Aubrey O’Day Is A Talented Performer

July 11th, 2014 // 24 Comments

Wait. Talented means having really large breasts that overshadow crazy eyes, an almost stunning lack of agility in a situation that routinely requires it, and basically everything else on a person’s entire body? Because I feel like I’m using that right. There’s just something in my gut. Or Aubrey O’Day‘s, whatever. I’m not a doctor.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

Is Your Girlfriend On ‘Glee?’ You’re Going To Die

July 11th, 2014 // 8 Comments
Becca Tobin Boyfriend Matt Bendik

Public safety > decorum. Sorry, folks, I have a responsibility. *goes back to searching for more butt-pee*

‘Glee’ Star Becca Tobin Boyfriend Found Dead in Philly Hotel – TMZ

Photo: Instagram

Selena Gomez Has No Idea What Her Nipples Are Doing Now

July 11th, 2014 // 28 Comments

When Courtney Stodden got cartoonishly bigger implants last year, she went through a short adjustment period where her old clothes didn’t exactly fit the same because physics. And now here’s recently retitted Selena Gomez not realizing she posted her own nipple slip to Instagram because her life’s following the same exact path as Courtney Stodden’s and, oh God, I just killed her, didn’t I? I fucking killed her. I’m sorry!

Jesus Christ, Kelly Brook, And Other News

July 10th, 2014 // 27 Comments

- Robin Thicke‘s new album is not doing well. [Lainey Gossip]

- Farrah Abraham‘s backdoor yogurt restaurant website got hacked. [Dlisted]

- A Bikini A Day Keeps The Doctor Away [theCHIVE]

- Khloe Kardashian knows how to pick ‘em. [Fishwrapper]

- The iPhone 6‘s new screen can survive a stabbing, so good news, serial killers! [The Frisky]

- Goddamn, Hailey Clauson bikini photos. [Popoholic]

- I actually agree with Stacey Dash for once. [Starpulse]

- Candace Cameron in a bikini? I don’t think Jesus is gonna like this. [tooFab]

- Mel Gibson wants to help Shia LaBeouf now. [IDLYITW]

- What the hell happened to Sophie Monk? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Wonkboobs does Me In My Place. [Celebslam]

- I think Cara Delevingne‘s eyebrows are hot. There, I said it. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: RAAK/AKM-GSI

Get Your Naked Titties Away From Will Smith

July 10th, 2014 // 26 Comments

“Will! Will! Look at my boobs! I took out my boobs for you!”
“Girl, get outta here. The man’s trying to tell me about his boat.”
“So, as you can see, Will, below deck offers complete privacy. The help knows never to disturb.. my work.”

Photos: FameFlynet, Splash News

Is That Pee On Kim Kardashian’s Butt? A Serious Investigative Report

July 10th, 2014 // 40 Comments

I’m literally trying to post anything, anything at all, besides Rosie O’Donnell returning to The View and all the caterwauling that entails, so here’s Kim Kardashian at Fashion Week in Paris with some sort of liquid all over her giant butt, so just assume Kanye got an M&M afterward for learning to go like a big boy. “Bitch, I said I wanted Buzz Lightyear Pull-ups, not this Jake and The Neverland Pirates shit!” I like to imagine him saying because I’m 11 and just wrote a published article about going pee-pee. I live a rich life.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

You Forgot Tatiana Maslany, You Idiots!

July 10th, 2014 // 27 Comments
Tatiana Maslany Orphan Black

This has been our complete coverage of The 2014 Emmy Nominations.

“In-Depth Journalism: We Dip Our Balls In It” – THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photo: BBC America

That’s Ashley Benson Topless

July 10th, 2014 // 30 Comments
Goddamn Treasure Trove
Spring Breakers
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Because apparently it’s “Remember The Breasts of Spring Breakers Day” (Selena Gomez‘s implants, anyone?), here’s Ashley Benson sunbathing topless while vacationing in Hawaii last week. And if you’re wondering if the agencies hold back photos only to charge me extra for them at a later date because they have nipples, yes. Yes, they do. It’s like they know I’ll do anything for them. Perhaps even kill a man.

Photos: FameFlynet