Dina Lohan Finally Got A DUI

September 13th, 2013 // 57 Comments
Of Course She Did
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After finally getting around to letting Seaside Heights feel His wrath for Jersey Shore, God also took the time last night to make sure Dina Lohan was yanked off the road which He admits went on way too long. “Honestly, I thought a tree would’ve stepped in here by now, but they’ve always been lazy, barked bastards, so chop down as many as you like. Fuck ‘em.” TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan’s 50-year-old mother was pulled over on the Northern State Parkway by New York State Police around 11 pm Thursday night … after she was allegedly going 77mph in a 55 in her white BMW.
During the stop, cops say she appeared intoxicated — and tested her blood alcohol level, which registered at .20 — more than twice the legal limit of .08.
According to officials, “Lohan made an allegation that she was injured during the course of the arrest” … but when medical personnel responded to the scene and determined she was fine, Dina “recanted her claim.”
Lohan was hauled to a nearby station where she was booked on two counts of driving while intoxicated and one count of speeding.

Why do I get the feeling this was Dina’s injury?

“Alright, ma’am, hand over the McDonald’s cup.” *sniffs* “Christ, what is that? Gin?” *empties out on road*
“Nooo! Police brutality! POLICE BRUTALITY!”

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. malaka

    totally thought that was lindsay

  2. elephantman

    Fuckin SWEET!

  3. logan

    Thank you Friday the 13th. Couldn’t talk her way out of the situation? Back to charm school for her. Wonder she didn’t offer up one of her daughters as a way out.

  4. Does this warrant the death penalty in that jurisdiction? Just thinking ahead here.

  5. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Mommy needs funds for her legal team. Get busy on that ASAP.

  6. cc

    She banged her forehead on the policeman’s belt buckle in a desperate bid to get out of the ticket.

  7. damn…being a shitty mother really ages a woman.

    • Hugh Jass

      Not bad looking for a 50 year old drunk who was smacked around by her ex.

      • I Miss Fish's Zimmerman Posts!

        She’s a smoker too. It’s kind of hard call.
        With all of her “habits” she’s fared pretty well. However, you have to consider all of the spa treatments Lindsay paid for her mom. When you consider that-meh, she not lookin’ too good.

  8. Inner Retard

    - Hey, copper! You know who I am?! I’m Lindsay Lohan’s mother!… BITCH!… *falls to ground before realizing she was tasered… by her own lawyer*

  9. Hugh Jass

    No “oops” shot of her getting out of the car? Where are the paps when you really need them.

  10. no way that’s her first DUI.

  11. Nipolian

    Why aren’t the NJ cops out busting the real criminals? It’s not like NJ has such a low crime rate that the cops don’t have better things to do than harass famous people just for the glory of it. Famous people entertain us and should be given a little bit of slack when it comes to these minor infractions of the law. Free Dina!

  12. KWDragon

    Let this be a lesson kids: don’t drink, drive and wear pancake makeup. It plays hell with your mugshot.

  13. Margaret

    The Injured Card. What. A skank. Pseudo privileged delusional alcoholic, never-was, lunatic, failure, creep. What a piece of shit. When is she posing nude for Old Lady magazine?

  14. The next day, New York State police went fishing in a barrel with a 12-gauge Mossberg.

  15. I’m sure her Ex is out kicking vaginas in celebration

  16. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a crack pipe burn left of her lips?

  17. “she was injured during the course of the arrest” Yeah, I bet it was the same cop who arrested Amanda Bynes, that guy has a crazy obsession with vaginas slapping xD

  18. EricLR

    So basically the cop got the full-on Jersey skank treatment, huh? “Youz hurt me, you motherfucka! Iz gonna getz my lawyer and SUE YOUR AZZ!”

  19. Bri

    Looks like she’s taking after her mother Lindsay! Looks just like her, too.

  20. I Miss Fish's Zimmerman Posts!

    of all the things she blew her kids’ money on, it’s good to know that botox wasn’t one of them.

  21. Say what you want about Dina, but she is so hot. She has the tightest @@s I have ever plowed and dumped in. She is soooooo hot.


  23. logan

    Now someone doesn’t like any of our comments. Come on now, it Freakin Fantastic Friday . Don’t be such a downer. So the lady got one freakin DUI and we are all havin a little fun with it. No time to get your panties in a bunch. Just join in the fun with us. We have been waiting a long time for this. And I am sorry the using the term “lady” so loosely.

  24. So Dina makes the equivalent of a false 911 call admits it—all while under arrest, which makes the whole thing admissible (“ … anything you say can and will be used against you …”)? I can see where Lindsay gets her courtroom tactical skills from.

  25. o0

    You know Dina has blown a few cops in her day to get off DUIs and maybe some drug charges. Family of the Year award every year.

  26. “Ma’am, the breathalyzer isn’t in my crotch.”

  27. I like the way Dina has picked thumbs down on all the comments.

  28. eh

    Why do the news reports about DUIs always point out when somebody is twice or over twice the legal limit? Is there something that happens when you’re two times drunk, like everything you do is twice as funny, or twice as dangerous, or both (would that be cubed?) It’s like everything being either the size of Texas or Rhode Island or multiples thereof.

  29. Nibbles

    Can’t believe Mickey Rourke grew his hair out, he looks terrible…

  30. anon

    Most New York State Troopers are really just Nazis wearing a different uniform. Even if she wasn’t drunk, at 20mph over the limit they generally will arrest & process you in before issuing you a several hundred dollar ticket. With a first offence Dina is probably looking at a $800 fine and 4 points. Dispite all the tough talk about safety, in most jurisdictions traffic enforcment is more about revenue generation than public safety.

  31. like mama like daughter

    • Guest

      But only 1 daughter is that way. There’s another daughter and she’s never doing anything crazy. Ali hasn’t jumped on the crazy train. I don’t care about her face and skinny body, she hasn’t jumped on the crazy train and done anything and she’s almost 20.

  32. She is one hell of a fucking sexy lady when she is drunk.

  33. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies, is that a herpes sore on her right cheek there? Or just a malignant mole?

  34. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    Im not gonna lie, I’d still hit it…with the risk of VD and all…theres something about her, it’s the slut appeal. Almost like Miley Cyrus, she’s far from physically attractive but those whory sad eyes and the fact that shes sexually exploring the world right now is all i need lol

  35. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the way to cougar town?

  36. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so sloppy she makes Kate Upton look tailored and graceful by comparison.

  37. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you my father’s girlfriend?

  38. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s rocking the classy bag lady look.

  39. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    meshuggah Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom, is this way to the guy I’m going to blow for coke?”

  40. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Would it be easier to compile a list of famous dudes she didn’t fuck?

  41. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    You have a little bit of bullshit on your face.

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