Dina Lohan Gave Advice To Amanda Bynes’ Parents. Oh, Good.

September 27th, 2012 // 16 Comments
'I Wasn't Drunk!'
Dina Lohan Dr. Phil
They Made Me Talk And Smell Like That With Editing Read More »

“I will run over you with my car if you don’t eat your vegetables! See? Just like that. Worked with all my kids.”

Oh, hey, didn’t see you come in. I was just outside shooting wooden spoons with an AR-15 while wearing heels. You know, the ush. Anyway, while I freshen up, why don’t you take a look at this report about another mom to viciously insult which has absolutely nothing to do with all that stuff I just said a few sentences ago. In fact, if you’re my therapist, you should probably just forget you read any of that, and I dunno, maybe tell the state it’s okay for me to go on planes again. Haha! I’m joking, I’m joking. But maybe think about it. ET Online reports:

Asked for general advice for [Amanda Bynes'] parents since she’s been through similar situations, Dina replies, “Just be around. … It’s hard when your daughter’s not, you know, over 18, and you want to let them go … and they want to, you know, feel like they’re in control of themselves. So it’s a very strategic place for a parent to be, but she’ll be ok.”

So Dina Lohan‘s advice is “Just be around.” Wonderful. Okay, Amanda Bynes‘ parents, here’s exactly what you want to do: The exact opposite of those three words. In fact, if there’s some way you could maybe no longer exist in this plane of reality, that’d probably be your safest bet. Granted, I don’t think Dina was getting that metaphysically deep because her blood is 80% Beefeater, the end result of her parenting is Lindsay Lohan, so however far away you can get from that, the better. Also, now that I think about it, she never murdered her offspring, so I’ll just float that out there without saying any more because now my lawyer’s looking at me like he just shit a stroke. Dude, what?

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. grobpilot

    Great advice from a wonderful mother?

  2. Dina Lohan Kidnapping Baby
    JR
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ah, yes. The only inhalant more powerful than cocaine and Moscato…the soul of an innocent child. I haven’t had one of these in years.”

  3. mike

    After reality sneaks in, Dina will realize Amanda is not the 5th Lohan.

  4. Dina Lohan Kidnapping Baby
    Ben Dover
    Commented on this photo:

    kinda sad when you can’t tell the difference between Lindsey and her skanky mom

  5. Dina Lohan Kidnapping Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Parenting advice from Dina Lohan? I would faster take cooking advice from Jeffery Dahmer and advice on women from Ted Bundy.

  6. Arlene

    Shit! That’s like Hitler advising Sadam Hussein on human rights.

    • I think Dina is so stupid and deluded that it has never dawned on her exactly how fucked up she really is. She probably believes she’s giving good advice. At least Hitler knew he was trying to take over the world.

  7. Joe

    Blind leading the blind

  8. Bec215

    That is one of the more coherent things she’s said… and that’s sayng a lot, considering her misuse of a 7th grade PSAT word like ‘strategic’.

  9. Dawn

    “So it’s a very strategic place…”
    She is so stupid! She hears “big” words and then just randomly inserts them into sentences without having any idea what they mean. Strategic–hahaha!

  10. Dina Lohan Kidnapping Baby
    Gary
    Commented on this photo:

    “now my lawyer’s looking at me like he just shit a stroke. Dude, what?”

    Seriously, you should get a Pulitzer for that one.
    I love the way you write.

  11. anonym

    Dina, you know, talks like a dumbass, you know.

    A 6th grader is more articulate than she is.

  12. Dina Lohan Kidnapping Baby
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s a lovely baby… Have you started whoring her out to directors and producers yet?”

  13. Dina Lohan Kidnapping Baby
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    “I shall name you ‘Little Lindsay’ and sell you to Disney.”

  14. Dina Lohan Kidnapping Baby
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re scaring the baby! Go away!!!

Leave A Comment