Diddy ‘Knocked Down’ The Twin Towers. Also, Babies.

January 28th, 2011 // 54 Comments
Diddy

In probably the greatest lawsuit since U.S. Fudge Consortium vs. Homophobic Slants, Inc., Diddy is being sued for $900 billion worth of child support by a woman who claims he not only “knocked down” the Twin Towers on 9/11, but gang-raped her children over a casino chip worth “100 zillion dollars,” so we should probably hear her out. RadarOnline reports:

“[Diddy] went through Kim Porter and Rodney King and knocked down the WTC and then they all came and knocked my children down. Set me up to be on disability and disabled my baby. he put my baby in a wheelchair.”
“He date raped me 24 years ago and knocked me down him and Kim Porter and Wallace Wright, then Sean Combs and Kim and Wallace Wright came back 18 years later and raped and sexually abused my children and knocked my children down and crushed me and my children daily.
“Plus I won a lot of money at the casino in Mississippi and Sean P. Diddy Combs has my chip to my money. I heard he gave it to Gwen Allen to hold but she can not cash it in. I want my chip please help me. it’s well worth over 100 zillions of dollars, and my hospital keys. They put me and my baby in the hospital and broke my baby 2 legs and sexual assaulted my children and crushed us.”

Is Michele Bachmann missing a speech writer? Because I think we just found her and she’s confused Obama with Diddy again. Then again, who hasn’t? Amirite? Eh? *holds up hand for high-five* Anyone? Ah, you guys are just messing with me. Let’s get some ‘za.

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. Kayne East

    I hope she wins.

  2. lol, things like this make me *so* happy to be an American.

  3. anon

    Dear God what lawyer on earth is representing her, rather than seeking to have her committed?

  4. Ash

    I have got one word for this. Crack.

  5. kanye is not cool

    hahahaha, wait..what?

  6. Marley

    I don’t even know what that all meant.

  7. Bucky Barnes

    I thought Diddy was just a washed up has-been but it sounds like he’s been busy. Good for him!

  8. Mortimer Duke

    This shit made me laugh so hard! Is this a real case or a kid playing with their lawyer Barbie doll?

    “like a zillion dollars”

    “sexual assaulted my children and crushed us”

    • Bucky Barnes

      I’m glad to learn he didn’t skimp on the crushing. Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

  9. Ksurfiws

    Diddy and Obama are Black! I get it

  10. Dan

    If you think this woman sounds crazy, check our this blog: http://jamisings.wordpress.com

    It is insane ramblings of this lady who lives in Lake Havasu, CA.

  11. time to plead insanity.

  12. Diddy is a terrible, terrible person to do that to a baby. I mean raping a baby, and knocking them down, even breaking their legs is bad enough…but daily crushings? that’s over the line.

    9-11 kind of sucked too, so F-U Diddy.

  13. gg!!

    This is really weird :s

  14. Waitin for Rod Serling to come out n explain dis shit..

    • Gary

      Considered for your approval… Diddy, a famous and once-popular rapper turned entrepreneur, now at the mercy of a mad woman’s incoherent ramblings and horrible grammar. Cold, hard fact… or terrible truth? The answer lies… in the Twilight Zone.

      *Daaaa-dun-dun-DUNDUN!!*

  15. Jon

    lol this is amazing. love the bachman joke as well.

  16. burton

    i hope she wins too, shes prolly telling the truth…

  17. Bill

    Hear the lamentations of the women! Seriously though, it’s shit like this that makes America the laughing stock of the world.

    • Cock Dr

      Serious mental illness is everywhere, not just in America.
      Unless you were talking about Diddy. I have no defense for that one.

  18. nahhhhh

    And when not filing lawsuits, she’s leaving anti-liberal comments on The Superficial.

  19. mupps

    Holy shit……that was epic!

  20. Gilberator

    Courtney Love…your crazy heroin/meth-fueled rants never cease to make me smile.

    Oh. Oh sorry. I got the pictures in the post below confused with the words in this one. My bad.

  21. Beatnik

    Meth. It’s what’s for breakfast.

  22. Andriiya

    Oh stewardess! I speak jive.

  23. Rough City, U.S.A.

    Not only do I firmly believe this gem of a woman. I also believe, all the Networks are involved in the conspiracy, for not signing her to a reality show. I couldn’t be more serious.

  24. Lissa

    Judge to woman “mmmmmmhmmmm….I can barely understand you, so let me get this straight, “P Diddy” knocked down the world trade center with what I’m assuming is that big head of his and stole money from you…sounds ’bout right. Judge rules in favor of nut job!”

  25. Dagens24

    Somebody get this woman a furry wall; she needs to lay off the Jeffrey.

  26. holyhalitosis

    have you ever been up close and personal with a mouth-breather like him? that breath will knock anything down.

  27. SaraBell

    WTF?! Diddy stole 100 zillions of my dollars too but I was always too ashamed to come forward… until now.

  28. Wouldn’t it be funny if she actually WON..

  29. john

    Probably she is out of her mind

  30. wim

    they placed a D*LDO in his mouth instead of nipple when he was born, folks?

  31. BeeTee

    Excuse me stewardess? I speak “Jive”. Naimean?

    • barry

      Why do stupid people have access to lawyers. she cannot speak English, but can sue to a “zillion dollars”

  32. Barry

    What language was that. English…Ebonics,….Pig Latin?

  33. Ed

    I would expect this kind of behavior from Kanye West, but I thought Diddy was better than this.

  34. wow, you are dumb.

  35. Her lawsuit should significantly strengthen my lawsuit against him for rape of the ear. Every time I hear the words “Hello Good Morning” I have traumatic flashbacks.

  36. Lynn

    This is absolute foolishness. Why are Americans so litigious? What happened to working hard?

  37. jensenLUVER tanya

    ummmmm…..ummmmm…….im lost 4 words. WTF!!!

  38. elbruce

    I don’t hear P. Diddy denying it…

  39. Ginger

    HAHAHAHAAHA! If anyone believes this crackhead, you’re as dumb and dillusional as her! a freaken chip worth 100 zillion??? WTHB?

  40. It’s all true. If you look right on the chip it says in small print: “Well over 100 zillions of dollars!”

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