Hey, bleacher! Leave Noomi Rapace alone!
It’s been almost three months since our last Courtney Stodden post, and I honestly forgot she’s still a thing. So here she is at a fashion show for transsexual superheroes last night which, in fairness, is probably the exact kind of event Courtney Stodden should be invited to. Also ones that showcase the battery life of Real Dolls because, holy shit, can she hold a charge. There’s not a shot of Doug holding jumper cables anywhere.
Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News
For a man who openly and unabashedly bangs Real Housewives and random women at Coachella in chemical toilets, Gerard Butler still has impressive game because he spent not one, but two red carpet events flirting with a willing, and married, Miranda Kerr. On top of that, he’s apparently capable of a “bro-hug” that’s like getting kissed by Superman. Page Six reports:
Later [the night after the MET Gala] at a Brooks Brothers and Town & Country-sponsored party for the film [The Great Gatsby] at the Lambs Club, Hollywood hunk Gerard Butler was seen chatting up Orlando Bloom’s wife, former Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr. But Butler was then spotted asking fotogs to erase any shots of them together, several spies told Page Six. “When he approached one photographer to erase the photos, they high-fived and bro-hugged,” one source said, adding, Butler and Kerr “had been standing close in conversation for 20 minutes. She was smiling.”
Keep in mind, the last high-profile celebrity Gerard Butler banged was Jessica Biel who’s reaction to that situation was to immediately run back into the arms of a man who wasn’t even hiding that he plowed everyone in Hollywood when she wasn’t looking. So I don’t know what Gerard Butler’s secret is, but we should probably concentrate it and inject it into my veins because I’m pretty sure my soul will haunt the earth forever if I don’t find out what Blake Lively‘s vagina feels like. That would be just my luck.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, INF, Splash News, WENN
Gwyneth Paltrow may have been all smiles on the MET Gala red carpet, but you see that’s her gift as an actress, for deep in her gluten-free heart she was actually quite bored and stifled from the heat. Were there not beautiful Venetian albino children available to cool her with raptor feathers? One calculates such a thing would be quite necessary. Quite necessary indeed. USA Today reports:
“I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all,” says Paltrow.
Of course, methinks the Duchess Paltrow had another reason to never return which she’s neglected to speak of. Perhaps there was something different from previous years. Something that had no business being there yet was forever besmirching all those in attendance. If only I could put my finger on it, or maybe cover it with an afghan and some decorative throw pillows. Just give me a minute, it’ll come to me.
Photos: Getty, Splash News
In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Bob Marley-incarnate/family-friendly reggae artist Snoop Lion reveals he actually used to be a literal pimp in case everybody didn’t already figure that out from his outfits which he also admits was 90% of the reason why he became one in the first place:
“I did a Playboy tour, and I had a bus follow me with ten bitches on it. I could fire a bitch, fuck a bitch, get a new ho: It was my program. City to city, titty to titty, hotel room to hotel room, athlete to athlete, entertainer to entertainer.”
“It was never about the money; it was about the fascination of being a pimp . . . As a kid I dreamed of being a pimp, I dreamed of having cars and clothes and bitches to match. I said, ‘Fuck it – I’m finna do it.’”
But like all Snoop stories, this one ends with him
smoking his face off in a Jamaican cave so hard he genuinely believes he’s a lion having a heart of gold:
Unlike most pimps, Snoop says he let his women keep the money. “I’d act like I’d take the money from the bitch, but I’d let her have it.”
“I mean, shit, I’d choke her, slap her around, make a motherfuckin’ show of it, but at the end of the day, the bitch earned that money fuckin’ all them ball players I sold her to. I ain’t no monster.”
“See? That screen’s not calibrated right. I’m way prettier than you guys.”
I know absolutely nothing about Vampire Diaries, and barely more than about Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder. In fact my knowledge basically consists of one is crazy hot and the other wanted to bang his sister on Lost. But apparently them breaking up is big news, so here that is. Us Weekly reports:
The Vampire Diaries costars, who play Elena Gilbert and Damon Salvatore on the CW hit series, have called it quits after more than three years of dating, a source tells Us Weekly exclusively.
The couple, who first took their romance public in 2011, are “consummate professionals,” the insider says, and “will continue to work together and remain best friends, which is where the relationship started.”
This probably explains why Nina has been hanging out with Julianne Hough lately because single ladies be doing it for themselves. And by doing it for themselves I mean talking about what it’s like to wear a mustache during sex or Ryan Seacrest sends a Kardashian after your family. Legend has it he carries Kourtney in a messenger bag that doesn’t even clash with his chinos.
Photos: Photo: Getty, Splash News
- Just how fucked is Kristen Stewart‘s career right now? [Lainey Gossip]
- Macaulay Culkin and Pete Doherty are roommates now. Yessss… [Dlisted]
- Redhead selfies truly are an act of random kindness. [theCHIVE]
- Britney Spears‘ Shape cover may have been Photoshopped. Just a tad. [tooFab]
- Tom Brady sees dead people. [BuzzFeed]
- Jessica Lowndes is still the poor man’s Megan Fox. [Popoholic]
- God has perfect opportunity to kill Chris Brown, doesn’t. [IDLYITW]
- McKayla Maroney‘s tweeting bikini pics now. [Hollywood Tuna]
- And Kendall Jenner‘s posing in them or Kris Jenner stabs a puppy. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Zach Braff describes the hate about his Kickstarter as “deliciously yummy.” [FilmDrunk]
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Photos: Getty, INF, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN