregnant

October 31st, 2014 // 19 Comments

The biggest rumor going around right now is that Jessica Biel is probably pregnant which was only fueled more by the editor of InStyle publicly congratulating her on her “impending motherhood,” and Justin Timberlake showing up to the amfAR Gala without her. On top of that, you’ve got these photos that cost way more than I can afford, so fortunately I have these two-year-old bikini photos of her butt which are sort of like clues. Maybe the ocean is the father? Did anyone think of that? No, it’s always about you.

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Photo: Fame/Flynet

Amanda Bynes Is On The Loose Again

October 31st, 2014 // 12 Comments
You Said 'A While'
Amanda Bynes LAX
It's Only Been Two Weeks Read More »

Things were looking good for Amanda Bynes this week. Doctors were looking to place her on an extended 30-day hold, her parents got another conservatorship and this time with a much better understanding of what happens if they let this one expire. Except without warning she was released last night and immediately started wandering the Sunset Strip before talking to herself in a diner. TMZ reports:

Sources familiar with Amanda’s treatment tell TMZ … she went before a hearing officer at the psychiatric facility Thursday, asking to be released. Amanda has been on her meds and sounds lucid, even though doctor’s say she is seriously mentally ill.
The hearing officer felt Amanda was stable enough that she could NOT be held involuntarily, so he ended the 30-day hold that had been granted last week and Amanda walked out the front door.
Amanda, who paid by credit card that did not have her name on it, did not seem “with it,” according to the waitress. She would carry on a conversation and then when the waitress walked away, Amanda would mumble to herself.

And while all of that sounds depressing as shit, keep in mind, nobody’s dating their daughter’s molester and bringing him around her other kids for a fucking pedophile’s feast, so this is literally the feel-good story of the week. I bought balloons.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News, TROV/AKM-GSI

Good Morning, Vivica Mitra, And Other News

October 31st, 2014 // 6 Comments

- Twas not Gwyneth who bowed to Justin Timberlake, but the other way around… [Lainey Gossip]

- You’re getting another Pee-wee Herman movie. [Dlisted]

- Things That Bounce Thursday: Experience it again for the very first time. [theCHIVE]

- Alessandra Ambrosio is naked. [tooFAB]

- #GamerGate is going to bring down Viacom now. Good luck with that. [The Frisky]

- That’s Chloe Sevigny topless. [WWTDD]

- You can get college credit for reading The Superficial now. [Death and Taxes]

- Fucking. Love. This. Tumblr. [Girls in Cute Underwear]

- Xenia Deli‘s in a bikini now. [Popoholic]

- Lindsay Lohan isn’t dating Tom Cruise. Relax. [Fishwrapper]

- What’s up, Holly Hagan? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Good God, Sabrina Ioffreda… [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Chelsea Handler’s Naked Breasts Have Declared War On Instagram

October 30th, 2014 // 59 Comments
Previously In Topless
Candice Swanepoel Topless
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The last time Chelsea Handler showed everyone a naked breast, it was to promote her SiriusXM interview with Dave Grohl. This time she’s doing it to fuck with Instagram. And possibly all of us. It is the Devil’s Eve. Anyway, here’s the caption for the first (Correction: SECOND) topless pic:

Taking this down is sexist. I have every right to prove I have a better body than Putin.

And here’s her response after it was immediately pulled:

If a man posts a photo of his nipples, it’s ok, but not a woman? Are we in 1825?

Which didn’t deter her because, dammit, people are going to look at Chelsea Handler’s naked boobs if they have to look at Vladimir Putin‘s. The universe demands equaltitrium! More »

Queen Latifah Cancels Bill Cosby Interview Because of Rape Allegations

October 30th, 2014 // 22 Comments
Bill Cosby
'Yeah, But You Rape People'
Bill Cosby
Hannibal Buress Calls Out Bill Cosby Read More »

And now back to awful. Last week, Hannibal Buress managed to remind the entire Internet that Bill Cosby has a long history of rape allegations. Except just like the last time this happened, it was already looking it would blow over again because Bill Cosby tells black people to pull up their pants and hates the hip-hop music, so what’s a little rape? But then Barbara Bowman gave an interview to the Daily Mail detailing her alleged assault, and now The Queen Latifah Show has cancelled his interview which is fucking huge. TMZ reports:

Bill Cosby won’t be promoting his new comedy tour on Queen Latifah’s talk show … because the Queen and her crew got cold feet after rape allegations resurfaced.

Production sources tell us Latifah honchos didn’t want the association so the 86′d Cosby.

The Superficial is told Bill Cosby doesn’t have any hard feelings and would gladly have Queen Latifah over for drinks. In fact, he’ll even make them himself. “I’m quite the bartender with the Theo and the Vanessa and the Rudy and the drugs. Oh, bozzum bizzum pudding pops said too much and the picture pages having a sizzum sazzum stroke again. Somebody bizz ball a doctor. Theo!”

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Photo: Getty

At Least Jenny McCarthy’s Breasts Aren’t Horribly Damaging Kids- Wait

October 30th, 2014 // 8 Comments

Usually this is the part where I post T&A pics to rinse everybody’s brains from the child-destroying garbage that came before it. It’s a small service I provide for the community, but I don’t like to brag about it. Except I kind of fucked up and forgot to leave out the part where kids get absolutely screwed. There were boobs, and the butter woman was all, “Ah, chicaboog noon-eeg, Solo. You weren’t molested. Ho ho ho ho.” Things got a little hectic.

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Photos: Getty, MPNC/AKM-GSI

Mama June: ‘The Truth Will Come Out On My Side’

October 30th, 2014 // 32 Comments
Mama June Shannon

Mama June Shannon gave an exclusive interview to E! News yesterday to let everyone know that the protection of her kids is her “number one priority” which she’ll now demonstrate by giving indirect answers about whether she’s dating a child molester who raped one daughter in front of another one. She honestly should’ve been a lawyer that’s how convincing she is. Via Gawker: More »