Dina Lohan is ready to destroy another daughter

March 4th, 2008 // 129 Comments

Double the Lohan posts, double the fun. That’s what I, well, never say actually. In fact, I immediately regret saying it right now. Moving forward. Dina Lohan is set to premiere her new reality show this summer about her adventures cultivating young 14-year-old Ali’s career. People reports:

“The Lohans are one of the most intriguing families in the entertainment industry today,” Lisa Berger of E! said in a statement. “This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining.”

Dina Lohan is just your normal everyday mom. Now that’s touching. Touching all the way to the bank! High-five! No? Okay, you’re right, pimping out your kids to the Hollywood machine is pretty fucked up – Fucked up all the way to the bank! Ha! Up high! What? Not cool, either? Pssh. Who needs you guys.

UPDATE: Don’t go. I’ll be good. Good all the way to the- Whoa, wait, put down the brick! I bruise easily. Mostly from bricks.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. Janine

    I smell either a DUI, rehab, teen pregnancy, a big time coke habit, some major sluttin around and/or some nasty freckled nude photo shoots not too far in the future.

  2. Lurch

    I suddenly feel better about my posture

  3. MJ

    She has no boobs, than why does she stands like Mr Burns?!

  4. maggie

    WTF is she a hunchback?

  5. sicasso

    Spending so much time turning LiLo into a mega-super-sexy-star clearly left Dino-Dina without enough time to feed those kids.

    Someone throw that girl a cheeseburger, quick!

  6. absolute2

    Mmmm, just saw DIna’s profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.com” last week. It seems she is detroying another multi-millionaire’s peaceful family..

  7. loool

    lollllll 48

  8. JBO

    At 14 your not supposed to be filled out like a women….but you should look a little healthier than a science room skeleton. Oh and Mom how come only us kids have more freckles than all of Northern Ireland?

  9. yourmom

    rehab for eating disorder.

  10. LBot

    At the age of 14 she looks like a troll. It probably will not look any better growing up. She reminds me of Ashlee Simpson, another troll at first but the miracle of plastic surgery made her look better. I hope Dina gets that plastic surgeon’s number from Ashlee’s dad.

  11. KSo

    ali looks like smeagol from LOTR.

  12. tripchick

    Somebody give that poor girl a cookie and some freakin ice cream. Hell, a scoop of lard covered in chocolate sauce would probably be better.

  13. Mr. Beerhouse

    Someone needs to tell that damn kid to stand up straight!!! Horrid Posture!!! I dont know what kind of roles she is aiming to get lookin like that….maybe Zoey 101, at least she isnt knocked up……yet

  14. Matthew

    the parting mom is at it again

  15. RabidWorm

    14 not even on t.v. yet and already anorexic. Good job mom.

  16. Vwee

    #33 please wear a bra…if not your tits may sagg and then you would have to spend 8,000 on a boob job. Your step mom is a fucken idiot.

  17. Jen

    Maybe she’ll use the money to buy Ali some food. Starving your 14 year old is probably not the best approach. That kid is way underweight.

  18. Beastman AIDS

    Looks like someone held a fly net over skeletor and took a shit through it.

  19. dontknow

    Does the poor girl have scoliosis or is she just bent over from all the beatings?

  20. Paige

    edamame – how much crack are you on?? She looks like Angie fucking Harmon??? No, I’m sorry, I agree much more with the person who compared her to Gollum. And you said she is “slouching to hide new boobs”??? What the fuck??!! Did you LOOK at the picture? The girl looks like she is about to DROP DEAD OF STARVATION. I don’t think she has any boobs to hide, retard. Go blaze up another one!! Jesus Christ, how stupid are some people??!!

  21. Someone PLEASE tell her to stand up straight? Maybe she can borrow a pole from Lindsay?

  22. #39 loll! and #48 – does she look likes she swallows? DUH! She might actually benefit from the nutrients if she did. Lets give her a few years though. Can’t having her show up the big sis!

  23. herbiefrog

    ok just for the record…

    children owe their parents nothing

    parents owe their children everything including their life if nescessary

    dina, stop pimping your family and take responsibility
    for your own needs

    want drugs? go get some
    want sex… hire a toy boy
    want fame? do something yourself

    stop *using* your children

  24. SimplySarah

    She’s evil looking like the youngest Willis girl.

  25. I am crazy about her,maybe I feel attached to her.I love her perfect perform.I saw she is dating in millonaire dating site” wealthyloving.com”.I am wondering what kind of relation she is looking for in this site?

  26. yg

    does she have a back problem

  27. yg

    does she have a back problem

  28. Heather

    i wish people would just leave them alone already. I think she is doing a damn good job with Ali. She is so talented, I say go for it Ali!

  29. Some guy

    i’d do her…

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