Stephen Hawking Wants To Be A Bond Villain

December 2nd, 2014 // 22 Comments
Stephen Hawking

Despite being an atheist, there are times when even I can’t deny the existence of a kind and benevolent god, and those times are when Stephen Hawking wants to be a Bond villain because, and I quote, “I think the wheelchair and the computer voice would fit the part.” So needless to say, you know exactly where this is going and with Photo Boy gone, it’s a fucking miracle there’s anything else on the site. Anyway, enjoy, and why do I suddenly get the feeling this was Stephen Hawking’s way of letting us know he put a Doomsday Device in his sex lounge? And I’m not talking about his penis! BAM. High five, Big Wheel- oh, right, paralyzed.

Stephen Hawking: Bond Villain After The Jump

Cara Delevingne Seduced Kendall Into Bailing On Victoria’s Secret

December 2nd, 2014 // 34 Comments

It’s been Kendall Jenner‘s dream to walk the Victoria’s Secret runway, but on the eve of its London takeover, she took off across Europe with a drunk, panty flashing Cara Delevingne which is exactly what I would’ve done in her situation minus the part where they hung out with Karl Lagerfeld because his glasses scare me. And now I can’t help thinking I’m part Kardashian because I’m also open to starring in pornography. With real people this time, and not that business with the coat rack and a hot water bottle. We’re not here to talk about my birthday(s).

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Photos: Vantagenews/AKM-GSI

Bill Cosby Resigns From Temple Board of Trustees

December 2nd, 2014 // 83 Comments
Bill Cosby
Cosby's 'Fixer' Comes Clean
Bill Cosby Stand Up
Alleges Sex With Underage Models Read More »

When we last left Bill Cosby, even his biographer was throwing him under the bus and launching his own investigation into the rapidly growing list of accusers and accomplices who have come forward. Since then, UMass – where Cosby scored his sham education degree – and the Berklee College of Music have severed their affiliations, and now comes word that Bill Cosby has preemptively resigned from Temple University‘s board of trustees ahead of a rumored sit-down school officials were planning with him next week. Gawker reports:

Patrick O’Connor, the attorney who defended Cosby in that civil suit, is the chairman of Temple’s board. He “accepted Cosby’s resignation and thanked him for his service” today.
“I have always been proud of my association with Temple University,” said Cosby. “I have always wanted to do what would be in the best interests of the University and its students. As a result, I have tendered my resignation from Temple University Board of Trustees.”

Meanwhile, as more accusers come forward and identify themselves, Camille Cosby is slipping comfortably into her role as the new Dottie Sandusky by wholeheartedly supporting her husband. People reports: More »

Scarlett Johansson Secretly Got Married Again If Anyone Gives A Shit

December 2nd, 2014 // 18 Comments
Don't Call ScarJo ScarJo
Scarlett Johansson Cleavage Under The Skin Premiere Venice International Film Festival
Scarjo Doesn't Like That Read More »

Because I’ll use any excuse to post bikini photos, here are some words about Scarlett Johansson‘s secret wedding to that French guy who knocked her up, Radicchio Something. Via Page Six:

A source tells Page Six, “Scarlett and Romain were married in a very intimate ceremony after the birth of their daughter. They kept the wedding a big secret because they both wanted privacy.”
While it had been speculated the couple would marry in Dauriac’s native Paris, the source said the wedding took place at a secret location in the US, away from the spotlight of Hollywood or Johansson’s home town of New York. The pair wed on Oct. 1 in Philipsburg, Montana, a clerk for Granite County told People.

How all of us lived these past two months without this information is a true testament to the human spirit. A lesser species would’ve died, and that’s right, I’m talking about you, the platypus. Don’t close the tab, you duck-billed bitch. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!

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Photos: Splash News

Good Morning, Miranda Kerr, And Other News

December 2nd, 2014 // 18 Comments

- Miley Cyrus and The Gropenator‘s son spent Thanksgiving together. [Lainey Gossip]

- Wait, wait. Aubrey O’Day has a face? [Fishwrapper]

- Scary Spice used to pick up MILFs before she met her husband. [Dlisted]

- Girls In Excessively Tight Dresses [theCHIVE]

- Emotional Support Pigs don’t do well on airplanes. I’m as shocked as you are. [The Frisky]

- Maitland Ward eating ice cream. [WWTDD]

- Aww, the poor policemen got their fee-fees hurt. [Death and Taxes]

- Xenia Deli in holiday lingerie, anyone? [Popoholic]

- Julia Pereira‘s in a bikini. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Top 20 Sexiest Instagram Girls [COED]

- People are freaking out over this Jessica Alba bikini pic. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: The Grosby Group/AKM-GSI

Anais Zanotti Is The Crap I Missed – Monday 12.1.14

December 1st, 2014 // 10 Comments

Alright, folks, normally this would be the part where Photo Boy drops The Crap We Missed on you, but he’s in Mexico all week with Mrs. Photo Boy who I do not have a voodoo doll of. Who told you that? Anyway, here’s Anais Zanotti doing yoga to put a nice bow on today, and by bow I mean you can stare into her crotch while she does stretches. So basically the kind Santa uses. See you tomorrow.

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Photos: FameFlynet

Scott Stapp Is Out of His Goddamn Mind

December 1st, 2014 // 35 Comments
Scott Stapp
Obama Never Forgets
Scott Stapp Creed
The Day Scott Stapp Turned The Election. But Not Really. Read More »

Just like Mickey Rourke “winning” a boxing match, a lot of people wrote in over the holiday to let me know that Scott Stapp is supposedly broke and living in a Holiday Inn. And just like the Mickey Rourke story, there’s a simple explanation, and it’s Scott Stapp is crazy. Fucking bananaballs crazy. Turns out he was placed under a three-day psychiatric hold before going on Facebook and saying he’s homeless which he then followed up with the greatest hits of delusional nuts: ISIS is coming after his kids’ school, Obama’s using the IRS to silence him, and taking prayer out of school has destroyed America. Literally all the hallmarks of crazy. Via Mediaite:

We’ve taken God out of everything — we won’t allow kids to pray to Christ or God in our public schools, but we sure will make allowances for Muslims and Hindus and Buddhists to have their freedom of religion. So we take Christianity out but then we inundate our children’s minds with the freedom of religion for everybody else. I mean, we’re humans, we’re made up of body, mind and soul. Right now, we have a generation of children and people all the way up to their forties who have a complete soul sickness because God has been removed out of American culture and relegated to churches. Except for it’s printed on our money, because what I’m starting to realize is that’s really what’s become the God of America: money.

Except here’s the amazing part: Even Scott Stapp read all that and went, “Holy shit, what am I saying?!,” and fucking deleted it. Via Facebook: More »

Those Are Madonna’s Nipples

December 1st, 2014 // 53 Comments

Here’s posing Madonna posing topless for Interview who I’m going to assume were forced to make her nipples look like buttons on a battleship or else she’d shoot lightning at them from her goat staff. It’s classic Madonna.

“So, how do you want these to look?”
“Like lighter buttons on an old grill.”
“What? Why?”
“YOU DARE QUESTION MY WAYS, MORTAL?!” *puts curse on Sleeping Beauty*

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Photo: Marcus Piggott, Mert Alas / Interview