‘Did You Get That? Annnd.. Cut, Secret Chinese Cameras.’

Here’s Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in Costa Rica pretending to be a divorced couple sharing custody of their dogs because that shit happens all the time. (Actually it might. You pet lovers are weird.) Anyway, for two people who supposedly can’t wait to get away from each other, they seem to spend a lot of time on tropical islands wearing next to nothing. Then again, that could all just be a clever ruse to make me think they’re still together, but trying to make everyone else think they’re not. I guess what I’m trying to say is, if Heidi’s nose fell off how high-pitched would Spencer’s shriek be? Because I’m going with it could summon bats like that thing Batman carries around when he wants to make a dramatic entrance.

BATMAN: *pushes button* This is going to look tits.
CITIZEN: Oh, no! Oh, my God. These bats are giving my children rabies! Rabies! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THEM?! THIS IS COMPLETELY UNPRECEDENTED!
BATMAN: …. *hides in a dumpster*

Photos: Pacific Coast News