Hey! Take Yo’ Gotdamn Shoes Off Before You Get On Diddy’s Boat

May 23rd, 2012 // 153 Comments
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You and I live boring, conventional lives where getting invited over to someone’s house and being asked to remove our shoes is generally accepted because we all know shampooing carpets takes fucking forever. Also, shoes are violent oppressors whose shackles I’ve long since escaped, you toesy-restricting bastards. Anyway, when someone like Diddy throws a lavish yacht party at an international film festival, you’d just assume guests get to keep their fancy footwear on because it’s not like he can’t afford an army of maids to tidy up. Except apparently that’s not the case because here are a bunch of famous people being forced to leave their shoes in Tupperware containers while I’m guessing a butler with a machine gun stands watching like a Nazi prison camp. Which makes absolutely no sense considering half his guests walked around with their noonerholes asunder, and if the veneer of a millionaire’s yacht is anything like the cloth interior of my old 1995 Honda Civic, which I don’t see why it wouldn’t be, there’s going to be a couple holes come morning. (Yes, I dated some fancy women. I’m trying not to brag about it.)

Photos: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Michelle Rodriguez Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    sexy wet dog!

  2. Shermine Shahrivar Panty Flash Upskirt Drunk Diddy Yacht Canes
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeeesuusssss WTF!

  3. Michelle Rodriguez Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ay Dios mio, I forgaaaaat tu comb my haer!!!

  4. Kim Kardashian Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bitch!, who the fuck invited you?”

  5. Shermine Shahrivar Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoever said black is a slimming color, never saw this…

  6. Kim Kardashian Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Well they’ve got the ballasts covered…

  7. Shermine Shahrivar Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    shonzie
    Commented on this photo:

    do these people have mirrors? and know what transparent material is? yikes!

  8. Lady Victoria Hervey Bra Panties See Through Dress Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    The cross is more of a directional aid here…

  9. Shermine Shahrivar Panty Flash Upskirt Drunk Diddy Yacht Canes
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I was wondering what class of “celebrities” would bother to show up at a Diddy party so long after his 15 minutes of fame were up. This actually seems about appropriate.

  10. Lady Victoria Hervey Bra Panties See Through Dress Diddy Yacht Cannes
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    And the award for pest sheer-dress panty-shot photo-bomb, goes to the one true lord and savior…Jesus Christ!

  11. Kim Kardashian Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    the greatest thing about this photo? Kim Kardashian is wearing a dress that Gwyneth Paltrow wore to an awards show this year. I’m pretty sure this is some convoluted payback for the whole Beyonce not allowing Kim K. in her sight thingy. You know, cause Beyonce is Gwyneth’s black friend.

  12. Shermine Shahrivar Panty Flash Upskirt Drunk Diddy Yacht Canes
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok wow. In public. In a dress. Let’s just hike this leg up like so, aaaaand, perfect. Standing on two feet is so passé.

    • Cock Dr

      She was probably really really hot and needed to air out the flaps.
      Looks like a refined & high class event for sure. Wonder how many people wound up puking & peeing over the side of the boat before morning.
      Did Diddy do it? I’ll bet Diddy did do it. Diddy’s done it all.

  13. Paris Hilton Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know how to make this into a coherent joke, but this picture makes me think of.barnacles on a porthole.

  14. Michelle Rodriguez Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy was clearly there for the booze and women in sheer dresses.

  15. Shermine Shahrivar Panty Flash Upskirt Drunk Diddy Yacht Canes
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Figured Jerry Rice was a better dresser than this.

  16. Kim Kardashian Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    Phase two of the friends-with-Beyonce scheme: Dress like Gwyneth.

  17. cg

    Those morons wore the wrong shoes to a boat party – - any idiot knows that you don’t wear hard soled shoes or heals on a boat . . .

  18. Lady Victoria Hervey Bra Panties See Through Dress Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice whiteys, Lady V.

  19. Lady Victoria Hervey Bra Panties See Through Dress Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s giving “The Shocker” with an international twist.

