Dina Lohan is ready to destroy another daughter

March 4th, 2008 // 129 Comments

Double the Lohan posts, double the fun. That’s what I, well, never say actually. In fact, I immediately regret saying it right now. Moving forward. Dina Lohan is set to premiere her new reality show this summer about her adventures cultivating young 14-year-old Ali’s career. People reports:

“The Lohans are one of the most intriguing families in the entertainment industry today,” Lisa Berger of E! said in a statement. “This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining.”

Dina Lohan is just your normal everyday mom. Now that’s touching. Touching all the way to the bank! High-five! No? Okay, you’re right, pimping out your kids to the Hollywood machine is pretty fucked up – Fucked up all the way to the bank! Ha! Up high! What? Not cool, either? Pssh. Who needs you guys.

UPDATE: Don’t go. I’ll be good. Good all the way to the- Whoa, wait, put down the brick! I bruise easily. Mostly from bricks.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. Ali looks like she has low self-esteem and is very eager to please.

    Dear Diary: jackpot.

  2. fergernauster

    *Yawn* I’m getting bored.

    Ashley Tisdale’s “New & Improved” schnoz licks the biggie.

    I mean… does she actually think she looks better now? Girl is homely as all hell, and a more streamlined honker does not change that.

    WORST… NOSEJOB… EVER… (besides Michael Jackson’s hack-job)

  3. Hecubus

    Where’s the daughter ? Behind that homeless guy ?

  4. RCA

    What da deal? Does this kid have Scoliosis or Giraffe neck??

  5. grobpilot

    Nice fucking posture on that kid.

  6. grobpilot

    Porn for her, gay porn for him. Mother Of The Fucking Century.

  7. Fat Tabby

    Is she really a natural brunette with that coloring and freckles?? Or is this broad letting her 14 year old dye her hair black?

  8. Sara

    She seriously needs to work on her posture before she starts looking like the bossu de notre-dame.

  9. Auntie Kryst

    The real star of this program isn’t the girl. It’s Dina, her child is merely a prop. The show is about how this struggling single mom struggles to raise a struggling young actress. E! and Dina are booked on the same train to hell.

  10. shanipie


    THANK YOU!!!

    Rumor Willis is the most akward grotesque pieces of priviledged shit on the planet. I do not know her but I cannot stand her anyways. Look at her, she thinks she is sexy. She thinks she has talent. As if just because your mother and father are famous means you look good and deserve attention. Stupid C*nt

  11. Micky Mc

    Maybe with the money from the show – they can buy a back-brace for Quasi-modo.

  12. spindoc

    The Lohans can roll with the punches and come out on top?!?!?!?!?!? How exactly have they come out on tom? The father ended up in Jail, Lindsay’s career is over, etc….

    And most importantly, it is my opinion that Dina Lohan has no upper lip and draws one on using lip liner and lipstick. Take a close look, you’ll see I’m right.

  13. moobs

    words can no longer express the disgust i feel at this cultural phenomenon of making “nobodies” into “the most interesting people society can seem to offer”

    no longer do you need some sort of “talent” to succeed, now all you need to do is be related to another famous no talent clown in order to be famous for being… wait for it, talented?

    chances are, if i don’t like your more famous sibling, i could really give a fuk less about you either.

  14. Bobert McNasty

    google ali lohan bikini and theres some pics of her sporting a barely there bikini at lilo’s party when she got out of rehab/prison

  15. DAY-UM




  16. rub rub rub rub one out

    “theres some pics of her sporting a barely there bikini”

    I know those pictures very well…

    rub rub rub rub one out

  17. Grunion

    Nice boots on Eric Stoltz in the first picture.

  18. fuck you

    Really! who wants to look at this hoe and her humped back daughter
    Cruel i know but true

  19. fuck you

    Really! who wants to look at this hoe and her humped back daughter
    Cruel i know but true

  20. Emmyem

    Numbers 40 and 60. YES! Oh that Rumer Willis! I’ll bet she is SO pissed that her plastic surgery enhanced Mom is prettier than she is, and Rumer is 19 and Demi is 45!
    I saw photos of Demi when she was a teen, I swear to God……she had crossed eyes, HORRIBLE glasses, a different face shape, and NO boobs.
    So Rumer, there’s help if you want your JAW SHEARED OFF. Which CAN be done. Honest!

  21. no1justminda

    Nice hunch, kiddo.

  22. boo

    She looks like a young Ali McGraw with freakishly long arms.

  23. Mike

    From the looks of Ali, she’s picked up LH’s wonderful eating habits. Dina is SOO loving vicariously through her daugheters. What an f’ing pimp.

  24. Lil'Ms.Mouthy

    Is it me or is Ali a hunchback? Why is she leaning like that? IS she broken?
    I have no clue what is wrong with her but it loks like she’s all scrunched up?

    Lemme guess.. Mama Lohan scrunches Al-Lo in a suitcasr to save on airfair?

