Kim Kardashian To Adrienne Bailon: ‘Shut Up About My Fat Brother I Don’t Care About’

July 30th, 2014 // 13 Comments
Colbert Destroys Kim
Stephen Colbert Kim Kardashian App
He Took The Piss Out of Her (Count It!) Read More »

Kim Kardashian hasn’t spoken to Rob since her wedding where he wouldn’t stop being fat for her pictures and left instead. It was a simple request! Anyway, his ex Adrienne Bailon is now in the business of trashing their time together on account of him cheating on her constantly and his family tainting her career. So if you really want proof that Kim doesn’t write her own tweets, here’s her Twitter account suddenly showing concern for the, uh, fat kid. What’s his face? Bob. Sweet Bob.

Funny how she says being with a Kardashian hurt her career yet the only reason she has this article is bc she is talking about a Kardashian
#LetItGoooooLetItGoooooo (FROZEN VOICE)
So sad when people try to kick my brother when he is down #FamilyForever

#FamilyForever #UnlessYoureFat #WhichTechnicallyIAm #ButInAGoodWay #ThatGuysWantToHaveSexWith #MostlyInTheButt #KanyeShrug

Photos: Splash News

Megan Fox Isn’t George Zimmerman

July 30th, 2014 // 14 Comments

Because you don’t come to this site to read about how small your dick is for cowering like a pussy behind guns, here’s Megan Fox at the Mexico City premiere of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where I’ll assume the promotional poster featured the Turtles chopping off the heads of their enemies. Or they’re just taking naps in sombreros. I go back and forth.

Photos: Splash News

George Zimmerman Is Randomly Guarding Businesses Now, Oh Good

July 30th, 2014 // 54 Comments
George Zimmerman
Come Again?
George Zimmerman
George Zimmerman's Fighting For Trayvon Martin Read More »

“George, they infiltrated the police, George. We’re sitting ducks.”
“There’s a gun inside my rectum. You know what to do.”

When we last left George Zimmerman, he was attempting to make money by competing in underground fight clubs to benefit The Trayvon Martin Foundation (You just read all of those words.), so you’ll be happy to know that didn’t work and he’s homeless and broke. Well, broke monetarily, but not in spirit because, you see, there’s been some break-ins in Florida lately, so George has taken it upon himself to see they don’t happen again by acting as a sort of self-appointed night-watch which ended super awesome the last time that happened provided your definition of awesome is using a gun for the exact reason it was purchased: Killing black people over something. Literally anything. Radar reports:

It was discovered Zimmerman was guarding the shop just after midnight early Monday morning when a police officer found the former neighborhood watch crusader inside the store.
Zimmerman reportedly told the officer “he was watching the business due to a recent burglary” for his friend, the store’s owner, Pat Johnson.

Except Pat Johnson is running for mayor and would like it known that not only did he not hire George Zimmerman as a security guard, the dude just started sitting outside in his truck on his own. WESH 2 News reports: More »

How Hot Did Selena Gomez Look While Justin Bieber Got Punched In The Face?

July 30th, 2014 // 21 Comments

Chipmunk hooker hot? I’m going with chipmunk hooker hot.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Ivon Miguel/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Divorce? What Divorce?

July 30th, 2014 // 10 Comments
Jay Z Blue Ivy Beyonce Instagram

Over the past two weeks, the New York Post has dedicated its life to proving Jay Z and Beyonce are getting a divorce because he cheated with Rihanna, so here’s Beyonce’s first attempt at either refuting or downplaying those rumors by posting an Instagram photo of Jay Z holding Blue Ivy (above). More importantly, she posted this picture of her breasts which seemed like a useful clue at the time. Maybe there are divorce documents between them. You never know, you never know. More »

Justin Bieber Pissed Off Legolas By Bragging About Miranda Kerr

July 30th, 2014 // 26 Comments

Now that Orlando Bloom is the hero the Internet deserves, but not the one it needs right now, here’s what prompted him to take a swing at a lesbian rapper early this morning, according to Page Six:

“Justin was at one table, and Orlando was at another,” a source told us. “But when Bieber and his party were later walking past Bloom’s table, Orlando refused to shake Bieber’s hand.” Then “Bieber said something rude to Orlando, like, ‘She was good.’”

And, of course, Justin’s people have their own spin which surprisingly doesn’t involve him getting baptized:

Another source close to Bieber countered that the pop star didn’t make any rude comment and that “Justin didn’t even know Orlando was there. But when they saw each other, it was Orlando who was just being an a-hole to Justin.”

And you know what? That bullshit might’ve actually worked had Justin Bieber not posted a bikini picture of Miranda Kerr on Instagram immediately after the fight: More »

Nathasha Henstridge Looks Like This Now And Other News

July 30th, 2014 // 40 Comments

- Jennifer Garner won’t let Ben Affleck be friends with Kevin Smith. [Lainey Gossip]

- A woman named Princess abandoned her kids to blow a guy at Walmart? Get out. [Dlisted]

- Suns Out, Buns Out [theCHIVE]

- Nobody gives a shit anymore, Miley Cyrus. [Fishwrapper]

- How I Learned To Love (Or At Least Tolerate) The Titty F**k [The Frisky]

- God told Alabama it doesn’t have obey federal laws. Sounds legit. [The Daily Banter]

- Maryna Linchuk‘s in lingerie. [Popoholic]

- Zoe Saldana got naked. [Starpulse]

- Kim Zolciak‘s taking bikini selfies now. [tooFab]

- Chris Brown‘s neighbors want to shoot him. [IDLYITW]

- Goddamn, Lucy Bayet… [Hollywood Tuna]

- Reminder: Nina Agdal is fucking hot. [Celebslam]

- Sylvie van der Vaart‘s in a bikini. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photo: FameFlynet/AKM-GSI

Orlando Bloom Took A Swing At Justin Bieber

July 29th, 2014 // 27 Comments
That Sounds About Right
Miranda Kerr Nude GQ British
Bieber Bragged About Banging Miranda Kerr Read More »

Seen here partying his dick off in Spain, Orlando Bloom reportedly took a swing at Justin Bieber Wednesday morning Ibiza time causing the hardest rapper in all of Canada-land to flee a restaurant because of the prettiest elf in Middle Earth. And to the applause of every single person there if not humanity at large. TMZ reports:

Orlando Bloom got in Justin Bieber’s face early Wednesday morning in Ibiza … and Justin fled the restaurant — and one eyewitness says Orlando threw a punch.
The eyewitness tells TMZ … Orlando was in Cipriani restaurant which was packed with celebs, including Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Diddy.
Listen closely as you watch the video. It sounds like Justin, in the middle of a shoving match, screams, “What’s up bitch?”
You don’t see Orlando swing, but the eyewitness tells us that’s exactly what happened. And we’re told when Bieber left the crowd applauded.

Considering they both banged each other’s exes (Selena, Miranda) yet both have been spotted on yachts full of groupies (Justin, Orlando), I can’t imagine what the issue might be. Except I can, and it’s Orlando Bloom hates black people. Oh, so what? They can’t eat the same restaurant as you? ROSA PARKS, BITCH!

UPDATE: Apparently Justin Bieber bragged about Miranda Kerr. That’ll do it.

Photos: Xposure/AKM-GSI