Dina Lohan Says She’s Not Drunk On ‘Dr. Phil,’ Michael Lohan Says ‘The F-ck You Weren’t’

September 14th, 2012 // 70 Comments
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In case you missed it yesterday, above is the Dr. Phil promo where Dina Lohan is so visibly drunk that only someone like Dina Lohan would even think of saying she wasn’t and blame the editing which is, of course, exactly what Dina Lohan did which, of course, led to Michael Lohan finding a TMZ camera to shove his face into and saying she was:

Michael actually participated in the Dr. Phil interview — which was taped a few months ago — and says it was obvious at the time, Dina was intoxicated … and it was only 10 AM.
“I think when everyone sees the interview, they’re gonna know she’s not sober,” Lohan tells us.

Here’s where it gets messy: On one hand, Dina Lohan says she wasn’t drunk, so immediately you know she was. But then on the other, Michael Lohan says she was which immediately means she wasn’t. Granted, my own eyes tell me she’s completely sloshed in the video, but how do I know these two didn’t create a paradox that tore a hole in the very fabric of reality sending us all into an alternate tangent where everything is backwards and even worse, women are allowed to drive? *sees Amanda Bynes post* Oh, no…

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. it had to be said

    Phil has to feel great about interviewing drunk celebrity pimp moms. I mean, isn’t this why people go into the mental health field?

    What a dickhead.

  2. Fuck you Dina Lohan, for making Dr. Phil look like a legitimate journalist.

  3. Cleveland Girl

    If she wasn’t drunk, then she was completely hung over from the night before. She makes Lindsay look normal!

  4. disillusionisreal

    Of course she’s whacked out of her skull….look how glossy her eyes are…..

  5. fuckityfuck

    “Can I Go Home Now?”
    Yes Dina you can go home, while you’re at it don’t forget the bottle of aspirin chaser to compliment your vodka.

  6. Cock Dr

    It’s ok if your buzz comes out a prescription pill bottle. The doctor said so.
    Go ahead and take more pills and give some to your lovely daughters. I hear that if you wash ‘em down with lots of scotch the high is the best ever.

  7. The result of their combined work: Photo taken last night at the Lady Gaga crapfest that Lohan left the set early to get to:


    Mom, Dad, you have so much to be proud of. Your little girl is so Mature now – why she’s only 26 and looks a well ridden 50.

  8. Annie

    Michael is a douchebag but he has always claimed Dina is a drunk. Now we see it’s true.
    I used to feel bad for Lindsay. With parents like that you just don’t stand a chance. But there’s a certain age when you have to stop blaming your parents.

    Yesterday she was posting all her ~luxurious items she owns like goddamn Tila Tequila tweeting everytime she got into a plane. Like, document that shit, it rarely happens. Classless, New Money.

    • It takes someone special to allow Michael Lohan to appear as the voice of reason. It is almost Art.

      But I’m not sure which of the two people on that screen is worse: the blithering trainwreck, or the bald guy offering the tours.

  9. Confusus

    This is what Lindsay will look like in two years.

  10. Matty

    By not watching this video, I’m creating a reality where she’s both drunk and not drunk at the same time. A Schrödinger’s slut scenario if you will.

    • Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

      Nice. And you can bet your last dollar the atoms in her head are spinning at rates that defy orthodox physics.

  11. Stuart Goldbloom

    She claims “those people are trying to make me look like a drunk”
    this bitch and her narcissistic daughter don’t need any help looking drunk or bad , they seem to be able to perform quite adequately in this endeavor all on their own steam

  12. JK

    Someone has to say it, as awful as this woman is, anyone going before Dr Phil would have to be drunk to stand it.

  13. Billy Rubin

    You people cannot understand the inherent majesty of the Lohans .
    They are like royalty , neither judge them or analyze them , simply adore them for their greatness … and drunkeness , thievery , taking coke for blowjobness, and running over baby carriageness, along with showing up late on setness

  14. Mike Hunt

    Nothing , even a tie and shoes , is little on DR. Phil

  15. celebutard

    The White Russian Oprah

  16. I think if we assume she is stoned as opposed to drunk, Fish’s existential dilemma is solved.

  17. Inmate 12236969

    If it was last call I’d take to the backseat of my car and fuck her or at least get a blowjob—I have no standards at 2 A.M.

  18. Archie Leach

    lindsay crackhan.

    dina lohan.

    michael lohan.

    You just can’t make this shit up!

  19. shemp

    When Dr. Phil says she’s been called “the worst mother in America…the worst parent ever”, does she say “That’s so mean” or “That’s so ME”…? I honestly can’t tell…

  20. Ben

    No wonder Lindsay is the way she is.

