Because nothing quite heals the wounds of getting dumped by your wife like plowing a Megan Fox lookalike, here’s Pete Wentz with his girlfriend Meagan Camper on Justin Bieber‘s turf yesterday. Which is also a reminder that being rich not only places you above the law, but lets you have sex with women so far out of your league you have to take a space shuttle just to see a nipple. You may sob uncontrollably while holding your flaccid penis as you stare at your bank account now. — No, really, I don’t want to be the only one doing it.
Above is shotcaller Justin Bieber lettin’ them paparazzi know there’s only one mothafucka who runs Miami, and his moms don’t like him havin’ no sugar cereals for breakfast, bitch, so you best be steppin’. TMZ reports:
The incident occurred outside The Hit Factory recording studio at around 4 AM … just hours before Bieber’s security guards allegedly choked another photographer, and tried to jack his camera equipment as well.
On the tape, you hear Justin scream to his bodyguards, “Grab that camera!!! Get that f***ing camera out of here!!!”
You can hear the photog plead with Justin, who responds like a benevolent prince, “Alright, alright. I’m gonna give you your camera back. I’m gonna take your SIM card though.”
The photog begs and pleads to let him keep his memory card — even offering to delete the photos he took — but Bieber is unmoved.
Let’s play a fun little game: Take three of your friends and find some random person taking pictures in public. Confront him, forcibly take his camera, remove the memory card, give back the camera then walk away with a piece of his property still in your possession. First person to convince the police that wasn’t just a robbery wins. GO! (Extra points if you’re a minority and pull this off without death and/or injury.)
Photo: Getty / Video: TMZ.com
Because Hollywood isn’t completely out of ideas, here’s Kate Upton‘s breasts bouncing all over the set of The Other Women yesterday and next to Cameron Diaz‘s so they looked even more awesome and feminine. Sort of like how Tom Cruise wears lifts then makes everyone walk in a ditch next to him except without all the crying and twisted angles from jagged rocks. Slave labor just doesn’t dig ditches like it used to. Thanks, Obama.
Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News
- Joss Whedon won’t make The Avengers 2 without Robert Downey Jr. [Lainey Gossip]
- Sasquatch wants you to know Kris and Bruce Jenner live in separate houses just in case you weren’t sure their marriage is a sham. [Dlisted]
- Going back in time to stop bras from being invented: A worthy quest. [theCHIVE]
- Gisele Bundchen mocks Kim Kardashian with tasteful nudity. [tooFab]
- What Kind Of Guy Tells Women To Make Him A Sandwich? [BuzzFeed]
- Candice Swanepoel lingerie and bikini photos, anyone? [Popoholic]
- Carrie Underwood‘s legs were at the CMT Awards, too. [IDLYITW]
- Seren Gibson does indeed look fun. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Celebslam Presents: The Sexiest Social Media Pics of May [Celebslam]
- Terra Jo Wallace is a good model. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Don’t drop your kid to take a picture of Nicole Richie. Save that for someone people actually want to look at. [Amy Grindhouse]
- After Earth bombed because there wasn’t enough.. Shymalan? [FilmDrunk]
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Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, a feature that’s very existence has been validated today by Prince Charles this pic alone. (You’ll see it.) And of course, Prince Charles, duh. But there’s more good stuff in here, especially from last night’s CMT Awards, like a visibly terrified Nelly just now realizing he’s shown up to the worst possible red carpet and The Bacon Brothers hopefully receiving an award for their utter disgust with Dax Shepard. Then there’s Sean Bean the night before waking up and saying “I’ve made a huge mistake,” and Gerard Depardieu awkwardly distracted from this greeting by what he mistook as The World’s Largest Candy Apple.
“We couldn’t stop him,” town officials later explained to a distraught sculptor, infuriated over the loss of his life’s work, “He was like a ravenous bear. We lost two policemen,”
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Last week Will and Jaden Smith gave what had to be the most pretentious, high-on-their-own-farts interview of the year while promoting After Earth. Except here’s Jonah Hill who falls just a tad short of snatching the title, yet gives an impressive douchebag performance in Rolling Stone while promoting This Is The End. Keep in mind, the rest of the cast was asked the same questions to determine what it’d like to be holed up with them during the apocalypse, and all of them played along including James Franco who even showed up with a goddamn art book from Yale, yet still managed to come off as less self-important than Jonah Hill:
Excerpts From Jonah Hill’s Interview With Rolling Stone After The Jump