  20. Shermine Shahrivar Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    “That bitch is wearing the same dress as me! And in the same size none the less…”

  21. Benicio Del Toro Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    puhleez
    Commented on this photo:

    he is always making that face

  22. Shermine Shahrivar Panty Flash Upskirt Drunk Diddy Yacht Canes
    puhleez
    Commented on this photo:

    that vadge looks like it might be a bit drafty

  23. Kim Kardashian Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    MOO

  24. Kelly Brook Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Bobin
    Commented on this photo:

    He made those people take their shoes off but look it all the shit on the floor. Dumb Ass Diddy.

  25. Kim Kardashian Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    MOO

  26. Shermine Shahrivar Panty Flash Upskirt Drunk Diddy Yacht Canes
    Parker
    Commented on this photo:

    How elegant. What kind of woman…ah but who am I kidding? I’d plant my penis in her pooper so fast she wouldn’t know what hit her.

  27. Kim Kardashian Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    MOO

  28. Shermine Shahrivar Panty Flash Upskirt Drunk Diddy Yacht Canes
    Commented on this photo:

    Since I’ve seen her twat, I guessed I’d better find out who the fuck she is. Miss Europe 2005. Model (natch). First Iranian girl to be featured on German Playboy mag.

    She’s a real catch there, boys.

  29. Benicio Del Toro Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    “My feet hurt,” he was heard mumbling as he walked away wearing Tara Reid’s heels.

  30. Kim Kardashian Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    MOO

  31. Michelle Rodriguez Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    When you invite Michelle Rodriguez to your yacht party, one of the three following things is bound to happen… fire started by cigarette, stains of an unknown origin on the couch, or a motherfuckin’ iceberg will spring up out of nowhere.

  32. Kelly Brook Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    get that sleaze ball away from my woman!

  33. Again, were are the terrorists when you need them. Note to Terrorists: Make sure Kelly Brook has been safely moved from the point of explosion.

  34. Adrien Brody Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    “You and me, Adrien. We’re the ‘We Made Out With Halle Berry But We Didn’t Fuck Her ‘Cause That Bitch Be Crazy’ Club. I’ll get some jackets made.”

  35. Kelly Brook Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, even the menu got an erection.

  36. Shermine Shahrivar Panty Flash Upskirt Drunk Diddy Yacht Canes
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Fancy shoes remind us to act fancy. Once the shoes come off, the legs go up, the vag comes out. It’s science.

  37. Tara Reid Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    When Diddy invited her, she wasn’t sure if he said there would be free blow or she would have to blow everyone for free.

    Just a regular Tuesday night for Tara.

  38. Tara Reid Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you identifying Tara Reid by the slit up to her slit on the skirt or the too-stand-to-drunk-immabarf lean??

  39. Benicio Del Toro Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Benicio del Toro is David Johansen in the New York Dolls movie. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

  40. Michelle Rodriguez Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    You can pretty much tell she’s picking a fight here.

  41. asdf

    So there were only like 5 people at this party?

  42. Paris Hilton Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Do they make valtrex foot cream yet?

  43. Kelly Brook Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the worst penis doodle I’ve ever seen.

  44. Michelle Rodriguez Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “THHHufferin’ THHHuccotash!” exclaimed Rodriguez.

  45. Lady Victoria Hervey Bra Panties See Through Dress Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    A Lady doesn’t wander all over the room with her tits and panties on display.

    That’s why this Lady is a tramp.

  46. Tara Reid Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Va va voom!

  47. Kelly Brook Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to say something about the knee pattern on only one stocking, but I can’t get past the possibility that seersucker-jacket-over-Metallica-T-shirt-guy just might be with Kelly Brook.

  48. Kelly Brook Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, so it’s this guy who’s with Kelly Brook, not Metallica T-shirt? Hmm…whew? No…

  49. Paris Hilton Drunk Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Tokyo Slim
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok… the world is weird to me when Paris Hilton looks classy and elegant and Kelly Brook looks like a retarded super hero.

  50. Lady Victoria Hervey Bra Panties See Through Dress Diddy Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, so you’re showing up a close-up of this, but not her unclad tits, because…I don’t know, you don’t want this site to run afoul of the content filter on public wi-fi accounts? Pansy-asses.

    And if that is the case, you’re a little late on that score—if anything, I’ve noticed an increase in the number of places where this site is blocked. Sometimes, it’s just the pics that are blocked, but hey, that’s practically the same thing.

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