Hey! Take Yo’ Gotdamn Shoes Off Before You Get On Diddy’s Boat

You and I live boring, conventional lives where getting invited over to someone’s house and being asked to remove our shoes is generally accepted because we all know shampooing carpets takes fucking forever. Also, shoes are violent oppressors whose shackles I’ve long since escaped, you toesy-restricting bastards. Anyway, when someone like Diddy throws a lavish yacht party at an international film festival, you’d just assume guests get to keep their fancy footwear on because it’s not like he can’t afford an army of maids to tidy up. Except apparently that’s not the case because here are a bunch of famous people being forced to leave their shoes in Tupperware containers while I’m guessing a butler with a machine gun stands watching like a Nazi prison camp. Which makes absolutely no sense considering half his guests walked around with their noonerholes asunder, and if the veneer of a millionaire’s yacht is anything like the cloth interior of my old 1995 Honda Civic, which I don’t see why it wouldn’t be, there’s going to be a couple holes come morning. (Yes, I dated some fancy women. I’m trying not to brag about it.)

Photos: Splash News, WENN