James Franco Tried To Bang A 17-Year-Old

April 3rd, 2014 // 72 Comments
James Franco Instagram

Below is a video of James Franco spotting 17-year-old Lucy from Scotland outside of Of Mice And Men Tuesday night and specifically telling her to “tag” him on Instagram when she puts it up because he’s just a cool, friendly Hollywood actor who loves his fans. Mostly in the vagina: More »

Megan Fox Had A Baby 7 Weeks Ago. 7 Weeks.

April 3rd, 2014 // 15 Comments

If you read yesterday’s Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s post, you probably think I’m part of the problem and perpetuate an unrealistic media image of how women should look post-pregnancy. Which couldn’t be farther from the truth. Look at how I’m posting these pics of Megan Fox on the set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles yesterday and highlighting how amazing her ass looks after just giving birth seven weeks ago thus inspiring other new moms to constantly think about why their ass doesn’t like that for weeks if not months on end. I’m helping.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, GEVA/AKM-GSI

Good Goddamn Morning, Hilary Duff, And Other News

April 3rd, 2014 // 17 Comments

- Tom Hiddleston‘s new Jaguar ad, anyone? [Lainey Gossip]

- Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had an open marriage. You think? [Dlisted]

- A World Without Redheads Is An Existence I Want No Part Of [theCHIVE]

- Seth Rogen really wants to bang Zac Efron. [Fishwrapper]

- Infographic: The Cum Rag Hierarchy because some of you bastards are using toilet paper. [The Frisky]

- What’s up, Lucy Watson in FHM? [Popoholic]

- Miley Cyrus‘ dog died, so naturally she milked it onstage. [tooFab]

- Kanye West doesn’t care about Australians. [IDLYITW]

- Michelle Lewin‘s ass is still awesome. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Selena Gomez is not doing well. [Celebslam]

- This assistant tell-all is totally about Judi Dench. It’s so obvious. [FilmDrunk]

- Kendall Jenner‘s ass whore powers are growing. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Xposure/AKM-GSI

Jennette McCurdy Got ‘Sam & Cat’ Cancelled

April 2nd, 2014 // 41 Comments
I Can't Imagine Why
Jennette McCurdy is nearly nude in these leaked lingerie photos
Jennette McCurdy Bails On Kids' Choice Awards Read More »

Before I begin, wasn’t there a thing not too long ago where everyone was geeking out over how old 14-year-olds were looking? When the hell did that slam into reverse? Because it seems like every 21-year-old looks goddamn 12. It’s like Chris Hansen is taunting me… testing me… Anyway, back to some Nickelodeon show that let’s letting me type the words leaked lingerie photos over and over again for Internet money. “Man-Cat,” I think it’s called. NY Daily News reports: More »

Joanna Krupa In A Bikini Gets Her Own Post

April 2nd, 2014 // 34 Comments

Considering I just burnt an entire post on an aborted Spider-Baby joke, the least I can do is post some new bikini pics, so here’s Joanna Krupa posing for a photo shoot in Miami yesterday which may or may not be an shameless ploy to get more dis how chicken look jokes out of you. So fine, once again, this is all about me. It’s always about me. You knew what this was.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

This ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2′ Tie-In Doesn’t Have Any Creepy Subtext At All

April 2nd, 2014 // 5 Comments
Spider-Baby Evian
WATCH: evian Spider-Man - The Amazing Baby & me 2

“So Spider-Man‘s swinging through the city, right? Lots of action, webs everywhere, but then he perches for a minute on the side of a building and checks himself out in a window. His reflection – wait for it – the baby he made Gwen Stacy abort… dressed like Spider-Man.”
“What the hell does that have anything to do with water?”
“It’s a baby dressed like Spider-Man.”
“Sold. But only if it dances. *presses intercom* Cheryl, could you bring in the cocaine cart?”

Lindsay Lohan Is Broke (Again)

April 2nd, 2014 // 35 Comments
That Explains This
Lindsay Lohan Terry Richardson
Just Kidding! Coke Explains It. It's Coke. Read More »

Back in July, Oprah paid Lindsay Lohan $2 million to appear on a reality show that accurately portrays her as the fuck up she is. So the fact that I’m writing this post almost nine months later instead of the very next day is a miracle in and of itself. I’m man enough to admit that. Page Six reports:

LiLo was not amused when her cards were declined at Rag & Bone on Mercer Street Sunday.
A source close to the troubled starlet — who is reportedly so broke that the production company behind her reality show on Oprah Winfrey’s OWN had to come through with checks for her rent and security deposit — told us, “Lindsay was trying to buy something for around $300 but her credit cards were declined. She looked really embarrassed and tried to negotiate before her friend finally stepped in and paid.”

Fortunately, Lindsay’s turned her life around and is a serious actress/producer with a new movie Inconceivable set to start shooting in March, so that takes care of- what’s that? It’s already April and nobody shot a goddamn thing? Suck the dicks! SUCK ALL THE DICKS BEFORE YOU GO BANKRUPT.

Photos: Getty