Bette Midler Told Ariana Grande Not To Whore Herself

November 25th, 2014 // 63 Comments
From Disney To Vulva Wedgie
Miley Cyrus Vagina
Where's The Hate For The Crotch That Launched Them All, Bette? Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

Ariana Grande looks like a child, but in reality she’s a grown woman who loves to dress like a prostitute and perform sultry dances to the terrible, terrible music she makes. To lecherous old men, this type of thing is irresistible. To idiotic young girls, it’s a career aspiration. To the dying music industry, it’s a golden goose that lays a million other golden geese a day. So I’m not really sure why Bette Midler, a veteran of the music and entertainment industries, can’t grasp why everyone involved in the creation of an Ariana Grande won’t stop using her butt like an ATM. Via Jezebel: More »

Christian Bale Wanted To Play Batman Again

November 25th, 2014 // 16 Comments
Don't Sweat It, Christian
Chadwick Boseman Black Panther
Marvel Has DC's Nuts In A Vise Anyway Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

Before the Internet collectively shat itself over Ben Affleck being cast as Batman, there was fleeting hope that Christian Bale was going to return for a Justice League movie until he effectively shot that shit down. But now, to the gnashing teeth of nerds everywhere who already decided to pretend that Batfleck isn’t going to suck balls even though Daredevil, it seems the hero they deserved, but not the one they needed right now really needed to be deserved after all. (I have no clue what I’m talking about anymore.) via FilmDrunk:

“I’ve got to admit initially, even though I felt that it was the right time to stop, there was always that bit of me going, ‘Oh go on… let’s do another.’ So when I heard there was someone else doing it, there was a moment where I just stopped and stared into nothing for half an hour. But I’m 40. The fact that I’m jealous of someone else playing Batman… I think I should have gotten over it by now. I haven’t spoken with Ben, but I emailed him offering bits of advice that I learned the hard way. I would imagine he is doing everything he can to avoid doing anything that I did.”

You mean he’s trying to not completely turf the last act of a trilogy after immediately making probably the most iconic super-hero movie of all time? Yes, that’s a given, but I’m sure he’s mostly just trying to keep Zack Snyder away from the slo-mo button in the edit bay. “Quickly Jennifer, he’s licensing an Evanescence song for the soundtrack, you know what to do!” *roundhouse kicks head off*

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Photo: Splash News

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

November 25th, 2014 // 20 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

- Jennifer Aniston still has to talk about the Rachel haircut. [Lainey Gossip]

- Demi Lovato says she has nothing in common with Miley Cyrus, but I believe penis cake would tell a whole different tale. [Fishwrapper]

- Amber Heard is tired of old penis is how I read this. [Dlisted]

- This gallery isn’t tits, but it’s worth it for Asian Johnny Depp, I swear. [theCHIVE]

- Scientology is getting an HBO documentary. I didn’t even know Matt Lauer worked there. [The Frisky]

- Rose McGowan is going to continue being topless. Get on board. [WWTDD]

- Michael Bay‘s boner just exploded. It died. [Death and Taxes]

- Jessica Alba‘s Instagramming workout videos now. [Popoholic]

- Kim K Superstar earns Ray J $360,000 a year. *hangs self* [Celebslam]

- Bella Thorne is about to go full “Fuck You, Disney.” [Hollywood Tuna]

- This is Alyssa Arce completely naked. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photo:Splash News

Bill Cosby’s ‘Fixer’ Comes Forward: A Pudding Pop of Rape Report

November 24th, 2014 // 145 Comments

It’s been 72 hours since I last wrote about Bill Cosby, so naturally five more accusers have come forward along with a former NBC employee who claims that he stood guard outside of Cosby’s dressing room door The Cosby Show years while Dr. Huxtable brought in model after model, some allegedly as young as 16 before paying them off. Which seems odd because I’m sure they just looked at sweaters. Sluts are always looking at sweaters. (Am I doing it right?) More »

The 2014 American Music Awards

November 24th, 2014 // 118 Comments

Now that we’ve seen Nakedsaurus, Rise of The Sasquatch Nip Guardians, Cry For Me, Justintina, and BUTTFORCE 9000, here’s the rest of The 2014 American Music Awards which you’ll probably notice contains a disproportionate amount of Kate Beckinsale pics even though she’s not a musical artist. Like anyone else there was. Check your privilege.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, MPNC / Piaggio / AKM-GSI, Splash News

AMAs: Jennifer Lopez & Iggy Azalea Touched Butts

November 24th, 2014 // 20 Comments

ABC explicitly warned Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea not to touch butts while performing “Booty” for the AMAs because it’s a family show. Which is funny because on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., another “family show” designed to promote Disney’s Marvel universe, I watched a man murder a woman before carving alien hieroglyphics into her corpse. Then again, you couldn’t see her sex parts, so gather around, children! Anyway, here’s JLo and Iggy defying said warnings and touching butts which did not send humanity plunging into darkness. However, if Kim Kardashian’s ass had rolled in and touched their connected butts, we’d all be speaking a strange dialect and harvesting cloud gems to power intergalactic space elevators. I have foreseen it.

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, MPNC/AKM-GSI, Splash News

AMAs: Selena Gomez Didn’t Wear A Bra

November 24th, 2014 // 20 Comments

I wasn’t joking about gunning through these, so here’s Selena Gomez at the AMAs where she wore a braless dress and cry-sang about Justin Bieber because 22-year-olds are dumb. Congratulations, you are now the foremost expert on all things Selena Gomez and may now demand the severed, gilded hands of your co-workers’ children as tribute. Or an omelet bar. Whatever you people do in offices. I don’t have all day for this.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, MPNC / Piaggio / AKM-GSI, Splash News

AMAs: Kendall & Kylie Brought The ‘Squatch

November 24th, 2014 // 39 Comments

Full Disclosure: I’ve got another giant-ass post to write about Bill Cosby, so I’m literally just throwing AMAs pics in your face starting with the least relevant and working my way up. Which is probably the greatest compliment I’ll ever give the Kardashians because I posted Kylie, Kendall and Khloe after Bleona Qereti and immediately regret it. More importantly, Kylie flashed her nipple during E!’s red carpet coverage because Kris Jenner‘s Internet game is strong, but I’m going to stick to just linking it because I can already see Chris Hansen hiding inside my coffee mug even though Miley Cyrus‘ vagina taught us in 2010 that that shit’s entirely legal. What now, Hansen? – *takes sip of coffee, gets punched in the tongue* – Dammit! It was that. That’s what’s now.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Piaggio/AKM-GSI, Splash News