The Paparazzi Made Dina Lohan Drive Drunk
Dina Lohan was arrested for DUI back in September, and in that time she’s managed to hire Lindsay’s old moron lawyer Mark Heller who’s now using his moron skills to blame the paparazzi for Dina’s DUI. And, no, not for chasing her or causing a life-threatening situation, but just for existing in general which is the sole purpose for why she drinks and not, oh I dunno, let’s say alcoholism. TMZ reports:
Here’s the argument … Dina’s lifestyle presents lots of challenges and stress, brought on by the barrage of photogs that follow her. Those stresses caused Dina to down enough alcohol to register a .20 blood alcohol level as she tooled down the road. Short story — it’s our fault, not hers.
You may remember Heller. He was literally run out of L.A. after getting fired in the Lindsay Lohan shoplifting case.
In related news, Mark Heller has agreed to take my case and will now sue “all the women” for withholding sexual intercourse causing me to drink heavily and drive haphazardly through elementary schools. There were children in there! How could you?! *runs away crying*