Isn’t Miley Cyrus Already A Porn Parody?

April 4th, 2014 // 32 Comments

You’d think a porn parody of Miley Cyrus would be redundant, but fortunately the fine folks in the adult film industry have yet to meet a product they couldn’t slap dicks and butts into which is why I’m patiently waiting for Backdoorgammon XXX and You Sunk My Battledick. Anyway, below is a crazy NSFW link to the trailer for Molly’s Wrecking Ball a porn parody of Miley Cyrus’ life starring Miley May who should probably never occupy the same space as as our universe’s Miley, or else the very fabric of existence will vagina diddle itself right the fuck out. I don’t know who brought her over, but I have a pretty good hunch.

Molly’s Wrecking Ball Trailer – (NSFW)

Photos: Twitter

Good Morning, Paige Butcher, And Other News

April 4th, 2014 // 11 Comments

- Anthony Mackie knows how to promote a movie. [Lainey Gossip]

- Katy Perry‘s little sister is the Ginger Devil. [Dlisted]

- In Life There’s Underboob And Then There’s Everything Else [theCHIVE]

- Farrah Abraham apparently believes she looks like Jessica Alba. [Fishwrapper]

- Kate Upton‘s fancy now. [Popoholic]

- ‘There’s Probably Semen On That’: 3 Days At The AVNs [FilmDrunk]

- Meeting Lady GaGa was on Bill Murray‘s bucket list. Stop respecting him now. [tooFab]

- Lauren Dally does FHM Turkey. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Want To “Save Marriage?” Stop Telling Woman What To Do [The Frisky]

- The rest of Miranda Kerr‘s topless GQ shoot. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photos: Splash News

Charlee Sheen’s Porn Star Fiancee Won’t Let Him Pay Denise Richards Child Support

April 3rd, 2014 // 35 Comments
This Should End Well
Denise Richards Bikini
Charlie Sheen Decided To Stop Paying Child Support Read More »

A few weeks back I posted about Charlie Sheen being two months behind on Denise Richard‘s child support because he just decided to stop paying it. Well, now he’s three months behind, and it turns out the reason why is because his porn star fiancee Brett Rossi is in charge of his finances now because it’s always a good idea to let someone who thinks directly disobeying ignoring a court order is smart money-management. I bet she uses Quicken. Radar reports: More »

Paula Deen Shut Down Uncle Bubba’s Seafood & Oyster House. Thanks, Obama

April 3rd, 2014 // 79 Comments
'I'm Just Like Michael Sam'
Paula Deen Food Network South Beach Wine And Food Festival
- Words Paula Deen Just Said Read More »

Now look what you Commie liberal faggots did. All because she said some sweet, kind, Southern genteel words about making colored folk dress up like beautiful plantation slaves like the glorious days of the south when it was legal to own them like property, poor Paula Deen closed her restaurant without the courtesy of notifying her predominantly black staff to the point where she acted like it would still be open next week. When are you going to stop destroying America? TMZ reports: More »

Hey, Look, Scarlett Johansson Made A Sequel To ‘Limitless’

April 3rd, 2014 // 15 Comments
Scarlett Johansson Lucy
WATCH: 'Lucy' - Official Trailer

Here’s the trailer for Lucy starring Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow a young woman who gets slut-shamed by the Japanese into becoming Black Widow a walking Matrix with boobs, or something. (I shot my load with the Limitless headline. You got me.)

Selena Gomez Is Banging Orlando Bloom

April 3rd, 2014 // 31 Comments
The Internet Just Broke
Miranda Kerr Nude GQ British
Miranda Kerr Wants To Bang Chicks Read More »

Considering Miranda Kerr cheated on Orlando Bloom with Justin Bieber, it seems only fair that he’d get to bang Selena Gomez, and so he is much to the dismay of #BBare. Via Hollywood Life:

Justin Bieber, 20, is furious over Selena Gomez, 21, allegedly flirting with Orlando Bloom. The Biebs is used to being “king of the hill” when it comes to his lady-love’s affections, so this latest interaction between Selena, and Orlando must be a huge slap in the face to the troubled pop bad-boy.
Selena and Orlando recently participated in the We Day California conference on March 26. The 21-year-old singer gave a moving speech and later, backstage, posed with Orlando and Seth Rogen — who has been one of Justin’s biggest haters.

When reached for comment King Murple Surple Joffery Bizzle Bare reportedly slammed down his grape soda and refused to answer any questions about, “no LEGO lists” before referring to himself as “a Mega Bloks mothafucka” who builds “castles in dem panties.” A spokesperson elaborated that he gets like this before a nap and suggested coming back at a later time with some juice boxes. Preferably Juicy Juice unless “you want to see what it’s like getting shot in the face while holding a 10-pack of Minute Maid.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Mariah Carey Reacted To Nick Cannon Banging Kim Kardashian In Most Mariah Carey Way Possible

April 3rd, 2014 // 35 Comments
Nick Cannon Is Black
Kim Kardashian Breasts Cleavage
Everything Checks Out Here Read More »

Last week, during a promotional interview for his new album “White People Party Music“, Nick Cannon rattled off the names of five celebrities he slept with including Kim Kardashian and his wife Mariah Carey who sent him into his next interview with specific instructions on what to say about that shit. Via Gossip Cop:

Stern said he heard Carey was upset about a previous chat where he opened up about Kardashian, and Cannon made a surprising admission in reply.
She doesn’t even know who Kim Kardashian is,” he said, adding, “She doesn’t pay attention to that.”

Like most of you, my first reaction was to think there’s no way in hell Mariah Carey doesn’t know who Kim Kardashian is. But then I thought of something that would actually make this completely possible: Kim Kardashian isn’t Mariah Carey. And neither is Nick Cannon, so it’s a goddamn miracle she even knows who he is which I’ll never believe she does and you can’t make me.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Splash News