Dina Lohan Claims To Be a ‘Mother’

January 3rd, 2011 // 41 Comments

Apparently Dina Lohan, Queen of the Harpy Enablers, is back in the picture because not only did she pick Lindsay up from rehab today, she’s been allowed to issue statements which is the closest thing she has to sex now after the alcohol took her ability to be penetrated. Popeater reports:

“I thank everyone for their support, but I ask as a mother that she be given the time and space she needs.”
… A source tells me that Lindsay was picked up by her mom and that her father, Michael, was not involved in her big exit. I’m told that after she’s out, Lindsay will not be going to a safe house and that she’ll likely be staying in Los Angeles for a while with her mom.”

I’m pretty sure if Lindsay Lohan is the final product, you’re not allowed to make sweeping requests “as a mother.” In fact, I’m pretty sure that excludes you from anything that doesn’t involve drinking yourself to death and praying to God no one finds out you lost a child that time Chili’s had 99 cent margaritas. How were you to supposed know he wasn’t in your purse? That’s where babies belong!

Photos: WireImage


  1. Correction – she’s going to a stash house, not a safe house.

  2. A: Are you connected to the Lohan Family?
    B: Yes, how do you know that?
    A: Because you are a walking self tanning accident!

  3. tally

    2 lindsay lohan story 1 hour within each posts and right after you deleted my comment about why you prey on the vulnerable and not basketball stars. i feel great knowing that i influenced this post.

    • lightdragon

      tally you give good reason why Fish deleted your post. smart move for him to not do this one. As he was doing you a favor.

  4. Gando

    Oh, is it that. Now i know.

  5. Franksinatrastein

    I believe she said “Mutha…”

  6. Michelle

    two words – WHO CARES?!

  7. jumpin_j

    “I ask as a mother that she be given the time and space she needs.” – For the love of God, Dina, please take all the time you need. How about twenty years?

  8. Rhialto

    Why are they always wearing something in blue, pulease, c’mon.

  9. LJ

    Oh well, I had some small hope that this whole Betty Ford thing would in some way help Lindsay make a go of it.

    Now that Dina has picked her up from rehab, the woman can do her anti-rehab work on Lindsay, and so enable her to return to the life of drink and drugs that the judge took away from her.

    I expect to see Lindsay snorting coke off the sidewalk by July and Dina will blame it all on the Paparazzi.

  10. fish merkin

    Lindsay should get a Dr. to look at that lipless growth on her right shoulder. I’m pretty sure it is cancerous.

  11. GravyLeg

    Wow… Lindsay’s eyes almost look like she has a soul in that picture…

  12. GeorgeWBush

    Love pics 2 & 5 where it shows Dina competing to get her mug in the pics….LOL, most parents would be covering their faces in same when they pick up their kids from rehab.

  13. Nerd

    Wow…hard to believe this skunk is 24 fucking years old. She easily looks 35.

  14. reality

    Would still love to blow a load on her titties.

  15. Dina Lohan Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    en do u like the dress?

  16. Dina Lohan Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    I like to wear black clothes this woman, you know who she is?

  17. lightdragon

    I would love to have a threesome with Lindsay and her mom. both look like sisters in their 40′s.

  18. electricgirl

    they are both useless. dina should have swallowed her when she had the chance.

  19. lightdragon

    I’m into threesomes with 40 something women. Dina and her sister Lindsay are a good example.

  20. Dina Lohan Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Now lindsay dear, i hear doing all that blow made you forget how to do hand jobs. let me show you.

  21. wim

    …….she didn’t have one?

  22. No joke, this bitch needs an education. Someone needs to take Lindsey away from her enabling fame whore mother and get her ass to school. When Lindsey is not in rehab or “acting” she is doing some other random thing that she sees as “deep”, like when she went to India to ‘save’ children sold into sex slavery in India (I am remembering this correctly?). Having humanitarian interests is not a BAD thing, except with someone so clearly uneducated it just becomes this convoluted joke of a thing. I think she should stay out of the spot light and find something more meaningful to do with her life.

  23. nonminti

    usually after serious problems some suggest to rely on family,but not this time, or you go to rehab sooner rather than later(again)!

  24. atotalcad

    If Diana wants Linds to have “some space” then she shouldn’t publicize her every move.

  25. This just in from Mirriam-Webster. For 2011, the word “mother” is having its definition changed to “a person who receives support, advantage, or the like, from another or others without giving any useful or proper return, as one who lives on the hospitality of others.” Pretty much the opposite of what it meant up until now.

    Conversely, “parasite” now means “a female parent”. Happy Parasite’s Day, mom!

  26. Matthew

    Go Away Party Mom!

  27. You know what I wanna know? How much money has Lohan made in her life from such epic movies as “Herbie the Love Bug” and “Mean Girls” because she spends a hellova lot of it on drugs, police fines, clothes, rehab, and her mother and father???? Fack when is the well going to run dry already???

    Her mom is an enabling, amoral, socially void leech and should be shot or burned at the stake for being a Witch.

  28. Troll

    Usually I think however annoying Hohan is, she’s still undeniably photogenic. In this picture though, she looks like the typical ginger kid. Wth.

  29. suzie

    Lindsay actually looks kind if pretty between those two burn victims. Nothing against burn victims.

  30. Dina Lohan Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, Dina is still kinda hot. I’d fuck her! Let”’s get it straitght, even if she weren”t currentyly available I’d stiill bang her. No offense Lindsay

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