Nothing Will Happen To Diddy
“Hands up, don’t shoot because I attack motherfuckers with a kettlebell.” (Allegedly.)
Monday night, Sean “Diddy Puff P. Daddy Diffy Pop” Combs was arrested for allegedly attacking a UCLA coach with a kettlebell and making terrorist threats towards the staff that tried to intervene. The whole thing was caught on tape, so naturally UCLA is going to decline to press charges because guess who’s probably getting a new dormitory exactly like everyone predicted. TMZ reports:
Sources directly connected with the team tell TMZ, the coaches are regretful the situation escalated to an arrest. They think Diddy is a jerk who they’d like to make persona non grata, but they don’t want to make this a courtroom spectacle, largely because it would be bad for the team.
Sources with direct knowledge of the confrontation between Diddy and Sal Alosi tell us, after the incident the coaches all decided to just let it go. They believe an intern called UCLA police and when the cops arrived, they asked to see the video and that was enough to hook Diddy up.
We’re told head coach Jim Mora does not want a criminal prosecution. The interns who were present and allegedly threatened could press the case, but if Mora is against it they would probably follow suit.
Meanwhile, Diddy’s son Justin went on Instagram and actually thanked his dad for helicopter parenting the fuck out of his coach and making sure he’ll never get yelled at during practice again which has never happened in the history of football until now. Coaches yelling? My heavens, I’ve got the vapors just thinking about it. That poor boy could’ve died.