Good Morning, Courtney Robertson Bikini Photos, And Other News

May 16th, 2013 // 11 Comments

- Tom Cruise showed up to the premiere of Star Trek Into Darkness to tell J.J. Abrams the true story about the events of Star Wars: Episode VII. “Not a lot of people know this but L. Ron Hubbard invented the Force…” [Lainey Gossip]

- Brooke Mueller doesn’t want to lose custody of the $55,000 Charlie Sheen pays her each month. [Dlisted]

- Chivettes Bored At Work [theCHIVE]

- James Franco has no fucking clue. [tooFab]

- 31 People Who Will Make You Not Want To Live On This Planet Anymore [BuzzFeed]

- Alice Eve… has looked better. [Popoholic]

- This really isn’t helping the Beyonce pregnancy rumors. [IDLYITW]

- The poor man’s Megan Fox is still cleavagey. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Keira Knightley in a bikini is unfortunate. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Tyler Perry is the Black Jesus of metaphors. [FilmDrunk]

Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter

Photos: Pacific Coast News

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 5.15.13

May 15th, 2013 // 401 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed which draws pretty heavily on the two big film premieres from last night. First, there was The Great Gatsby at Cannes, from which two Leonardo DiCaprio pics were chosen, because I don’t know how to not include this or this. Then it was apparently a fantastic ass-themed premiere for Star Trek Into Darkness, which LeVar Burton was totally down with. Aside from all that, there’s Reese & Jim‘s power lunch, Amber Rose just about back to her pre-baby disgustingly obese ass weight, and Governor Chris Christie explaining to Prince Harry how “Soon as construction’s complete, we’re gonna cover this whole area in hot fudge.”

Dolph Lundgren with a ponytail is the cherry on top,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INF Daily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Those Amy’s Baking Company Idiots Are Blaming Hackers Now

May 15th, 2013 // 78 Comments
WATCH: 'Kitchen Nightmares' - Amy's Baking Company
Look Who Made The News
Amy's Baking Company
This Goes Exactly As Well As You Expect Read More »

It was almost impossible to miss this train wreck yesterday, but after appearing on a disastrous episode of Kitchen Nightmares where Gordon Ramsay literally quit after watching the owners steal tips, resell desserts from other restaurants and threaten to call the police on customers who wanted the food they ordered, the Facebook page of Amy’s Baking Company in Scottsdale, Az. was bombarded with comments which the owners responded to in the worst way possible which is why you’re even reading about this. After becoming the laughing stock of the entire Internet, their Facebook posts have since been removed, but here are some of the highlights which will now live forever via Extra:

Amy’s Baking Company Facebook Posts After The Jump

Captain America Is Gonna Move Some Steroids

May 15th, 2013 // 31 Comments
More ScarJo In A Tank Top
Scarlett Johansson Captain America Winter Soldier Set
Christ, You People Are Demanding Read More »

A little over two weeks ago, Chris Evans looked like this while attending a GLAAD event with his gay brother Scott. And now here he is on the set of Captain America: The Winter Soldier yesterday looking fucking gigantic, so let’s keep pushing that message to the kids:

“Hey, Captain America, how’d you get those muscles?”
“Drugs!”

As for what’s happening in this scene, it’s clearly the part where Scarlett Johansson‘s Black Widow walks over to a Lamborghini in tight jeans and Cap goes, “So everyone knows I have super-strength and was frozen for 80 years just as I was about to lose my virginity, right? I feel like I should point that out for no particular reason. AHAHAHAHA!” (See? He’s laughing.)

Photos: Splash News

Kim Kardashian’s Afraid Kanye West Is Gay

May 15th, 2013 // 70 Comments
I Believe In God Now
Kanye West Walked Into A Pole Street Sign
Kanye West Walked Into A Pole Read More »

Kanye West looks like he’s at a funeral every time he has to walk into another paparazzi trap set up by Kim Kardashian, so clearly that means he’s a homosexual who fucks men in the anus, is what she’s starting to think now. InTouch Weekly via Gossip Cop:

According to the mag, Kardashian’s first Met Gala experience was a “nightmare” because “some online commenters” speculated that her boyfriend is “in a romantic relationship with the man who designed her controversial dress, Givenchy creative director Riccardo Tisci.”
A so-called “friend” tells the tab, “Kim freaked out. If it turns out Kanye is involved with Riccardo, she will be utterly embarrassed — more so than she’s ever been in her life.”
In Touch writes, “There are some facts Kim can’t deny,” noting, “Kanye has spent her entire pregnancy living close to Riccardo in the French capital… And Riccardo recently purchased an apartment less than half a mile from Kanye’s in NYC’s Soho neighborhood.”
“Kanye is obsessed with Riccardo,” reveals another supposed “insider” for the rag, who adds, “They have a very deep bond.”

When asked to explain how Kanye loved Kim’s sex tape so much he heterosexually inserted a baby into her, Kris Jenner assumed her true form as a seven-headed hydra and hissed out of each head, “YOU VISIBLY LOVE BEING WITH MY DAUGHTER OR YOU’RE QUEEEEER. QUEEEEER, I SAY. A DEVOURER OF COCKSSSSSSSssssss…” *cheats on Bruce Jenner with Godzilla*

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INF, Pacific Coast News

Farrah Abraham Is Getting A New Reality Show, According To Farrah Abraham

May 15th, 2013 // 49 Comments
There's A Baby In My Butt
Farrah Abraham Bikini Poolside Collection Photo Shoot
The Farrah Abraham Story Read More »

Because the narrative has to be that her plan worked, here’s Farrah Abraham telling Hollywood Life that she’s moving to LA now to pursue tons of reality show offers, you guys. And, of course, she’s bringing her daughter Sophia because she’s a super-important part of her life and not because if these talks are even true – which they’re not – they’re going to want to chronicle how absolutely little chance this kid has now. Haha! Who even thinks like that?

“I think for sure moving to Los Angeles is on the cards right now, because I’ve been here every week. Its better that Sophia and I are together more instead of separate because [the distance] is getting to be a lot.”
Farrah speaks wise words, and she said she will be including Sophia in her new reality show.
“There are a lot of meetings for a spin off show with me right now, so I just need to see what I like. I have had other leads in the past when I got out of my contract with MTV, but I haven’t found anything I agree with yet but when the time is right I’ll be OK with that.
“Sophia will of course be in it. My daughter is part of my life; she is going to be involved.”

In reality, Farrah’s only career move at this point is more porn and the word going around is she already fucked that up with her little pregnancy stunt because now no male porn stars want to work with her. Then again, that still leaves lesbian porn on the table which probably explains why she’s kissing Riley Jensen up top. I thought she was just sucking the soul out of another human like the time she killed Sophia’s father. Oh, I’m sorry, we’re all supposed to say “car crash.” He died in a “car crash.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News