  21. lee Mel

    LOLOL…TOTALLY drunk, but makes for a great show! Dr.phil is making money off her episode, he isnt one to talk. but this is gonna be funny.

  22. flaT

    She’s a fucking mess – explains a lot.

  23. Turd Ferguson

    I’m struggling as I watch this, listen to Michael, and try to comprehend just how Lindsey went wrong?

  24. Clarence Beeks

    I wouldn’t believe Dina Lohan if she told me the Earth is round, grass is green, and the sky is blue.

  25. anonym

    she is exactly like Lindsay, or Lindsay learned everything from her.

    what a fucking dumbass.

    Up for the fucked-up mother of the year award are Kris Jenner vs Dina Lohan.

    best fuckin role models in America!

  26. “Drunk?! I was NOT drunk. I had only had a few breakfast martini’s that morning. I may have had some extacy, two blunts, some crushed up oxycontin, the semen of a random longshoreman, and a half a bottle of some kind of cat medication in me, but I assure you sir, I was not drunk.”

  27. your mom

    Man i can’t stand Phil, like i really, really dislike him and i hate the fact that tons of people watch his b.s show and think he’s legit.

    • Logocal

      You need to get over your dislike of Dr. Phil. He’s not the issue here. Her Majesty Mrs. Lohan is the show. Unless he actually scripted what she said, and she was an Oscar-caliber actress capable of pulling off a drunkard to the T, then Dr Phil had nothing to do with the disgrace she made of herself.on national TV.

  28. Mama Pinkus

    I seriously believe that Lindsay’s only chance of recovery will start with her completely severing all ties with her fucked up, fame whore parents.

    • She got close on one of her rehab trips (UCLA?), but Dina slithered her way back in.

      • Jane

        …..i’m surprised she didn’t bring a cameraman into the rehab to sneak pics of lindsey while she was going through withdrawals. Some people just shouldn’t have kids…..

  29. Amanda Bynes needs to do us all a favour and take her out on her way home tonight.

  30. What a CLUSTERFUCK!!! You have the drunk, psychotic and bullshitting mother (with the IQ of rancid butter) of an arrogant, self-entitled, FUBAR “celebrity” (who wouldn’t know the truth if she was blowing it) being interviewed by a TV “doctor” who couldn’t properly diagnose or treat a nose bleed. Meanwhile, the celebrity’s dad (the most dishonest, biggest fuckup of the millenium — throwing in his two cents (on a stolen credit card, I’ll wager)…

    That’s the signpost up ahead—your next stop, the Twilight Zone.

  31. Salad Face

    This is the new “Cats always land on their feet, buttered toast side down” argument that will baffle historians for years to come.

  32. Oxy addicts always lead with: ” I wasn’t drunk.”

  33. Alison

    Why does Lindsey have such a swollen and fat face now?

    • LayLow

      Decreased liver function will lead to excessive bloating, among other symptoms. Would be curious to know what her organs actually look like under that bloaty/freckled shell.

  34. What an idiot

    Why is Dr. Phil interviewing Deny lohan at all? She’s not an actress or anything creative; she’s just related to a Z list celebu-retard. Why does she merit ANY interview to begin with?

  35. Neil MacCauley

    “gimee a fucking drink you little tie little shoe guy- are you a big leprechaun? you look like a big leprechaun to me…. Oh you’re one of those people , those leprechaun people , that don’t give drinks to beautiful maidens like me , you big tie leprechaun you “

  36. This hag should be fed to the poor.

  37. who gives a f*ck

    Wasn’t there a story about her being finger-banged in a restaraunt awhile back? I think it’s safe to assume she is in-fact shit faced. Or her face looks like shit. Either way, what a waste of skin

  38. Qwispi

    I can hardly wait ’til Monday. DVR set – check!

  39. DKW

    It’s her birthday today. She is 50. Maybe she’ll go out and have fun and someone will take pictures!

  40. Martina

    For the first time, I actually feel sorry for Lindsay

  41. Prince Star-Butt


  42. Betty W.

    ugly, ugly noses bwaahhaha

  43. Stoner

    Just because she was drunk doesn’t mean she was a bad Mom.

    • Jane

      No she wasn’t a bad mom…..in fact she’s not a mom at all. She’s a pimp and her kids (esp. lilo) are her mealtickets.

  44. Jaariel

    Lindsey should try Dinas beauty regimen. She’s looking much better than her daughter these days.

  45. D-chi

    She’s like Schrödinger’s Drunk. It’s all a very mysterious science.

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