  25. BunnyButt

    That’s the most raggedy 14 year old I’ve ever seen…

  26. sla

    There is something about this girl that bugs me. Part of it is her posture — like her head is too heavy to hold up.

    But I think it’s that she looks like a copy of a copy of a copy, like there is something that might have been cute but just got too muddled along the way.

    And she looks like she is 40.

    Maybe the chin?

  27. KickRocks

    is the show going to cover why Ali is a disgusting hunchback?

  28. fatso

    this is a shame. anyone notice her emaciated arms? looks like she already has an eating disorder–or a coke problem. way to go dina!

  29. pee pants

    Hey Dina,

    Have I told you how much I hate you today. Oh yes I have. Well the thing with hate is you can never express it often enough. What if god forbid something happens to that person youh ate and you just didn’t get to tell them I HATE YOU one last time. That kind of thing happens too often and it’s just tragic. So Dina I will never let you go a day without letting you know I FUCKING HATE YOU. Oh wait I probably will, I’ll probably get right back to my life and forget your horrid bitch ass until another one of your nasty cougar slut pictures pops up to make me vomit in my mouth and turn red with hate. So I guess what I’m saying is, if I forget to tell you how much I hate you it’s because I hate you SO much that you aren’t important enough for me to hate. Can you understand something so complex? Probably not and that’s just another one of millions and billions of reason I HATE you.

    I HATE you forever,


  30. Auntie Kryst

    @75 BB, it’s part of her method acting training. She’s learning what it’s like to be hungry. Dina is preparing her for adulthood when she learns her money has all been stolen by her parent.

    I guess I have to respect Dina’s commitment to the acting craft. She’s a good coach.

  31. granada

    What bothers me about Ali Lohan, besides her terrible posture, is her smile. She seems to smile downward…as if her mouth does not have the ability to point up. And her teeth have absolutely no gaps between each one…its like someone glued a piece of Styrofoam to her mouth.

  32. akldyief

    this pic looks familiar.seems you ever posted your profile on a celebrity
    and millionaire dating site called “SearchingM illionaire. com”. I saw your profile there few weeks ago.

  33. Great women. There is a blog created by her fans on a Herpes dating site “” positiveloving.com” . It was said that she helped many HIV singles on this site.

  34. Daniel

    That little girl must be so excited, in the wake of lindsay’s success all these years Dina forgot that she had another child, and also apparently forgot to feed it every once in awhile… Cocaine Puffs are next up sweetie, so pack on at least a few pounds for the punch.

  35. La Frascatana

    I still can’t figure out why Dina doesn’t try to pimp out Cody. I hate kids, HATE THEM, but that kid is downright adorable.

    I thought Lindsay was probably the un-cutest kid possible, she was like this slitty-eyed gremlin, but somehow at age 16 or so she transformed into this moon-faced, exquisite beauty. So maybe there’s still hope for Ali. That’s a big maybe.

  36. woohoo

    Dude, Ali, eat a jug of mayonnaise already.

  37. dude_on_a_wire

    Cultivating a career? Help me out here… does she come equipped with a screen play about a female Quasimodo with an eating disorder?

    Someone just throw her a sandwich and let’s start from there. Maybe in a couple of years she might have enough strength to pursue a GED.

  38. GTFPDQ

    Can the monkey stand up straight? Oh sorry thats Ali……. oooh poor thing

  39. WTF

    That’s not a fourteen year old girl, that’s a scrounge. Fourteen year old girls never looked this sickly when I was in Junior High.

  40. herbiefrog

    just in case you didnt receive all of that…

    she can be who she wants

    leave her alone and

    maybe just try to be who you want

    without fucking everyone else up?

    hot mama ? wanna try ?

  41. #17, you launched a coughing fit with that one – then, just when I recovered I looked at your name and I was gone again. Like the way your mind works.

  42. nana

    okay, the spam from herpeslove is hilarious, i can’t help but laugh at that shit.

    and i have no words for dina lohan. no words.

  43. adam

    Fire crotch and quasimoto . . now that’s one hot sista sammich

  44. Connected

    Its amazing, simply amazing, that the Lohans that have just about the ugliest skin imaginable, have anyone at all that even wants to look at them. Millions of freckles with hundreds of moles mixed in. VOMIT.

  45. lisa

    Girls who like him be attention. I have seen his photo on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named ” wealthydater. com”. Seems he is a certified millionaire there.

  46. Spartacus

    I’m always surprised how old and haggard Dina looks for her age. The kids are all pretty much guaranteed to be living in cardboard in 10 years.

  47. rufus

    Girls are hot. I saw one of them have a profile on the celebrities and

    millionaires dating site myrichmatch.com last week. It’s said she is

    interested in dating wealthy young guys on that site!

  48. Jas

    Oh dear, that poor girl is starving to death, she can’t even stand straight.

    Seriously, what kind of a mother is Dina Lohan? (Obviously, not the responsible kind…)

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